


My Eyes Are Open (Open Your Eyes: Pt 2)

by PrinceofDarkness15



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Emotional Manipulation, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Falling In Love, Forgiveness, Heartbreak, I'm Bad At Tagging, Oral Sex, Physical Abuse, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-20
Updated: 2019-11-06
Packaged: 2020-12-24 12:27:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 55,921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21099455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrinceofDarkness15/pseuds/PrinceofDarkness15





	1. Chapter 1

Rey leaned her head against the taxi window, watching the city lights of Manhattan with tear-soaked eyes. In a blur, the look on Ben's face as he had walked away from her a few hours before rushed through her mind.

The closer she got to his building, the further away she got from her past with Poe, the more she felt as though her sanity and heart were hanging by a delicate thread. She shifted restlessly and her gaze fell on the glowing green light of the digital clock.

It was nearly one o'clock in the morning. A glimmer of hope flooded her body, and she squeezed her eyes shut, praying that Ben would take her back.

As the taxi pulled up in front of his high-rise, she reached in her purse and pulled out a wad of cash. After handing the unknown amount to the driver, she swung open the door and stepped onto the sidewalk into the cold, late November air.

"HEY!" the Middle-Eastern driver called out to her. "You have to close the door, lady!"

Rey heard his words but paid him no mind. Her fumbling feet pushed her forward, kept her moving toward what she had hoped would be a new start. A new future with the man she just knew she couldn't live without.

She pulled open the door and crossed the lobby. Sweat clung like decay across her flesh. With a trembling hand, she pressed the button for the elevator. Her nerves skyrocketed with love and anxiety.

Once the elevator doors opened, she stepped inside and leaned against the wall, physically and mentally exhausted. As she tried to stop shaking, tears steadily fell. Unsure of Ben's reaction, Rey struggled to pull in a decent breath.

She tried to tamp down the wicked emotions curling through her. The doors opened to what would either be a new beginning or...an end.

Feet glued to the ground, she stood frozen for a moment, her eyes trained on the wall across the hallway. Vaguely aware the elevator doors gliding closed, the became dizzy as she lifted her hand to hold it open. Slowly, she stepped out.

Her vision tunneled as she turned towards Ben's penthouse, and her mind spun out of control with every possible scenario. She strained to focus on his words from earlier, allowing her fear to wane as her feet led her closer. Her pace quickened with ever step.

Once she reached his unit, her fears returned with a vengeance, anchoring heavy in her chest. With trepidation, she knocked on his door, each knock mimicking fierce pounding of her heart. She wiped away tears as her body trembled from head to toe.

The minutes ticked by with no answer, and she knocked again, harder.

"_Please answer, Ben._" She chanted the silent prayer while ringing his doorbell.

With tears trickling down her cheeks, she stared at the peephole, envisioning him staring back at her. The thought of him watching her stung and cut a fresh path thought her heart.

"Please!" She cried, ringing the doorbell again. "God, Ben, please! I love you! I'm so sorry!"

Nothing. Hands still shaking she reached into her purse and pulled out her cell phone. She dialed Ben's number. Eyes locked on his door, she listened to it ring over and over again.

_You've reached Benjamin Solo. You know what to do._

Rey's heart clenched, tightened, and dropped into the pit of her stomach when she heard his deep voice. That sweet voice would forever haunt her if he didn't take her back, That sweet, pleading voice that she begged her to believe him.

She hung up, dialed again, and listened once more. She didn't speak. She couldn't. Her frantic breathing would be the only message he would receive. 

Words...she had none.

Rey pressed a hand to her mouth as the realization he wasn't forgiving her set in. For a few painful moments, she was silent. Then grief erupted in her chest.

A torrent of tears flew down her cheeks. Her cries echoed throughout the hallway. She retreated and felt her back hit the wall. She stared at his door, the vivid memory of his face ingrained in her head.

Searing pain surged and twisted in her gut as she slowly made her way into the elevator, her heart plummeting with its decent.

Shoulders slumped and spirit broken, Rey unlocked the door to her apartment. A small light above the stove cast a faint glow across the living room. Quieting her footsteps, so as not to wake Rose, Rey made her way into the bedroom.

Still, shaking a cloak of sadness enveloped as she padded into her bathroom. 

She flipped on the light and stared at her reflection. The hazel eyes, once vivid with hope, held no resemblance of life. She ran her fingers over her cheeks, muddied with mascara. Her face looked pale.

Even worse, her heart was stricken with loss. She flattened her palms against the cool marble surface of the sink, hung her head, and wept, gulping for air as pain so deep blanketed her soul.

Regret in the most brutal form tightened like an unforgiving noose around her neck.

She tried to calm down by turning on the hot water and splashing her face. After reaching for a towel, she dried herself and shut off the light. Fatigue slowed her feet as she made her way to her bed, and she curled up on her side.

Exhausted, she sank into the mattress, attempting to gain a few hours of sleep. But that wouldn't come. No. As seconds, minutes, and hours ticked by, Ben's pained face and confused eyes invaded Rey's conscience. She drew in a shaky breath, rolled onto her back, and stared at the ceiling.

Over the next few hours, swells of gut-wrenching pain rippled across her heart. She'd let him slip right through her fingers and now...now he was gone.

Trying to ignore the ear-piercing sound of First Order Holding's private jet's engines firing up, Ben wondered of Rey would even remember things he'd never forget. Wondered how this was truly the end. He'd lost her.

In less than seven hours, she would ne Poe's for good.

He tugged his suitcase from the back of Tim's Jeep, his heart sinking further into his stomach as he peered into the clear, cold night air. Tim stepped onto the tarmac--his expression no more at ease than it'd been when Ben had first come to him.

"You really don't have to do this, man." Tim yelled, tufts of his dark hair whipping around the engine's fury. "Just bouncing out of the city in the middle of the night won't bring her back, Ben."

Ben wasn't sure if leaving would erase the mark Rey had seared into his soul. He also wasn't sure if he'd ever be free from the ache of needing her. The only emotion he truly fucking owned....he knew he had to get out of New York.

Get the fuck out, and get far away from the ghost of Ry that would no doubt haunt him.

"I've already told you, I need to get off the grid for a while, Tim." Ben argued, roughing a hand over his face. "I just can't be here right now. Look, just take care of switching our stocks out of Poe's hands."

Tim released a weighty breath and nodded. "I'll take care of it first thing Monday morning." He clapped Ben's shoulder, his eyes softening. "You have to be good with all of this when you get back though, man. Just promise me that you'll put Rey to rest while you're down there."

Ben's chest palpitated at the sound of her name. "Yeah." he replied, his voice grave, "I-I'll definitely tried."

After a few moments of staring at each other, Ben climbed the stairs to the jet. Turning, he watched Tim drive off the property of the small, private airport.

Mind-fucked and in the deepest turmoil of his life, Ben dug into the pocket of his jeans and pulled out his cell phone. Without even looking at it, he tossed it onto the runway. It shattered when it hit the ground. Off the grid meant off the grid.

No contact with anyone. No one trying to pull him from his pain, and no one trying to convince him of his actions or that they might be destructive.

After handing his bags to the flight attendant, the pilot came out to greet him.

"Good evening, Mr. Solo." The pilot, gray-hair spilling over his forehead, firmly shook Ben's hand. "Everything you've requested has been prepared, and we should arrive in Playa de Carmen in just over four hours, sir."

Ben gave a weak nod and headed into his private cabin. He closed the door his eyes immediately landed onto a minibar bottle of bourbon screaming out his name. He grazed at it contempt. Darkness seeped in onto the bed.

He peeled off his coat and tossed it onto the bed. Trying to stave off the evil angel invading his thoughts, he strode across the small space and reached for the mind-numbing amber liquid. Deciding to forgot a glass, he twisted off the cap and brought the bottle to his lips.

The alcohol burned his throat, offering up not an announce of reprieve from his pain.

It was then that Ben knew there would never be a time in his life he wouldn't be aware of Rey's absence. Drunk or sober, she would riddle of heart and soul until the day he died. He _still_ loved her. He knew he would until he drew his last breath.

Breathed her in as if she were the around him.....the air he would be deprived of forever. He put down the bottle, ran an exhausted hand through his hair, and attempted to cast visions of Rey's beautiful eyes staring back at him from his memory.

He walked over to the window, peering out at the city below, and knew it didn't work. Nothing would. Neither soaking his pain in alcohol nor running from her could mend what he was feeling.

She was gone. As the twinkling lights faded with the jet's climbing altitude, Ben's heart continued to mourn over the woman he'd lost while his mind wondered how long he would be at her funeral. 

With the morning light sucking the last of the stars from the sky, and without a minute of sleep claimed, Rey sat up and made her way into the kitchen. Nausea filled her stomach. She reached for the refrigerator door, pulled it open, and grabbed a bottle of water.

She shank into a seat at the table as Rose rounded the corner.

"Hmm, I see Douchnugget here, dropped you off early this morning." Rose clipped, glancing at Rey. She walked over to one of the cabinets and tugged it open. "How nice of him to allow his bride to be to actually get read on her wedding day at her own place!"

"Rose, I'm--"

"Before you even begin to defend, Poe, or you sick and twisted delusional thoughts, Rey, I want you to know how upset that Ben was last night!" Rose slammed the cabinet door. "I've never in my life seen him so hurt!"

Rey closed her stinging eyes, her heart constricting at the thought of the pain she'd caused Ben. She shook her head.

"Rose, please, listen, I'm not---"

"I know, Rey. You're not in the mood to talk about this!" She huffed, yanking open another cabinet. "Or let me guess, you're not delusional into thinking you should marry Poe because you don't believe Ben?!"

"Rose!" Rey let out, rising. "You're not even listen got me! I'm not---"

Rose whipped around her black eyes narrowed. "I fucking hate saying this, Rey, but I think I really must! I can't be a part of this today! You love Ben, and Ben clearly loves you! Don't deal and you know what else, I believe Ben, and even if you don't, you're forcing me to choose!"

She then placed one hand on her hip and rushed the other through her thick black hair, trying to keep her composure. God, smacking the living shit out of Rey would make her happy.

"I'm sorry, Rey, but I'm not going to the wedding today and as for Poe he can shove something so far up his ass that he has something to choke on!"

"Good, because neither am I." Rey whispered, sitting back down in her chair. "I'm not marrying Poe."

Eyes wide with shock, a smile split across Rose's face. "You're not?!" she gasped, rushing over to Rey's side.

Rey shook her head as a fresh round of tears seeped from her eyes. Rose kneeled down beside her and wrapped her arms around Rey's waist. Her words tumbled out against Rey's stomach.

"Oh my God, oh my God! You're so not on my shit list anymore! I fucking love you to death right now!"

"I realize that I've hurt Ben." Rey nearly choked over the words. "I wanted to believe him, and part of me did, I guess, but I was just so afraid, and now I feel like it's too late."

Confusion peppered Rose's expression as she stood, bringing Rey with her. She cupped Rey's cheeks. "It's not to late....in fact, it's never too late. Listen, as soon as you call him, he'll forget everything that happened. Ben loves you. Sure, he was super pissed last night, but he would die for you. Believe me, that's all he kept saying during our drive."

Trembling, Rey sucked in an unsteady breath. "No. I went to his penthouse last night, and he didn't his door." She backed away from Rose and tucked herself into a seat at the table. "I called his phone a few times, and he didn't answer. He's totally done with me, and I deserve every bit of pain that's coming to me right now."

Rey just shook her head, her voice trailing off as the guilt and shame washed over her like tidal wave. God, Rose hated seeing her so upset---she hated seeing them both so upset.

These two idiots---didn't know a damn thing when it came to love---but she knew it definitely wasn't over between them.

"I just can't believe that I let this happen."

"Well, he didn't have me take him home last night." Rose dropped to her knees and grabbed a hold of Rey's hands. "From the rehearsal dinner, he had me bring him by Tim's house. What happened sobered him up a little, but I'm pretty damn sure homeboy's still knocked out. Think about how tanked he was. Besides, it's only seven in the morning. He probably didn't even hear his phone going off. I'll call him in a little while, but you need to try and calm down, okay?"

Rey slowly pulled her hands away and pressed the hells of her palms against her eyes. She reluctantly nodded, swallowing some of the worry coursing through her mind. "Okay, I'll try to calm down."

A slow smile touched the edge of Rose's mouth. "I'm so proud of you, Rey."

"Proud of me?" She questioned, wiping her nose with the back of her hand. "For what? For hurting Ben like I did? His face, Rose. I can't get his face out of my head."

4

Eyes softening, Rose brushed her hand against Rey's jaw. "No, I'm proud of you for finally seeing the light! For seeing that you deserve a better life with a man who honestly loves and cares for you. Again, you may have temporarily hurt, Ben, but the two of you are going to be just fine. You'll see."

Rey stared at Rose and allowed a flutter of hope to settle through her limbs. She nodded, praying Rose's statement would prove true.

"All right." Rose said, standing and looking down at her watch. "Your un-wedding day is supposed to take place in little less than four hours. Tell me what you need me to do, other than go get us some coffee because there's none here? You definitely look like you can use a cup, and I know I can, too."

Rose walked to the hall closet, pulled out her thick North-Face coat, and slipped it on. She then proceeded to grab her keys before turning back too back to Rey once more.

"Do you want me to call Finn? or Kaydel?" She halted in midstride. "Better yet, can I call your ex-future husband and tell him to fuck off?"

Rey rose and moved across the kitchen. She grabbed a paper towel and blew her nose. The thought of Poe waking to find her gone sent cold chills up her spine. "He actually doesn't know yet."

Confusion pinched Rose's forehead. "What do you mean? I thought--"

"I left after he fell asleep." Rey interrupted, rushing her hands over her face. "He has absolutely no idea where I'm at, or what I'm about to do. You're the only one who know knows."

Rose's jaw dropped open, her eyes wide. "Umm...okay. I could be totally wrong about this, but shouldn't the expectant groom know this little bit of information?"

On a sigh, Rey walked past Rose and into her bedroom. She started rummaging through her dress drawers. Other than, Ben, the only thing she craved was a long, hot shower. "Yes, Rose, but I need to clean myself up first, and when I'm done, I'm going to call him and tell him it's over."

Rose leaned against the doorway, concerned edging her eyes. "Okay, but can you at least wait until I get back from the coffee shop? I'll shoot Finn and Kaydel a call to let them know what's going on, okay? I just would feel better if they were here."

Knowing that Rose was worried, Rey slid her drawer closed and gazed at her. "Yes, I'll wait." She then walked over to Rose, her eyes soft. "Thank you....for this."

Rose cupped Rey's chin, giving it a slight shake. "You're so welcome. Go ahead. Get in your shower, breathe a little bit, and I'll be back in a few!"

Rey nodded and watched her leave. After the front door snapped shut, Rey couldn't help but feel dread scorching her stomach. Confronting Poe, with or without Ben by her side, wouldn't be an easy thing to overcome.

She sighed, trying to ignore its festering presence. She made her way into the bathroom, set her sweatpants and sweatshirt on the vanity, and turned on the water. As hot steam curled through the air, she stripped last night's clothing from her body and slipped into the shower.

She reached for the bar of soap and slowly ran it across the aching flesh between legs as visions of what she'd allowed Poe to do to her invaded her thoughts. With her head hung low in shame, her chestnut hair formed a curtain over her face.

Her every muscle felt bruised, used, and soreness paled in comparison to her battered and beaten heart.

She sank further into the darkest recess of her mind, replaying what he'd done last night over and over. It was nothing short of a nightmare. It was then that she realized the enormity of what she'd allowed him to get away with over the past year.

The awareness of how she'd deceived herself into thinking that he loved her, cared for her, for them, knocked the very air out of her lungs.

The overwhelming, deep-seated obligation she'd felt toward him for the things he'd help with was something she knew brought her to this very moment. Anger at herself swelled, bubbling low in her belly as she scrubbed faster, harder at her flesh, over her arms, face, and legs.

She wanted to remove his very existence from her pores. She turned the water hotter and cringed at the way she had let him manipulate her every action. Her every thought. Crying, she sucked in a deep breath and tried to pull herself back together.

Poe was no more. They were no more. He was gone. Through her daze, Rey rinsed her body of not only the bubbles lathering her skin but also the malicious venom he'd poured into her soul.

She stepped from the shower, reached for a towel, and pulled it around herself. Standing before the mirror, she glanced back at the woman she'd part ways with. Forever.

"Never again." She whispered. She shook her head, smoothed her hands over her cheeks, and pressed her eyes closed. "Never."

After taking a moment to reflect on the insanity the day promised to bring, Rey slipped into her clothing, dried her hair, and made her way back into her bedroom. She jerked to a halt when she heard her phone buzz, the sound alerting her there was a message waiting.

Sudden anxiety that it was Poe and possible hope that it could be Ben gripped her. Swallowing she edged toward the nightstand and, with a trembling hand she reached for her phone. 

Both her anxiety and hope evaporated upon seeing it was a voicemail from Kaydel. Rey gave into the fatigue chasing her, sank onto her bed, and rested her head on a pillow.

As she listened to her friend's concerned voice, Rey heard the front door creaking open. She sat up and took the last few seconds of Kaydel's message, notifying her that she and Finn were on their way.

"Rose?" Rey called as she slid her phone shut. She tossed it onto the bed, ran a palm over her face, and stood to make her way into the room. "I hope you got something to ear while...…"

She paused in the living room archway, her words trailing off. Startled, she froze, silent and alert, when she found Poe causally leaning against the counter. His eyes traced over her as he sipped orange juice from a glass.

"When I woke up this morning, you were gone, Rey." After setting down the glass, he sauntered over, a cocky smirk plastered on his face. "Were you that excited to get back her and get all prettied up so you can marry me today, huh?" He brushed his fingers against her cheek.

It nearly made her want to vomit---_God, where was Finn and Kaydel? Please, hurry up and get here!_

"So I figured I'd stop by before I went over to Hux's to get ready myself."

"Get the fuck away from me, Poe." she whispered, her voice shaky. She jerked away, trying to hide the fear rushing through her veins. 

Poe blinked, clearing the roughness from his throat. With narrowed eyes, his face suddenly filled with confusion. "What?" He asked, stepped closer and grabbing a hold of her upper arm.

Rey yanked it from his firm grasp, her shoulder slamming against a curio cabinet as she stumbled back. "You heard me, Poe! I said get the fuck way from me!" Her words dropped from her mouth in a hiss. "I'm done, Poe! So fucking done! This---" she pointed between them---"it's over! I'm no longer your willing victim!"

Before he knew it, he had her pinned against the wall, one hand gripping her hair as the other clenched her chin. He ran his tongue across his bottom lip and studied her. "You did fuck him, didn't you?"

Though a small cry pressed from Rey's mouth from the pain searing her skull, she answered dripped out as sneer. _"Yes,_ I fucked him! And_ yes,_ I'm in love with him, and _no,_ I'm not now, nor will _I_ ever marry you!"

Even as fear doused Rey's limbs, a sense of relief and freedom took over, rooting somewhere deep inside. For half a heartbeat, she closed her eyes, allowing visions of Ben to seep into her thoughts, but a hard crack to her cheek from the back of Poe's hand sent her eyes wide open.

The sting rippled across her flesh as she trashed her fists against his chest in an attempt to break free.

With one hand still tangled in her hair, Poe jostled her across the room like a worn-out little toy. Landing on all fours against the wooden floor, Rey tried to stand, but Poe grabbed her by the hair and forced her back down.

"You sick little fuck!" she screamed, curling her hands around his wrists as he hovered above her.

Poe dropped to his knees and yanked her head back, forcing her to look into his eyes. "You fucking bitch! After everything I've done for you, you turn around and fuck him behind my back?!" He snarled, fisting her hair tighter.

Pulse thudding and using every bit of her strength, Rey clawed and dug her nails into his skin as she tried to untangle his hands from her hair. "You've done nothing for me but break me down!" she cried.

When he couldn't release her, a jeering smile split from her face. Tears slipped down her cheeks. "I wish I could've fucked right in front of you!"

**********

Eyes glacial, hollow, and darker and the night sky, Poe struck her face again. Rey felt the skin above her brow rip open, pain needling her flesh. A gasp tore past her lips as warm, thick blood trickled along her temple, snaking down her cheekbone.

Still gripping her hair, Poe pulled her up and hauled her body against his chest. Daring to meet his eyes, Rey swallowed the fear coating her throat as Poe pegged her with a look telling her this torture wasn't over.

With a rush of anger and adrenaline slicking through her nerves. Tiny silvers of blood streaked across Poe's lids as a howl of pain scrapped from deep within his throat.

Somewhere above the twisted havoc, raking hard in her mind, Rey registered the sound of the front door swinging open, followed by Kaydel's screams. In a flurry of commotions, Finn rushed up behind Poe, grabbing him under the arms.

Finn's movements were frantic as he pulled Poe from Rey. Both men stumbled, their limbs flailing in every direction. Finn landed on his back on the floor. Poe fell on top of him. The loud thud echoed through the room.

Finn tossed Poe away, rolled to the side, and sprang to his feet. With Kayde's arm curled tightly around her shoulders, Rey shook uncontrollably, crying as she watched Poe stagger up from the ground.

Finn lunged swung his fist, and caught Poe's mouth. The blow split his lip. "I should've done this to you last night, asshole!" Finn sprawled.

As Poe righted himself, he stumbled forward, clenching Finn's collar. Before he could anything, Finn's fist landed in a continuous assault against Poe's face, knocking him clear to the floor.

A clatter of voices, including Rose's, rang in Rey's ears as nausea churned in her stomach. She stood frozen, her cries drying in her mouth, as she watched her apartment fill with concerned neighbors, and within a few minutes a couple of New York City police officers.

After a quick explanation from Finn, one of the cops dragged Poe to his feet and cuffed his hands behind his back.

"You fucking whore!" Poe wheezed, spitting a mouthful of blood in Rey's direction. "Nothing but a fucking whore! I sincerely hope he fucks you and then leaves you like all the rest, you fucking cunt!"

Poe's poisonous words pressed into Rey's head in a violent explosion. She felt as if she were a tiny particle of dust in moving in slow motion in the middle of a roaring tornado.

Though insanity whirled around her in a room filled with people, she didn't see anything...but Ben's face. Though one of the cops threatened to make Poe's overnight stay a memorable one, she couldn't hear anything....just the thrumming of her broken heart.

The only thing she could comprehend was the numbness flooding her veins. She freed herself from her friend's hold and slowly made her way over towards Poe, who stood with a cocky smirk toying at her bloodied lip.

Staring into the wicked soul of the man she'd loved for so long, the man she'd given all of herself to, and without a tear in her eyes, she smacked him across the face.

Unable to stop the pent-up anguish from the months of hell she'd allowed him to put her through, pain erupted in her hands, down to their fragile bones, as she continued to beat her fists against his face and chest.

"You did this to me!" she screamed, struggling against of the officers. The officer pulled Rey back as she glared up at Poe. "I loved you, and you became everything you said that you never would! And you want to know something else, Poe Dameron?!" she asked, her breathing a ragged mess.

With the smirk now falling from his face, Poe peered over his shoulder as an officer escorted him out of the apartment.

"If Ben does leave me and never talks to me again, I will have deserved every second of misery I'll be in without him!"

Body shaking Rey watched Poe walk out of her life as quickly as he'd walked into it. She wrapped her arms around her stomach, thoughts of Ben splintering through her heart as she fell to her knees.

With her last bit of strength, Rey backed herself against the coffee table, dropped her face into her hands, and began to cry violently. Kaydel sat beside herm pulled her into her lap, and cradled her head against her shoulder. As Kaydel rocked her back and forth, Rey realized she'd saved herself from becoming another statistic.

Another silent voice. Surprised she'd let it get so far, visions of her parents flashed through her memory. The haunting images chilled Rey's bones.

"Shh, Rey." Kaydel whispered, holding her tighter. "It's over now."

Rose knelt beside them, her voice soft. "Are you okay?" 

She handed Rey an ice pack and opened a first aid kit. Taking out a bandage, Rose tore it open and placed her hand under Rey's chin. After securing a piece of gauze with medical tape over the fresh wound above Rey's brow, Rose frowned.

Eyes watery, Rey nodded. "Yeah, I'm all right."

The remaining officer then walked over to Rey, his overly wound physique making his uniform look ill fitted. "Miss, I'm sorry to interrupt, but I'm going to need a statement from you. The paramedics should be here soon. They'll take you to the hospital if you think you need to be seen."

"No." Rey brought the ice pack up to her swollen cheek bone. She flinched as it made contact with her skin. "I don't want to got o the hospital."

"That's fine." the officer replied, looking at a clipboard. "You can refuse treatment when they get here, but they still need to show up because it was a domestic violence call."

Finn sat on the ottoman, his expression piqued in question. "Rey, I really think you should go get checked out."

"I agree with him." Kaydel said, concern brimming her eyes.

Rey rose, trying to rein in the discord fucking with her mind. She moved unsteadily across the living room to check if Ben had called back. Kaydel and Rose scrambled to their feet and followed her into her room. 

Rey turned away and pushed her hands through her hair. She reached for her phone, heart dipping when she saw she didn't have any missed calls or texts from Ben. "I said no, Rose. I don't need to go to the hospital." Tears gathered in her eyes as she slumped onto her bed. "I'm fine. I just need some aspirin and some sleep is all."

Rose's lips formed into a hard line. She looked over to Kaydel, her expression showing equal worry.

Kaydel crossed her arms and leaned against the doorway. "Rey, I swear, you can be so stubborn sometimes."

"I know." Rey whispered. "But really, I'm fine."

Rose lifted her head and exhaled toward the ceiling. Bringing her attention back Rey, she placed a hand on her hip. "You want to know the only reason why I'm not going to push the issue any further, friend?"

Rey pressed her eyes closed and shook her head. "Why, Rose?"

"Well, that would be because you gave Duckleberry-Finn a pretty decent beat-down before his ass was hauled out of here!"

Rey lay back, rolled to her side, and hugged her knees to her chest. Normally, she would've found Rose's comment somewhat funny. But not now. She couldn't. It was all she could do to muster a reply.

"Right." Rey said, sadness clouding her voice. 

She brought the ice pack up to her cheek again. Eyes steeped in pain from discomfort, she stared over at Rose.

"I guess I did." Rey inhaled a deep breath, grabbed her blanket, and pulled it over her body. "When the paramedics get here, send them in. But right now, I just need to rest."

Though concern still showed on their faces. Without another word, they walked out of the room. Over the next half hour, Rey filled out the necessary paperwork from the officer and refused treatment when the paramedics eventually showed up.

Once the room became quiet and her thoughts finally started to settle, her eyes came to rest on her phone. Picking it up, she stared at it, her face paling when she saw it was void of any messages from Ben. 

Tears streamed down her cheeks, Knowing that she had to explain the hurt she'd inflicted upon him, she dialed his number. She chewed at the inside of her lips as she listened to it ring.

When he voice mail picked up, she went to close her phone but stopped herself. Worry plagued her, and an ache for him, so deep, tightened in her chest.

"Ben....I...It's Rey." she whispered, trying not to trip over the emotions climbing up in her throat. "I don't expect you to talk to me ever again, but I just need to say a few things." 

Taking a deep breath and exhaling slowly, she continued.

"Poe diminished my sense of feeling alive, Ben. But you.....you brought that back to me. When Jessika opened the door that morning, I...." Rey paused, wiping away her tears. "I was just so scared that you took her back, but I should've let you explain and I didn't. I'm so sorry! I'm sorry that out of any girl in this world you could've fallen in love with, you chose me. I'm sorry that I didn't believe you when I should've, and it was me who broke your heart. I love you, Ben. I know you're the one who said you thought you loved me from the moment you saw me, but I know...I know, that I loved you from the moment that I saw you. Something inside me told me that I supposed to be with you, but I fought so hard against it. So many things about you scared me at first, and then you showed me who you really are."

Unable to keep fighting the raw emotion weighing heavy on her heart, Rey broke out into hysterics.

"Please forgive me for fighting against us, Ben. Please forgive me for not fighting for us when I knew we were supposed to be together! Forgive me for being the weak I am! But more than anything.....thank you for loving me! Thank you for your dimpled smile and your bottle caps. I'll never be able to look at one without thinking of you! Thank you for your stupid Yankees and your wise-ass remarks! Thank you for wanting late-night drives and sunset watching with me! Thank you for wanting the good, the bad, and the in-between."

Rey paused and shook her head, but before she could say another word, the voice mail cut her off, the long beep alerting her that her time was now up.

"I'm just so sorry that the only thing you ever got my from me was the bad." she whispered, starting at the ceiling as she clenched her phone to her chest.


	2. Chapter 2

In her twenty-four years of living, there were times when Rey would experience a numbness that would set in when she wanted to shut something out. She allowed her mind to get go of poison plaguing her life at certain points.

These were times we actually welcomed it. Breathed it in the sweet smell of roses. It was the type of numbness one could say "cleansed her."

However, as she sat the coffee bar in Bella Lucina, tracing and retracing numbers on her napkin, the numbness planting itself in her heart like a thick, summer weed, was something she'd never felt before.

Something she didn't want to feel.

216 hours....of feeling dead.

12,960 minutes....of feeling lost.

777,600 seconds....of feeling completely numb.

Days upon days, her concentration, which seemed to be carefully knitted together by strands of hope, was fading. Lost. Even while she slept, her mind lingered on Ben, her dreams dangerous because they reminded her that he was gone.

He came a beautiful vapor that disappeared into thin air, taking Rey's very existence with it. Left with broken thoughts, she was sure couldn't be repaired, Rey was suffering knowing that he had loved her when she least deserved it.

No. This wasn't something she was prepared for, yet she knew she had to own every hour, every minute, and second of it.

"Hey, I got you a coffee." Kaydel announced, sitting down next to Rey.

At that, Rey reluctantly brought her gaze up to Kaydel's face and nodded.

"Thanks, though, I think I don't even deserve this....any of it. I put you....and everyone I love into such a horrible disposition." said Rey, retracing the numbers on her napkin over and over again.

"What have you got there?" Before Rey could answer, Kaydel swiped the napkin from her. "What are all of these numbers, Rey?"

"It's nothing." Rey yanked it back from Kaydel's grasp.

Frowning, Kaydel studied Rey's face, her expression thick with concern. "Rey, look, I'm not trying to be dark or dismal here, but please tell me that's not some kind of countdown to you killing yourself, right?"

Eyes wide with shock, Rey leaned back in her seat. "Jesus, Kaydel, do you honestly think that I would do that?"

"Just answer the question, Rey. Is that some kind of countdown?"

Rey sighed and tapped the pen against the napkin on the granite surface of the bar. "It's been nine days since he left, Kaydel. Nine days since I completely destroyed him. I've called, and he hasn't answered any of my calls or texts."

"Right, but he hasn't answered anyone's calls or texts." Kaydel snaked her arm around Rey's shoulder. "Tim told Hux the other day he hasn't even answered for him either."

"I understand that, but Tim's not the reason he left in the first place. I am." Rey shook her head, trying hard to fight back her tears. "He handed me his heart, and I threw it away like it was garbage. I made him leave his family, his friends....his entire life."

"Rey, first of all, you really need to stop beating yourself up over this. Considering what you saw that morning, he's lucky you even believe him. I'm not saying you shouldn't, but let's be real here. That was some pretty heavy shit. Second, he left because he thought you were marrying Poe. Once he finds out that you didn't, he know he'll be right back."

"He already knows that I didn't marry, Poe." Rey whispered, her heart breaking all over again. "Rose told me that Tim left him a message with his housekeeper. He let him know I didn't go through with it."

"Oh, I didn't know that." Kaydel mumbled and looked away. She twirled a piece of her hair and brought her attention back to Rey again. "Maybe he just needs more time to let this sink in?"

"I honestly don't know what to think anymore." Rey rubbed her temples. "All I know is that I love him and that I'm so lost without him."

Kaydel frowned and twisted her body toward Rey. Before she could say anything, Hux snuck up behind her and ticked her rib cage. 

Eyes wide, Kaydel jerked around. “Armitage!” She squeaked, garnering unwanted attention from nearby customers. 

They glared at her from across the coffee shop. Kaydel bit her lip and mouthed. “Sorry.” They customers sitting close by shook their heads and resumed their conversations. “You unimaginable asshole!” Kaydel whispered, pushing Hux away. 

Hux chuckled and pooped a kiss on top of Kaydel's head. "Sorry, I forgot you were ticklish, Blue."

"Sure you did, jackass." Kadyel grimaced and stood up. "What are you doing here so early? You know we're right in the middle of a girl pep talk, right?"

"I actually came to talk to Rey." Hux said, looking over at Rey, his smile guarded. "Are you free for just a moment?"

"No, not yet." Rey said as she held up her cup of coffee. "I haven't had a sip yet."

"Rey, come on---you can drink coffee while carrying on a conversation with me about your forgetful boyfriend." said Hux, sarcastically. "Want to go to sit in a booth?"

"Sure." Rey slowly stood and made her way over towards an empty booth near the back of the coffee shop. "Do you want a coffee or something to drink?"

"No, I'm cool. Thanks."

Rey slid into the seat and sipped on the hot liquid that was her vanilla latte. With sleep coming close to nonexistent these past several days, she hoped the double shot of caffeine should shock her zombie-like-system back to life.

Hux gazed at Rey, his eyes shimmering with remorse. "First, I just want to say that I fee like such an asshole about this whole thing with Poe."

Rey shifted, taken aback from his sudden declaration. "Come on, Hux, none of this was your fault."

"No, Rey, really. I need you to hear me out, all right?"

Reluctantly, Rey nodded.

"I'm so sorry this is the first time that I've come to see you since all of this shit went down. Part of me really wanted to show up the day it happened, but I couldn't. Over the past year, I watched, without saying a fucking word, as he tore you down." Hux paused, his fingers nervously tugging at the white linen tablecloth. "I remember how vibrant you were when you two started dating, and piece by piece, he dismantled everything about you. Don't get me wrong, I think I knew things were starting to get bad, but I guess I didn't realize how bad it really was."

Pausing again, Hux leaned back and shook his head, feeling this wasn't going no where. Rey seemed just as confused as ever, so he figured he ought to take this from a completely different approach.

"You know what? No, fuck that! I need to claim responsibility here. I saw it. I saw it with my own eyes, and I should've stopped it. I could've stopped it. I had a goddamn argument with Ben about him vilifying Poe because he said that he was falling in love with you."

Hux plowed both hands through his red hair and let out a breath, his voice lowering to a whisper.

"For fuck's sake, Ben's been my best friend since we were kids, and I didn't even take his side during any of this. I watched Poe hit him at your rehearsal dinner and I didn't do a fucking thing to stop it. Not a fucking thing! Some friend I am!"

"Hux, please. You're not---"

Once again, Rey nodded and let him continue.

"Rose can vouch for me on this, my father would've never talked to my mother the way Poe talked to you! If he had, she would have knocked the shit out of him!" Hux's gaze fell on Kaydel, preparing a fresh urn of coffee at the bar. "Damn, I love her and I could never imagine anyone treating her the way that Poe treated you. End of story, I tucked my tail between my legs, and I can only hope that you and Ben can forgive me for being such a pussy. But what's done is done. All I can do now is try to make this right. I left Resistance Alliance this morning, I didn't even see the asshole when I cleared out my things, but I'm done with him and his bullshit. When I said I considered you my second sister, I meant it. A brother would never allow his sister to be treated that way."

Hux then reached for Rey's hand and it squeezed firmly.

"I just need to know you forgive me."

With tears slipping from her eyes, Rey cleaned Hux's hand, her thoughts scattered. "I can't forgive you because I never blamed you or anyone else for this. I played the biggest part in allowing him to do this to me, so I don't want you feeling responsible."

"Well, that's just it--I do feel responsible."

"No, Hux. I let him do this to me." Rey released Hux's hand and pointed at her chest. "Me, not you."

"But after everything you saw growing up? Rose told me that your parents had their problems---and all their arguing is what lead to the car accident. I'm thinking that has something to do with it. Me, I have no excuse."

As the memory of her parent's destructive relationship soured her mouth, Rey tore her attention from Hux. Her gazed landed on a couple walking into the coffee shop. Their laughter echoed as they took a table near the front door.

"Right, their marriage was rocky, but I should've known better than to follow in their footsteps---despite the fact that Ben and I were never a married couple to begin with." Rey's voice trailed as she fought hard to regain her composure. She brought her eyes back to Hux's.

"Well, you've tajen the first step on your own, Rey, and I'm proud of you for pressing charges and getting an order of protection against him. With Ben now gone, you need to call me if the asshole ever tries to get in touch with you, okay?"

Rey brushed her fingertips along the healong wound above her brow. "I will. Thank you." She hesitated a moment and then cleared her throat. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"You've called Ben and left him messages, right?"

"Yeah." Hux nodded.

Rey drew in a long breath, her hands twisting in her lap. "Please tell me that you didn't let him know what Poe did to me."

"No, I figured telling him in a message wasn't the right thing to do. But when he does get back, I plan on talking to him about it."

"Please, listen to me. I don't want him to know what happened while he was away. He'll.....I don't know what he'll do exactly, but I'm sure it's not good. Just please, can you not say anything to him?"

Hux angled his head to the side, a current of confusion lacing his voice. "Are you really asking me to hide it from him? Are you crazy!"

A pang of apprehension pooled in Rey's stomach as she swallowed. "I am. He's been hurt enough through all of this, Hux. If he knows about it, he'll go after, Poe."

"Why are you trying to protect Poe?" Palpable shock sobered his features.

"God, Hux, I'm not trying to protect him. I'm trying to protect Ben. He's been gutted enough by all this. If he finds out, there's no way he wouldn't go after Poe. God, forbid he really hurts him and winds up in jail. Jesus, Poe, could hurt him. I wouldn't be able to live with myself. I've already caused Ben enough bullshit."

Looking down, Rey swiped away tears gathering in her eyes. "Please, Hux." she whispered. "just don't say anything."

Hux ran a hand through his hair and down the back of his neck. "Look, I won't bring it up, but Ben knows Poe. He knows he wouldn't just let you walk away that easily. But I have to be honest, Rey, if he asks if anything happened, I'm not going to lie to him about it."

Rey pressed her fingers to her temples. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't ask you to lie for me."

Releasing a weighty breath, Hux blinked a few times and pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose. "Don't apologize. The whole thing's fucked up. Just promise me you'll tell him if you two work things out."

"Yeah, sure." Rey scoffed. "He hasn't even returned any of my calls" Returning her gaze to the couple seated across the coffee shop, she tried to ignore the heaviness in the pit of her stomach. "He's so finished with me."

"I think his head's just a little fucked up right now, but Ben's in love with you. I'm pretty sure when he comes back and gets on look at you, he won't be able to resist." Hux rose and placed his hand on her shoulder. "Let's just hope he doesn't stay away for the next six months."

Feeling as though Hux ripped the only remaining piece of her heart from her chest. Rey tried to breathe. She stood and stared into his eyes, her voice trembling. "Do you honestly think he would stay away that long?"

"Rey, I didn't mean it like that."

"No, you did. What would make you say that if it wasn't true?"

Hux chewed at the side of his lip and briefly looked wat. He shrugged. "Ben can implode when he wants to. I don't know how long he'll be gone."

As thick disorientation melted across her mind, Rey brought her hand to her mouth. "Oh my God, I can't....he can't." 

She started making her way towards the bar, her feet moving quicker than her body could comprehend. She reached her previous table where Kaydel was still sitting and grabbed for her purse, coat and scarf, her heart rate taking off.

"Look, I shouldn't have said that." Hux approached the table, his expression full of regret. "He could come back tomorrow---"

"Or in six months." she breathed, walking past him.

**********

As she reached for the door, her chest squeezed, tightened with panic. A shiver moved through her when she stepped out of the coffee shop.

With her mind speeding a mile a minute, Rey tossed on her jacket and scurried, almost running, through swarms of bodies clogging the sidewalk. Car horns, conversations, and sirens danced around her, but she couldn't hear any of it.

She felt deaf to all.

The only sound she heard was Ben's voice whispering in her ear, Ben's laugh humming through the air, and Ben's heart lulling her to sleep. A rush of tears fell at the thought of him being gone that long.

Nine days nearly sank her. She knew six months would certainly kill her. 

As the front of the Chrysler Building came into view, uncertainly about what she was about to do rippled across Rey's skin. But no matter how uncertain she was, she wasn't about to let it stop her.

Before she knew it, she found herself entering the lobby. As soon as she did, she felt the air whoosh from her lungs.

Her eyes locked onto the back of a gentleman leaning against the information desk. Her vision blurred with black hair and a muscular physique matching Ben's.

She came to a complete standstill as she watched him leisurely tuck his hand into the pocket of his hands and run the other through his hair the same way Ben did. Trying to suck in nonexistent air, Rey slowly moved in his direction.

Consciousness void of what her body was doing, she lifted a trembling hand and tapped his shoulder. Senses craving, Ben, Rey attempted to pull in the scent of his cologne before he turned around.

When he did, she was met by unfamiliar eyes, an unfamiliar face, and an unfamiliar smile. Her racing heart plummeted to her feet.

"Can I help you?" the man asked.

Unable to move or speak, or think, Rey stared up at the stranger. Hit by a sudden wave of nausea, she felt dizzy as she opened her mouth in an effort to say something. But nothing came out.

"Miss, are you okay?" With trepidation, the man placed his hands on Rey's arms. "You look like you're going to pass out."

Rey cleared her throat, shook her head, and backed away. "I'm....I'm so sorry, I thought....." She couldn't finish her sentence. Blinking once, Rey turned and squeezed into the crowded elevator, her compulsion to press on nearly irresistible.

A woman in red twill business suit rained her head around. "Which floor do you need?" She asked tersely.

Rey tired to regain some sense of reality, establish a hint of mental balance as she looked at the woman. But it wouldn't come. "I'm not sure."

At this, the woman laughed and shrugged. An older gentleman with a pleasant smile spoke up. "What's the name of the company you're looking for?"

"First Order Holdings." Rey answered, lifting her hand to her forehead.

"I'm familiar with it, and the two very charismatic owners---well, partner owners, I should say." the man clipped. He gestured with his head to the less-than-friendly, red twill business suit-wearing woman peering over her shoulder. "That's the sixty-second floor. Be nice and press it for this young lady."

With every effort she could gather, Rey smiled at her man. He nodded and winked. As the elevator opened the closed on each floor, Rey couldn't help but sink into the memory of her and Ben standing in the elevator together---and of course, that time he had come to see her at her office.

Though the small space was still half full with others, in that moment, it was just the two of them.

_She's not my girlfriend of that's what you're wondering_

_And who's to say that I was?_

_And who's to say that you weren't?_

The memory faded when the gentleman nudged her arm, letting her know they'd reached the sixty-second floor. She rejected her sudden impulse to leave the building. Nodding in thanks, Rey brushed past a few people and stepped from the elevator.

Once in the reception area, her gaze swept over a sand-blasted glass wall showcasing the name First Order Holdings. She swallowed as she made her way to the receptionist seated behind a tall, crescent-shaped mahogany desk.

The dark-haired woman looked up from her computer screen, her smile warm and welcoming. "Can I help you, Miss?"

Rey nodded, somehow managing a smile. "Yes, I need to speak with Tim Matika."

"I apologize, but Mr. Matika's in a meeting right now with the CEO. If you like, you can take a seat and wait for him. He shouldn't be more than another ten minutes." She gestured toward a seating area adjacent to a dozen or so cubicles. "Can I have your name, please?"

"Rey Johnson."

"I'll let him know that you're waiting, Miss Johnson." The woman gave her another smile.

"Thank you." Rey went to turn around, but before she could, her attention shifted to an opening office door.

Her nerves skyrocketed when she saw Tim stroll out, his deep, hearty chuckle hanging in the air as he shook hands with a man who's exited the office with him. Rey felt ill when Tim's eyes latched onto hers.

His jovial demeanor shifted almost immediately, his expression clear of any emotion. Staring at her, his mouth parted slightly as his eyes flitted between her and his business associates.

Rey tensed and watched him rake a hand through hair as he attempted to regain the friendly smile he was wearing just seconds before. Tugging anxiously at the hem of her white blouse, Rey waited as he showed the man to the elevators.

His gaze fell on hers once more before bidding his client a farewell.

"We'll catch up next week, Tom." Tim said pressing the button for the elevator. "Tell Ellie I said hello and my mother should be calling her soon for brunch."

"Will do." the man answered with a clipped nod before disappearing into the elevator when the door opened.

"Mr. Matika." the secretary chimed. "You have a Miss Johnson here to see you." 

"I see. Thank you, Natalie." Turning to face Rey, Tim dipped his head in greeting. "Rey."

"Hello, Tim." 

"What are you doing here?" he asked, his tone noticeably guarded.

Rey shifted nervously, staring into his scrutinizing black eyes. She swallowed hard. "I-I have to speak with you."

"Well, that's a bit obvious." 

"Then why did you ask?" She titled her head in question.

Tim lifted a brow, a smirk tipping one corner of his mouth. "Okay, let's go talk."

Following him, Rey tried to ward off the anxious nausea simmering in her stomach. Once in his office, Tim closed the door and shrugged out of his suit jacket. Without a word, he gestured to a chair in front of his desk.

After shedding her coat and scarf, Rey took a seat as her thoughts contended with a powerful urge to leave. But she wouldn't. She knew she had to keep the reason she was there in her forethoughts.

Casting a furtive glance in Tim's direction, she watched her hang his jacket in a closet, make his way over to his desk, and lounge in a seat across from her.

Tim cleared his throat, his eyes penetrating. "You really hurt him, Rey."

Longing rolled through Rey's already aching heart, but somehow, hearing those words from Ben's person assistant only intensified it, thickened the feeling beyond measure.

"I know I did. I know that better than anyone." Rey struggled to keep her voice from cracking. "But I love him, and I have to make this right. Rose told me you said he's not in the country. I need you to tell me where he is, Tim." 

Leaning back, a condescending snort slipped through his nose. "You love him, huh? How come I find that very hard to believe?" Rey reared back, shocked but Tim continued. "And how do you plan on making things right with him? Even if I did tell you where is, who's to say he'll take you back? You didn't see what he looked like when he showed up at my house lately last night. The look in his eyes. The hurt on his face." Tim leisurely shrugged, smugness clinging to his voice. "That's right, how could you? You were too busy enjoying your rehearsal dinner."

Heavy tension fell over the room, its presence nearly depleting the oxygen in Rey's lungs. His insinuation slapped her hard across the face. No longer able to control her emotions, she blinked as tears slipped from her eyes.

"Believe me, I paid that night in more ways than one. I tortured myself in more ways than anyone will ever know."

The sour truth tumbled from her mouth as her mind replayed the self-inflicted pain she'd allowed Poe as punishment for her actions and indecisions. As much as she loved Ben, she refused to subject herself to Tim's accusations of her enjoying anything from that hideous evening.

Fumbling out of her chair, she brought her had to her chest.

"You have absolutely no idea how much I love Ben. I can't breathe without him. I haven't slept. I've barely eaten. No, I didn't believe in at first, I couldn't. I opened the door that morning to his past when I thought I was his future. It killed me. My instincts told me to run, and so I did, and now we're both suffering for it."

Cupping her hand over her mouth, Rey looked down to the floor, her heart throbbing. She slowly brought her attention back to Tim, her frantic hazel eyes all but begging him at this point for some closure, for some answer.

"I don't know if he'll take me back, and I don't expect him to. I don't even know if he'll even look at me, because I can barely look at myself. What I do know is that I need to see him. I need to tell him how sorry I am. Even if it means putting myself out there without knowing any of those things. I have to do it." Rey drew in a gulp of air, her eyes narrowing. "But don't you dare tell me I don't love him because you're wrong."

Eyes no longer smug, understand and compassion filled Tim's features. Rising, he grabbed a pen and a sticky note. After scribbling something onto it, he rounded the corner of his des and handed her the tiny piece of paper.

"Here's the address to his house and a beachside bar you'll probably find him hanging out at."

Tim then dug into his pants pocket and pulled out his wallet. After thumbing through some cash, a smile pulled at the edge of his mouth.

"Though I wasn't too fond of you earlier, I'm not going to let you foot the bill to go down there for the little wise-ass." Tim reached for Rey's hand and tucked the money into it. "It's not my style."

Looking at the cash, Rey sniffled. She hook her head. "I-I can't take this, Tim! It's enough you're letting me know where he is."

She attempted to give it back to him, but he shook his head and pushed the money back towards her.

"I insist." He said. "Besides, it's only a few hundred bucks. I'll charter the jet to bring you down there, and I'll make sure everything else is taken care of, including your hotel." Tim cleared his throat and shoved his hands into his pockets. "Though, I hope otherwise, we need to go with the assumption that.....well, he might not be too thrilled with you showing up."

Rey swallowed tightly and nodded. As she gathered her belongings, she tried to push that haunting fact from her thoughts, but she knew making a move like this was something she might have to face.

After slipping on her coat, she stared at Tim for a moment.

"Have you heard from him at all?" 

"No." Tim shook his head. "Not yet anyways."

Fear scissored through her stomach. "How do you know he even made it down there? Something could've happened to him."

"Believe me, I know Ben. Nothing's happened to him." Assurance spun through hos tone as he walked Rey to the door. "He's the only one who'll do harm to himself."

With her mouth parting and worry lines cinching her brows, Rey's eyes widened. "You don't think he'd---"

"No, no." Tim interrupted, a grin twisting his lips. "That totally came across the wrong way. Forget what I just said." The tension in Rey's shoulders scattered like leaves in the wind. With his voice low, his grin fell away. "I apologize for my crudeness. He's my friend, and even I though I know he's a diehard Yankees fan, which I totally loathe because I'm a diehard Mets fan, I kind of dig him."

"I kind of dig him, too." Rey whispered, staring at her feet. She brought her gaze back to Tim's eyes, and for some bizarre reason she saw traces of Ben lingering in them. "Really, I do."

"I know but you don't have to convince me. You have to get down there and prove it to him. I'll have my secretary call you with the information you'll need."

Rey hugged her purse up her chest, her eyes swimming with gratitude. "Thank you, Tim."

Tim nodded and pulled open the door. Making her way out, tears tickled down Rey's cheeks. AS she stood once again in the elevator where it'd all started a mixture of relief and fear flooded Rey's body.

A dangerous storm ricocheted through her nerves, escalating her heart rate.

Still, though doubt showing up unannounced in an attempt to salvage any relationship with Ben strained through muscles, Rey knew she couldn't add any more numbers to the growing seconds passing, keeping them apart.

Ticktock…...


	3. Chapter 3

The setting Caribbean sun cast low shadows against mosasic tiles linging a small outdoor bar on the beach. Sitting on the southernmost tip of Fifth Avenue, Ben knew the place well and frequented it each time he visited the area.

Smoke lazily wended up from a fiery grill; the drifting aroma of shrimp tacos and tamales filled the air. With warm winds kicking up, Ben's broken heart raced in rhythm with the waves crashing against the sand as he took in the sights and sounds around him.

Steel drums playing down the beach hummed through his ears as vacationers finished up a game of volleyball on the hot sand.

Women with bodies to die for slapped layer upon later of suntan lotion across their surgically enhanced breasts.

A toddler skipped into the turquoise water, and his father ran after him. Eventually picking him up, he spun the child around. The little boy let out a gut-belly laugh, his head undoubtedly dizzy.

The corners of Ben's mouth turned up into a small smile while he watched them play. The man scurried out of the water, his son tucked tightly under his arm, and set the little boy on the sand next to his mother, abruptly interrupting her few peaceful moments.

Ben couldn't help but heel a deep pang of longing as he watched the middle-aged man crouch down next to his wife. A grin on his face, he pulled his fair-skinned love into his arms and planted a kiss on her lips.

With adrenaline-spiked clarity, the memory of embracing Rey rushed through Ben's thoughts.

He wanted this exact future with her---marriage, kids, the whole thing. Reaching for his bourbon on the rocks, rocks melted from the heat, he forced his gaze away from the happy couple.

"Senor, Solo." Ben lifted his eyes and saw one of the cabana boys he'd come to know well over the years approaching with yet another bourbon. Placing the drink in front of Ben, Miguel wiggled his brows. "This, Senor, is from the beautiful senorita over at the bar." He craned his head toward a woman seated alone over at the far end of the bar.

Ben stole a sideways glance in her direction. Crossing her long legs under a short, silk sundress, the woman aimed a coy smile over at Ben and sipped her pina colada. Her lips lingered in the straw as she gazed at him intently.

Ben simply nodded to thank her. He then returned his attention to the young Mexican worker, fished his wallet from his back pocket, and handed the man a tip.

"Thank you, Miguel. Go ahead another round on me." Leaning back, he draped his arm across the chair next to him. "How're Maria and the little one doing these days?"

"Oh, they're doing wonderful, Senor Solo!" He answered, the joy in his voice reaching his eyes. "We trying to teach to play football." The young man smiled and swiped Ben's empty glass from the table. "Well, you Americans call it soccer. We hope to see him play for....what do you call it? The Olympia?"

Ben let out a light chuckle. "I think you mean the Olympics?"

Smiling, Miguel tossed a dishrag over his left shoulder. "Yes! Yes, that's it! The Olympics! Then, he make me and my family have as much dinero as you one day, senor! Much happiness comes with that, Si?"

Ben picked up his new glass and swirled the brown liquid, the fresh ice clinking against the sides. He cast a weary smile at Miguel, his tone of emotion as visions of Rey plowed through his senses. "Right. Money brings much happiness, Miguel."

Miguel just grinned and turned away, leaving demons of despair to torture Ben. Buried just beneath the surface, a nearly insufferable pain latched on to his heart. Un-welcomed, flashes of Rey's chestnut hair tickling his face ran rampant though his mind.

No longer in his grasp, the thought sucked the last vestiges of feeling from Ben's soul.

As the mix of emotions ebbed with every unsteady breath that he took, his pain quickly gave way to anger. But try as he might, Ben couldn't escape her. The need for her tensed every muscle in his body as memories of them together clouded his thoughts, tripping and tumbling over one another.

With a wall of unease settling around him, Ben lifted his head. His gaze caught the attention of the woman who'd sent him a drink. Her features were pleasant enough. Rich, wavy shoulder-length red hair fell easily over the straps of her sundress.

Ben flicked his eyes across her slender physique as she stared at him, a timid grin taking over mouth. Though he didn't consider a woman who would stick out in a crowd, her eyes and smile lit up her face, and Ben found it hard to look away.

He watched as she gracefully slid from the bar-stool. She grabbed her drink and a clutch, and started making her way towards him. Eyes locked on hers, Ben swallowed and carefully listened to her heeled sandals clicking against the wooden deck. Before she closed the distance between them, the woman came to a complete stop.

She tilted her head and studied his face as if asking him if it was okay to join him. Ben found her trepidation appealing. With a reluctant nod, he motioned to the seat across from him. Smiling, she continued her pursuit and stepped down from the deck onto the patio lining the beach.

As she pulled out a chair she placed her drink and clutch onto the table, her hair blowing across her face with the warm breeze. When she brought her hand up to tuck the strands behind her ear.

Ben noticed her green eyes, their shade hauntingly familiar. Emotions swept over him as his mind desperately fought against his thoughts of Rey.

"I can spot a man with a broken heart from a mile away." the woman purred, sinking into the seat.

She crossed her legs and took a long sip from her frozen beverage. She subtly leaned across the table. A seductive smile tipped the corner of her glossed lips, her gaze falling from Ben's face to his chest.

"And what makes you think I have a broken heart?" Ben asked, mumbling as he turned his head away from her for a fraction of a second.

"Well...for starters...." she paused as she took yet another sip of her drink. "a handsome, rich young man who arrives to this place of paradise alone and unaccompanied, orders himself a few drinks to drown his sorrows seems like a man who's been through a hell of an ordeal, if you ask me."

After roaming over his upper body, she brought her eyes back to his face once more. Clearly, this woman wanted something he had, and it was evident as to what.

"So, what can I do to remedy this little problem for you, Mr....?" 

Ben leaned back in his chair and shook his head. "You're not as shy as you appear." he mumbled, reaching for his drink. "They do say looks can be deceiving. But it's all good. I'm not as shy as I may appear." Ben chugged the rest of his drink, set his empty glass on the table, and flicked with the his thumb and middle finger.

It's condensation allowed it slide smoothly across the glass top, clinking against an ashtray. He rested his elbows on the table, smirked, and tented his fingers under his chin.

"So you want to help remedy my little problem as it were? Consider me intrigued, Miss.....?"

The unnamed women bit down on her lip and mimicked his pose. "One: I'm very happy that you're intrigued. That was my sole purposing in coming over here. I really enjoy it when a man finds me intriguing. Two: No, I'm not as shy as I appear, honey. Far from it, actually. Three: I never once said that you looked shy. Nothing about you screams shy, and, for me, that's a very, _very_ good thing."

She uncrossed her legs, slipped her heel off her right foot, and reached down to massage it. With the tilt of his head, Ben watched soberly as she slowly ran her blood-red nails from the bottom of her foot up to her calf.

Redepositing herself in her chair, she tucked her shoe-less foot under her ass and smiled bright in his direction.

"Four: Yes, I'd really like to remedy your problem in whatever way you see fit. I'm going through a pretty tough time myself, so if you think about it, it'll benefit us both. And Five: you never gave me your name so why should I give you mine? It's apparent I'm slightly older than you, so you really should respect your elders. Wouldn't you agree, Mr....?"

Without moving, a grin pulled at the side of Ben's mouth. "Benjamin Solo."

"Ahh, well then, Mr. Solo, whose heart has clearly been hurt, it's very nice to meet you. I'm Miss Layton, but you can just called me Emily."

Staring into his eyes, she reached across the table, offering Ben her hand. He took it and felt her fingers draw small circles on his palm. She hesitantly pulled back and brushed her breasts together.

"So, who was she and why on earth would she just break the heart of a man who looks as enticing as you?"

With a nerve hit, Ben cleared his throat and glanced past Emily. He raised his hand for Miguel to bring them another round of drinks. He rolled his neck, leaned back in his chair, and tucked his hands into his pockets of his khaki cargo shorts. Face impassive and eyes pinned on hers, he cocked his head to the side. 

"Let me just clarify some tings for you. Emily's your name, correct?"

Looking slightly thrown off by question and the sudden change of tone in his voice, she nodded.

"Well, Emily." Ben continued as he stirred the contents of his drink. "One: my life, and who used to be in it, is really none of your business. So don't ask me about it again. Two: You may think you can remedy my little problem as you called it, but i'm pretty fucking sure you can't. However, I'm more than sure that I can fuck you into oblivion, remedying the recent tough times you've had right out of your mind. I might be younger than but, but trust me, you're not my first walk in the park. You get where I'm going with this?"

Eyes wide, Emily parted her lips but didn't speak. She nodded again.

"Good. I'm glad that we're on the same page then." Ben handed his credit card to Miguel, who's approached with their drinks. "Three: I've been around many intriguing women, so don't take my statement as a compliment. I know how to flatter a woman better than telling her. I find her undersexed, crazy approach intriguing. Four: If you want to fuck, we can fuck. All you have to do is ask. My house is a two minute walk from here. But i'll just warn you here and now, that's all it'll be. So don't expect a sleepover. I'll fuck you, and you fuck you very well, but I'll send you on your merrily little way once our escapade is over. I won't give you my number, and you'll never enter my life again. So now, I ask you....Emily." Ben cupped his chin, the crease of is brows showing he was trying to remember her last name.

"Layton." Emily answered, her voice cracking. "My last name's Layton."

"Ahh, that's right. So now, Miss Emily Layton, the ball's in your court." Ben ran a hand through his hair and shot her a wink.

Once again, Miguel approached the table with Ben's credit card. After shoving it back into his wallet, Ben looked across the table at Emily sitting speechless, her fingers rubbing up and down her neck.

"Make the call, Emily, because honestly, if we don't do this." he said with a slight shrug of his shoulders. "I'll just go back to my join and milk my own dick."

With shock twisting her face, Emily stood, slipped her sandal back on, and reached for her clutch. Assuming his curt response had possibly scared her off, Ben gave another shrug as he eyes landed on the family he was admiring earlier. He watched them make their way, hand in hand, over to a small, two-door clunk of shit.

He knew that his riches couldn't compare to their happiness. He waned that happiness and he wanted it with Rey. But Rey wasn't here---he wanted that clunk of shit.

"Well, are you ready?" Emily asked, her voice laced with sexual urgency.

Ben tore his attention from the fading dream and watched Emily pluck his bourbon from his hands. She finished it one long gulp. After placing the empty glass back down on the table, she brushed her fingertips across Ben's temple, down the side of his cheek, and over the curve of his jaw.

Ben momentarily stiffened, truing not to flinch at her touch. he rose and grabbed Emily's hand. His feet, as if they had a mind of their own, led them towards his place.

"So, aren't you just a little curious as to why I'm in Mexico all alone?" Emily questioned as they made their way down a small wooden walkway.

Looking out into the tumbling waves, the last of the sun falling asleep below the horizon, Ben shook his head and replied. "No, not really. I suspect you're here for the same reasons thousands of others are."

"You know something, you're really not a nice guy." She pulled her hand away, now second guessing herself as to whether she had made the right decision on accompanying him back to his place. 

Its absence didn't affect Ben either way. Still, she followed closely at his side.

"No, you see that's where you are wrong. I'm too much of a nice guy, apparently." Ben mumbled, idly wondering where Rey was in that moment. 

Loneliness flooded his chest, but he welcome it's suffocating presence. This was something he knew all too well. It was all too familiar to him. He almost considered it an old buddy.

"Right." Emily huffed, her tone tight with skepticism. "Well, considering what we're about to do here, maybe you could try to be a little...pleasant?"

Stopping just shy of his place, Ben looked at her, his brow drawn up. "Look, I laid it all out for you. I can do sex, but I don't do you any pleasantries. So take or leave it."

For barest second, Ben Solo felt incredibly ill to his stomach. He;d been raised to always treat women with the upmost respect, and he pictured his father's disgust with the way he was acting at the precise moment. Still, the thought was fleeting. His old habit screamed at him, waving it's self-medication right in his face.

This wasn't him---this wasn't who he was, but apparently, this was who he had become. Shut down. Shut off. Disconnected from himself and the things he was feeling---or didn't want to feel.

Emily pursed her lips. "Fine! But only because I need this more than you know!"

Once on his front porch, Emily whipped her crimson hair to the side, and Ben was suddenly engulfed by the scent of her body. Her jasmine perfume aroused memories he was desperately trying to forget. It shook him, nearly staggering his balance. He took a deep breath and steadied himself.

Looking down at her wanting green eyes, he brought his hand around the back of her neck and pulled her hard into his mouth. She pressed chest against his and let out a soft moan, her hands coming up to grasp his hair. Her moan, although filled with seductive, feminine yearning wasn't exactly the moan he had wanted to hear. 

Her lips, though sweet in their own way, didn't feel right locked to his. They didn't mold to his like a piece to a puzzle. Hating _himself_, hating _her_, hating what had occurred between them.

Anger swelled, and Ben started kissing her with ravenous intensity. He pinned her against the wall, reached for her thigh, and drew her leg up around his waist. She breathed out heavily as he roughed hands under her sundress, skimming just below her lace panties.

In one swift motion, he had three fingers buried inside of her. Her hips bucked against each hard thrust, and she clung to his neck, fisting the collar of his white linen shirt. Her pussy, though wet and as ready as any man could ever want, felt foreign, and at this, Ben fingered her deeper, harder.

"Wait!" She purred, trying to catch her breath. She towed her head back and stared into his eyes. "What the fuck are you doing?! Are you going to literally fuck me right out here?!"

With a smug grin, Ben backed away, leaving her panting body lax against the wall. 

"You're not as fun as you originally appeared to be, I see." he muttered, fishing his keys from his back pocket. He slid them into the door, unlocked it, and held it open as he waited for Emily to adjust her clothing.

Sighing, she picked up her clutch from the ground. As she walked past him, she rolled her eyes.

Dropping her clutch onto an antique, claw-footed table in the foyer, Emily's gaze swept across his expansive beachfront home. "Nice place." She faced him, her smile showing that she was impressed. "So now, where were we, exactly?"

"You were about to strip for me." Ben tossed his keys onto the table and started unbuttoning his shirt. 

After slipping it off, he leaned against the doorjamb of the kitchen and crossed his arms as he watched her slowly undress. Emily peeled the last piece of clothing from her body and moved toward Ben. She took his face in both hands and pulled him down to her mouth.

It was then that Ben shoved Emily back into his aching heart's closet, locked the door, and threw away the key. As he unbuckled his belt, one clear thought attacked his mind repeatedly....over and over again. Rey would be proud that he was taking a "void filler" to bed.

However, though this felt like revenge, it shouldn't have been and all he could repeatedly tell himself as he made love to this compete stranger was: _God, please.....forgive me, Rey! Please find it in your heart to fucking forgive me! This is not me---this is not me!_

**********

With fear eating away at her stomach and a desperate ache to reach Ben, consuming her, Rey handed her bags to the flight attendant as she stepped onto the First Order Holding's private yet.

Rose raised a playful brow once she got a look at the sleek, expensive, over-the-top interior.

"Hmm, maybe I need to go and break a few hearts in order to get special treatment like you....yes, it's been decided. While you're gone, I'm going to find me some insanely rich dude, fuck around with his head a little, and then get his personal assistant to send me where he is in absolutely fucking luxury so I can reclaim his love!"

Rey stared blankly over at Rose, her mouth agape. 

"You know I'm only kidding, Rey." Rose laughed as she grabbed Rey's hand, tugging her toward the back of the jet.

Trying to keep up, Rey sighed and just shook her head as she watched her best friend flop down into one of three three seats by the window. "What are you doing, nut job? You're not coming with me or is this something else you've decided on a last whim?"

"This is First Order Holding's new jet, and if you think I'm stepping foot off it before I see every inch, then you're just flighty as I thought." Rose haled and snorted. "I just made a joke. Flighty, flight, fly--flying, get it?!"

"Yes, I get it, Rose. Do you want to know what I've decided on a last whim?"

Rose tiled her head, her eyes suddenly wide. "You're not thinking of changing your mind, are you? I said that I was kidding around, Rey. You know I'm like your biggest fan right now. Look, I know all of this is scary for you--the whole flying alone thing and Ben possibly not taking you back---but you have to do this. The pilot doesn't drunk, well, not too drunk, so it's pretty safe to say you're in good hands. Besides, if you don't go, you'll never find out what could've happened between you and Ben. You'll regret it for the rest of your life."

Rey placed her hands on Rose's shoulders. "I'm not changing my mind---I'm going to him whether he likes it not not, Rose, but I've decided you're no longer allowed to drink cappuccino's." Rey dropped her arms and smiled warmly. "Especially for someone who practically vibrates after one cup, two cups and you look like you've been smoking crack."

"Oh.....right. My mother tells me the same, minus the whole smoking-crack part." Rose reached for the back cabin door. "Usually she just says I look like I've committed murder."

"What are you doing?! We can't just go in there!"

Rose whipped her head around and asked. "And why ever the hell not?! It's not Solo is going to pop out of the spare closet or anything!"

"Because it's Ben and Snoke's private cabin, that's why you crazy-cappuccino loving crackhead!" Rey exclaimed.

"Big deal!" Rose shrugged and pushed open the door. "Like I said, I want the grand tour before I get off of this thing!"

Rey just shook her head and watched Rose disappear into the cabin. When the engines roared to life, she squeezed her eyes closed and claw the tops of the cream leather seats on either side of her. The vibrating sound immediately ignited her sickened fear of flying.

She shivered. With a trembling breath and heart bouncing against her ribs, Rey mentally flipped through her one and only reason for being here.

_Ben.....Benjamin Organa-Solo.....the man she loved, the man she was fighting for....the man she wanted......._

Swallowing her instinct to get the hell off the jet, Rey steadied herself, wiped away the sweat gathering on the back of her neck, and took two tentative steps forward. She tried to breathe deeply through her nose as she took another step, her fingernails nearly puncturing the cold leather.

Grabbing the smooth, mahogany door frame of the cabin, Rey peered in and found Rose sprawled out on a kind-sized bed, her lazy smile showing that she was comfortable.

"You need to get up." Rey stated. "The plane is getting ready to leave the tarmac." 

She shakily made her way across the room towards Rose who sat up on the edge of the bed. Smile faltering, Rose pursed her lips. "You're seriously no fun when you're in "getting-your-man-back" mode, you know that?"

"I know." Rey frowned and rushed a hand through her hair. Her eyes darted around the room and landed on a blue Yankees cap hanging on a hook next to the minibar.

Momentarily, she froze. Ignoring both her fear of flying and Rose's bitching about something as she slipped off from the bed, Rey stared at the cap before moving toward it.

Lifting her hand, she gently grazed her fingertips against it, her heart heavy with memories of Ben's smile shining in the sun as they sat at the game just a few months before.

As if the cap had seared her skin, Rey dropped her hand, hot tears blurring her vision. Backing away, she once again resisted the urge to flee...to run. So used to running from everything, the habit consumed her, but it added as a slow smile curled her lips.

She closed her eyes, a tear slipping down her cheek, and allowed Ben's sweet, dimpled smile to wash over her. Allowed it to propel her into the unknown of what was to be of their future. If anything at all.

Rey felt a hand on her shoulder, and she swept away her tears, not wanting Rose to see that she'd been crying. Quickly, she turned around and made her way past Rose.

"Are you okay?" Rose asked, following her out into the aisle.

Slipping into one of the seats, Rey rested her head against the window. "Yeah, I'm fine."

Arms crossed, Rose arched a skeptical brow. "You know something, you're really not a good liar, Rey."

"Yeah, my mother used to tell me that all the time." Rey whispered, facing Rose.

With a wear smile, Rose leaned over the seat. She cupped Rey's chin in her hand. "Right here, right now, you're exactly where you're supposed to be, Rey. Everything's going to be just fine. I know you don't believe me but, I think I have some sort of weird physic thing going on. It's going to be bucket-loads of babies in a nasty green minivan with Mr. Ben Fuckable Solo. You'll see! He will come back to you---or you'll at least meet in the middle."

Rose then popped a kiss on top of Rey's head, straightened herself, and walked away towards the exit of the plane. 

"Text me the second that you land!" She called out as she exited the jet.

"Yes, mom." Rey groaned to herself.

After declining a beverage and a snack from the flight attendant, Rey closed her eyes and tried to concentrate on the baby-filled minivan. Ben's face flashed through her thoughts, bringing with it a flutter of anxiety and hope as she felt the jet jolt forward.

The sound of her rapid heartbeat was devoured by the screaming engines. She calculated the flight from New York to Playa de Carmen at four hours and fifteen minutes. after which she knew her life would be forever changed, more so than it already had.

Gripping the sides of the seat, palms sweaty, Rey Johnson found herself in a very different situation than the last time she was en route to a new destination, a new beginning. Sighing, she watched the city's steel giants disappear beneath the blanket of clouds.

Her heart sank as she inwardly prayed that what she was going would indeed change her life.

This time for the better....

This time no longer afraid.....

This time fighting for the man fate slated her to be with......

After an hour of standing in line to clear customs, Rey made her way through the crowded airport, her black suitcase rolling behind her. She weaved through a mixed array of tourists of every ethnic background as her nerves steadily built with each step. This was it. She was here, and there was no turning back.

She only prayed that when she left, she'd have Ben at her side. However, it wasn't something she was expecting to happen.

Upon emerging from the packed building, her flesh hit with heat, she squinted in the bright sun. She searched for the driver who Tim's secretary told her would be waiting. Through the mass confusion of vendors peddling handmade blankets, dolls, and T-shirts, Rey's gaze landed on a short, dark-haired man holding up a sign with her last name on it.

Approaching him, he smiled and flashed her passport. "Hello, I'm Rey Johnson."

"Yes. Yes! Hello, Senorita Johnson!" Reaching for Rey's luggage, the man returned the smile and led her toward a black limousine parked among several _collectivos_ in the buys streets. "Is this your first time in Playa de Carmen?" 

He opened the door for her. Rey slid in, welcoming the soothing, cool air conditioning. "Thank you. Yes, it is, actually."

After closing her door, he placed her belongings in the trunk, rounded the vehicle, and settled in the drive's seat. Twisting the mirror slightly, he stared onto it as he spoke. "Well, welcome! Our town is beautiful! My name is Javier. I make sure to you nice tour on our way to your hotel, Si?" 

"Oh, actually, I wasn't planning on going to the hotel right away." Rey dug into her purse and pulled out the paper with Ben's address. Not wanting tp let another minute pass without seeing him, she slid across the bench and showed it to Javier. "I'd like to stop by here first if I can, please?"

Nodding, Javier pulled away from the curb and smiled, his warm brown eyes twinkling in the reflection. "Absolutely, Senoritia Johnson! Wherever you like! I have you to your destination very soon, yes?"

"Thank you, Javier."

Rey sat back and tried to process every emotion working through her mind. The innate need for Ben hit her again, intensified beyond anything she'd ever she'd ever felt. Anxiety coiled in ribbons around her body.

She shifted restlessly; each breath becoming a struggle as she watched tour buses, mopeds, and Fifa, the Mexican police, fly by. Though the rid into the heart of Playa de Carmen took less then twenty minutes, the wait felt like forever.

With edgy nervousness pumping through her veins, Rey found it hard to concentrate as the limousine turned onto a desolate, narrow road lined with a few mansions.

When the vehicle rolled to a stop in front of Ben's home, she drew in a deep breath and tamped down every instinct telling her that Ben wasn't taking her back. Rey opened the door before Javier even had a chance to exit the limo.

She stepped out and took in the mammoth structure. Classic Mexican terra-cotta shingles crowned the white-stucco jewel sitting on a hill overlooking the pristine Caribbean waters.

Brushing her windblown chestnut hair away from her face, Rey found her mind frozen, yet her body ignored it's pleas not to move. Her body, nauseous with anxiety, felt Ben's pull, that deep, familiar pull she'd felt from the first tine she ever saw him.

Before she knew it, she was slowly walking up to his home. Javier called out from behind her, but she held up a hand, signaling him to wait.

Standing before the dark mahogany and beveled, etched glass door towering over her tiny frame, Rey fought back tears, lifted a trembling hand and rang the doorbell. Her heart sped, it's thumping rushing through her ears, as a blurred figured made it's way over to answer.

Body taut with fear, a fear she'd brought on herself by doing this to her and Ben, Rey closed her eyes and tried to gasp some minuscule hope that she wasn't about to face the disaster her head was telling her was coming.

Before the door swung open, flashes of Ben's copper-amber into Rey's thoughts; however, when it opened, those weren't the eyes staring back at her.

Raven-colored hair twisted into a tight bun, and wearing a maid's uniform, the lanky woman smiled._ "Puedo ayuadarle?"_

Rey shook her head. "I'm sorry. I only speak English."

_ "No entiendo lo que esta dicidendo! El Senor Solo no esra aqui!" _

Rey turned around and waved at Javier, who was waiting in the driveway with her luggage.

"Si, Senorita Johnson!" he said, climbing the steps to the covered porch. "I bring your bags in for you. Good?"

"No, thank for you for that, Javier. I don't need my belongings brought in. I think Mr. Solo's not home, and this woman's trying to explain to me where he is. Could you translate for me, please?"

"Ahh, of course!" Smiling, Javier swung his attention to the woman. _"Juanita, buenas tardes!"_

The woman nodded. _"Buneas tardes!"_

_ "Tim me envio al aeropuerto a recoger a esta joven y traerla de vuleta a cer a Ben. Esta en casa?"_

Rey waited as patiently as possible while they spoke. When they were done, the woman nodded before closing the door once more. Javier then looked over at Rey who was still waiting for an answer.

"Senor Solo's at a bar in Akumal. It's not too far of a drive. Maybe twenty minutes tops. Come, I take you there now!"

Rey watched Javier bolt down the steps and across the driveway. After placing her luggage back in the trunk, he opened the door to the limousine for her. Still standing on the porch, Rey hesitated.

Her mind was spinning over every possible reason she shouldn't show up in a public place to see Ben. She couldn't. It wouldn't be right. They needed privacy to discuss everything.

Though pain of waiting to see him, just even a little while longer, throbbed in her chest, Rey decided she would get settled into her hotel room and come back later in the evening. With that she started making her way back over to Javier to let him know of her plans.

As she neared the limo, she snapped her head in the direction of the sound of a vehicle's tires kicking up gravel in the distance.

Holding up her hand to shade the sun from her eyes, she squinted and watched the charcoal gray sports car cut a hard left in the driveway. With it's windows tinted black as an iron kettle, Rey couldn't make out who was driving.

That didn't prevent her heart, which was beating like a drum, from coming to a complete stop for a long second. As she tried to pull in a breath, the organ stuttered back to life when Ben stepped out of the vehicle, a grin on his face.

Rey's eyes flicked with uncertainty at his cheerful demeanor, considering he hadn't looked in her direction yet.

In a complete fog at what she was witnessing, chills shot and prickled across Rey's skin as not one but two reasons for Ben's jovial mood slid out of the car.

Taking an unsteady step back, panic flooded Rey's limbs when Ben's gaze caught hers. His grin disappeared immediately. She could read the question in his eyes, and she was she she was about to pass out.


	4. Chapter 4

Tilting his head in confusion, Ben halted mid-stride. He knew the past few days had taken their toll on him, mentally and physically, and he also knew he had some alcohol running through his system, but he was pretty fucking sure he wasn't seeing things.

"What....the....fuck?!" He whispered.

He whipped off his sunglasses and scrubbed the heels of his palms across his eyes.

"What's the matter, Senor Solo?" the brunette beauty asked, grazing her pouty red lips against his jaw. "You look like you've just seen ghost?"

Ben rolled his shoulder, shrugging her off his arm. "I think I have." he bit out, cutting his narrowed eyes her way.

The platinum blonde knockout snapped her gum. "Jeez, talk about split personalities! What's up? Who is that?"

"A ghost from my past....my recent past." Ben answered.

Ben tore his attention from the two "void fillers", his gaze intent on Rey, who was turning to get into the limo. Without saying another word, he jogged over to her, his body reacting to Rey in the only way it ever knew how.

Heart in his throat and confusion hammering through his head. Ben reached out, grabbing her elbow.

"What are you doing here, Rey?" 

The feel of her soft skin seared his mind, kicking up memories the was trying so hard to forget. Froze, Rey, didn't turn around. She couldn't Breathing heavily from his simple touch, she nervously swallowed and tried to find her words.

"I came here to talk to you." she whispered.

Ben released her and stepped back. "Turn around and look at me." he commanded, his voice low.

Pulse quickening, Rey slowly turned, her gaze locking onto his. Staring up into his confused brown eyes, she curled her fingers around the top of the door to steady herself. Her beautiful face nearly stole the very breath from Ben's lungs.

His eyes fell from hers, immediately landing on her quivering lips.

Lips God had created to fit his. Lips that'd haunted his every dream since he'd left. Her silky hair whipped around in the warm breeze, hair made to tickle his face as she hovered above while making love.

Ben tried to breathe while his need for her snaked through every tense muscle in his body, culminating in a tortuous, slow burn.

His chest constricted with love, but anger at her boiled beneath his skin. A slow smirk curled his mouth. "You mean to tell me that you have permission from your husband to come and see me now? I never took Poe for one who would grant his wife an open marriage."

Rey's knees went weak, her eyes steeped in confusion. "I didn't marry him, Ben. You know that. I....I called. I left you so many messages!"

Though she tried, she couldn't keep the tears from pooling in her eyes as she started at his shocked facial expression. Suddenly, she found her words tumbling out of her mouth all at once.

"I left Poe that night and went straight to your penthouse. I've called your phone every single day over the past few weeks. Tim called and left your housekeeper messages! Hux, Rose, we all did!" 

Rey looked away, her eyes locking on Ben's two female companions. Leaning against his Jaguar, they peered in Rey's directions as she shook her head and brought her gaze back to his.

"Look, I don't expect you to take me back, but I needed to come here and tell you how sorry that I am! I needed to tell you how much I love you, Ben. How much I need you in my life!"

Looking down at the ground, Ben grabbed the back of his neck with both hands. He snapped up his head and looked at the driver. 

_ "Javier, dame sus cosas!"_

Javier quickly nodded. _"Por supuesto, Senor Solo!"_

Rey watched Javier retrieved her luggage from the trunk and pass it over to Ben. After thanking him, Ben grabbed Rey's hand, his grip tight as he led her toward his car. Struggling to keep up, Rey's heels clicked frantically against the pavement.

She stared at the two women.

The brunette quirked a brow and placed a hand on her hip. "Um, we're not opposed to adding a fourth to this ménage, but I still think you've should've asked us first!"

The blonde nodded and straightened her pink tank top. Rey bit her lip, her eyes wide on Ben. Ben released a weight breath, pulled Rey to the passenger side, and opened the front door. He tossed her suitcase into the backseat. Opening the front door, he looked at Rey.

"Get in."

"What?!" She questioned, shock shimmering in her eyes.

"You heard me, Rey. I said get in the car." He replied, as he rounded the car.

The blonde cocked her head to the side. "Where are we going?"

"You two are going home." Ben answered, his tone clipped. 

He looked at his driver, who appeared just as confused by Ben's deliberate actions. However, he did not speak whenever Ben gave him his next order.

_ "Necesito que lleves a estas dos a su casa, de acuerdo?"_

"Si, Senor Solo!" Javier waved the two women over.

This time, the brunette cocked her head to the side. "You're seriously making us leaving? You can't do that!"

"I just did. Have a great day, ladies." Ben replied, staring at Rey over the roof of his car. With a casual shrug, he brushed off the gasp one of the emitted. "Get in the carl, doll."

Bending to his will, Rey snapped her mouth shut and ducked into the vehicle. After closing his door, Ben pushed a button and started the car. He punched the gas a few times and the engine roared, warning the two women still standing behind the vehicle.

Taking him seriously, he stepped back onto the grass and crossed their arms in clear annoyance. Once out of his way, Ben floored the gas, and the sleek Jaguar careened in reverse out of his driveway.

Ben lowered the window and called out to Javier, who was about to get into the limo. _"Sabes en que hotel se esta quedando?"_

_ "Si, en El Real, Senor Solo!"_

"Gracias!" Ben replied. 

With one hand gripped tight around the wheel and the other on the shift stick, he looked over at Rey, smirking.

"Get your seat belt on."

"What did you just ask him, Ben?"

"I asked him what hotel you're staying at. Now get your seat-belt on."

Feeling the tension our off him, Rey pulled the belt over her waist. After it clicked, Ben slammed the gear into first and took off. Dust from the gravel road swamped the rear and sides of the car. Out of the corner of her eye,

Rey watched Ben, his eyes focused on the road, his face painfully impassive at her heart clenched against the long stretch of silence taking gold in the air around them.

Ben turned onto a highway, and adrenaline washed through Rey's veins as he kicked through gears effortlessly. Ripping between slower vehicles, the odometer neared 85mph. Rey tensed, grabbed the handle above her head and looked nervously over at Ben.

"You're going to kill us both!"

"I'm already dead." he answered, clenching his jaw. He gripped the steering wheel tighter and punched the gas again, this time harder.

The force jerked Rey's body back into her seat Now, now she was scared of him. "BEN! Have you lost your mind! Slow down!"

Without even looking at her, Ben cut the wheel hard right and the car fishtailed to a screeching stop on the side of the road. Other drivers blared their horns, flying past Ben and Rey as dust settled around the vehicle. Both heaving for air, their gazes caught each other. Clung.

"I'm already dead." Ben repeated, the words spoken low, but the undertone of anger as clear as the cloudless sky.

As angry as he was at her, like a rubber band, something snapped inside of him as he stared down at Rey's lips. In one sift movement, her reached for her, lifting her over the console and onto his lap.

Rey straddled him, and her breath faltered as she stared at his face, his pain eyes staring back at her. Unable to contain her want, she crashed her mouth to his and gripped the back of his thick hair, her apologizes whipping past her lips as she soaked in his familiar taste with each stroke of her tongue.

"I'm so, so sorry, Ben! I can't take away what I've done to you---to us! I know I can't, but I love you! God, I love you so much!"

Ben squeezed her thighs and slipped his hands under her sundress. Gripping Rey's waist, a groan ripped through his throat when she arched her chest against his. He could feel her hardened nipples through the thin cotton, and he swore he would lose it right there.

Licking fast through her mouth, and trying to savor every moan she expelled at this touch, Ben fought against doubt plaguing his mind.

With one hand still caressing her waist, he took the other and fisted her hair, pulling her down harder to his lips. She moaned and circled her hips, grinding hard against his rising dick.

Her panting breaths echoed in his ears along with the words she'd spoken to him the night of her rehearsal dinner.

"FUCK!" He snarled, tearing his mouth from hers.

Hand still entangled in her wavy curls, he stared at her with narrowed eyes. Before Rey could catch her breath, he swung open the door and slipped out of the car, leaving her on her knees in the driver's seat.

She curled her fingers around the headrest and watched him pace back and forth on the side of the road, both of hands gripping his head.

"FUCKING FUCKERS!" He yelled out again, reaching down to the ground.

Eyes wide and breathing heavy, Rey jerked with sudden fear as he pelted a rock against the back window. The glass split into a cobweb on contact. Without hesitation, he rocketed another against the taillight.

Rey gasped, but with confusion and anger bubbling in her stomach, she hauled her suitcase over the seat and tore out of the car.

She headed away from Ben, tears streaming down her cheeks as she tried to pull the wheeled luggage through the rocks.

"Where the fuck are you going, Rey?!" Ben called, following her.

Without stopping, she flipped him the bird and continued her pursuit into nowhere land. Coming up beside her, Ben grabbed her elbow and spun her around, a lopsided smirk tipping his lips.

"You're in the middle of Mexico, doll! Where are you going to go?"

"And you're a fucking asshole!" She hissed, defiance glittering in her eyes. She wiped her tears away from her face.

"Ahh, still so fucking damn beautiful even when you're mad." He cupped her chin and smoothed the pad of his thumb under her eye. After wiping the smudged mascara from her face, he stepped back and crossed his arms. "And you still love calling me an asshole, huh?"

Throwing her arm out to the side, she stepped forward, her chin jutted up. "What the fuck do you want from me, Ben? I came here to apologize to you! And you act like a damn crazy person! You knew damn well that I didn't marry him, but yet you didn't take any of my calls and you say that you're dead?! I'm dead right now!"

"I am fucking dead, goddammit!" He stepped closer, curled his arm around her waist, and pulled her against his chest. Staring into her watery hazel eyes, he resisted the urge top kiss her again. "You killed me, Rey." he whispered brushing her hair away from her face.

Leaning into her ear, he yanked the suitcase from her hand, his voice in a rather heated whisper. 

"I didn't know that you never went through with it. I thought you were already his. I chucked my phone the night that I came out here, and I haven't read any messages that my fucking housekeeper left for me! I threw each and every single one of them away." He whipped around and headed straight for the car.

"Ben wait!" she called out.

He came to a stop and shook his head, refusing to face her. Inching towards him, Rey swallowed nervously, her head more confused than when she'd first showed up. "What are you trying to say to me?" She asked, taking a cautious step forward. "Say it if you have to, Ben, but I need to know. What are we doing?"

Ben slowly turned round and raked his hands through his black hair. "I honestly don't know what we're going, Rey." He paused, hos gaze shifting between her and the highway. He shook his head again, then brought his attention back to her again. "I don't know what I want right now."

"I've broken us." she whispered, slowing bringing her hand up to her cheek as she stared down at the ground. Trying to catch the breath that'd been stolen from her, she shifted her head. Her eyes locked onto Ben's. "I have...I've broken us."

Ben cupped the back of his neck and stared at her a long moment, his mind fighting against what his heart really wanted.

"Yeah, I think you have." He answered softly. He pulled in a deep breath and turned around. "Come on....I'm taking you back to your hotel."

Rey felt light-headed, felt the blood drain from her face. She knew when she got there he could reject her, but no amount of mental preparation could've prepared her for the loneliness slamming through her.

In a daze, she made her way back to the car and settled into the seat. Barely able to make sense of her emotions, Rey couldn't even look at Ben when he slipped in next to her and stared the engine.

She rested her head against the seat and blankly stared out of the window. With everything in her, she tried to contain herself from breaking out into his hysterics as Ben eased the car back onto the highway.

"How do I know that you're not going to go back to him?" Ben's soft, broken voice cut through the silence. "And what makes you think I can trust that you won't?"

Rey snapped her head over in his direction, her lops parted as she gazed into his eyes. They held so much pain, and it was only then did she realized how badly she'd hurt him. She took a calculated risk and reached out, brushing her fingertips along the dark stubble of his jaw.

She felt him tense, and it stung her heart. She dropped her hand into her lap, and looked down.

"I'm not takin him back, Ben. I love you." she whispered, swiping away a tear that'd trickled down her face.

"You say that now." He dragged his attention from her and brought it back to the road. "So you love me while you're here, Rey. But what about when we get back to New York? What happens when you see him again?"

She cupped her hand over her mouth, and a sob crawled up her throat as she stared at him. "I don't know how to get you to trust me other than giving the chance to prove it to you, Ben...I don't."

Exhaling, Ben gripped the steering wheel and didn't say another word for the remainder of the ride. By the time they pulled up in front of the hotel, Rey wasn't sure if her heart was even still beating.

She wasn't sure if she could move....or breathe. However, she was sure her soul had shattered into a million tiny pieces, scattered somewhere along a highway in Mexico.

With hues of pinks, purples, and oranges replacing the lazy sun disappearing from the sky, Ben slipped from the car and retrieved Rey's luggage. Handing it to the bellboy, Ben reached in for his wallet for a rip and spoke something in Spanish. Rey climbed from the car and walked over to Ben.

Staring up into his eyes, her words softly fell from her mouth.

"Do know how scary it is to want something so bad you're willing to change your whole life for it, Ben?"

Ben searched her face. "You mean like the way I was willing to change mine for you?"

"Yeah. I guess we were both willing to do that, Ben. I was ready to take the plunge with you and never look back. Never. I was ready to risk everything for you, to push away the overwhelming fear I had because I knew you and I were worth it. We fell in love in a second. I was barely able to blink, and you had my entire world upside down. I was so scared that you weren't....real. I was scared that no one would be as magnetic as you are to me. It still scares me. You scare me."

Pausing, Rey shook her head.

"Then I saw Jessika, and all of my fears came back. My heart wanted to believe you, but my head just wouldn't allow it after I'd already taken the risk on us. I'm so sorry, Ben. I don't know what else to say other than I love you and I need you with everything inside of me."

Ben cleared this throat but didn't say a word. Once again unable to resist her want, her need, Rey moved closer, pushed up on her tiptoes, and placed a soft, lingering kiss on Ben's cheek.

She closed her eyes as his heat radiated over her body.

Ben lifted his hands, burrowing his fingers tight around Rey's waist. Rey felt his lips brush against the crown of her head and heard him suck in a steeling breath, but before she could open her eyes, he let go.

With her heart pounding, she watched him duck back into his car then veer out of the parking lot screeching his tires.

Feeling as though, Ben couldn't get away from her quick enough, Rey hugged her stomach, sickened by what she'd done to them. All hope gone and head in a daze, she looked at the bellboy who'd been waiting with her luggage.

Sporting a warm smile, he nodded and left her into the hotel lobby. She followed, her breathing shallow as she tried to gather her thoughts long enough to show the proper ID to the woman seated behind the front desk.

After handing Rey's passport back to her, the young dark-haired woman smiled. "Thank you for choosing the Royal Playa del Carmen, Miss Johnson. Rafael here will show you to your room. The presidential suites are located in a separate building but they're within walking distance."

She slid a phamplet room card across the clay-colored marble counter. 

"Any information about your suite and the amenitires the resort odfers can be found here, or you can call concierfe desk at any time. I hope you enjoy your stay with us!"

"Thank you." Rey turned to Rafael and shook her head. "I don't need any help with my bag, but, thank you."

"Are you sure, senorita? I'm more than happy to help!"

"I'm sure."

He nodded and Rey made her way out o the pristine lobby and into the humid night air. Glancing down at the pamphlet with her room number on it, Rey rounded the corner and followed a cobblestone path to the back of the resort.

A mariachi band in the distance and laughter from vacationers hummed through her ears. She pulled her luggage and tried to drag her diamond of stars above. Envy pierce Rey.

That should've been her, and she'd ruined any chance of having that.

At her building, she slid the room key into the glass door, shuffled into the small lobby area, and slipped into the elevator. With her heart aching for Ben, she wondered why she was even staying the night. She didn't belong here, and she knew it.

Her reason for being there was now gone, lost from her life forever, and there was nothing she could do to change his mind. When the elevator doors slid open, she stepped into a hallway housing six suites.

Scanning the numbers on each, she eventually found hers and swiped her card through the entryway scanner. Rey pushed open the door and flipped on the lights. Pain continued to crush in around her as she made her way through the expansive suite.

Exhausted and mentally spent, she curled her hand around the sleek bamboo of one of the four posters of a king-sized bed. She slid off her heels and dropped them onto the cold marble floor. Feeling depleted--mind, body and soul--she sank down onto the bed and pressed her face into the pillow, a rush of tears falling from her eyes.

He was gone. Her Yankees-loving, bottle-cap-giving, dimpled-smiled other half was gone, and there wasn't anything she wouldn't do now to turn back time. 

However, her time was now up.

**********

Eyes fluttering open, Rey rolled to her side and yawned. For a second, she didn't know where she was. Her gaze caught the clock on the nightstand. It was just past two in the morning. Then reality hit. Unrelenting sadness lashed her as she sat up on the edge of the bed.

Staring around the empty suit, visions of Ben swam in her mind. He clearly wasn't coming back. She sank deeper into a cesspool of pain. She gazed at the clock again before grabbing her luggage and tossing it onto the bed.

After rummaging through it, she padded into the bathroom. Weariness pulled at her, and regret weakened every muscle as she stepped into the shower. Standing there under the hot spray, she decided to leave.

She couldn't stay, even if leaving mean she to spend the night in the airport. 

Though part of her begged her to call a cab, head over to Ben's house, and plead with him to take her back, the other part shielded her from any further hurt. She heaved an exhausted sigh, reached for a towel, and wrapped it around herself.

After blow-drying her hair, she changed into a pair of jean-shorts and a white T-shirt. She tugged her bag from the bed, gave he breathtaking room one last look, and left.

In the hallway, Rey turned and felt her legs buckle. Her eyes locked onto Ben stepping from the elevator. When their gazes caught, Rey tried to swallow, but her throat felt too dry and tight.

She drew a shuddering breath and let it out as he moved slowly toward her. Her heart tripped, stopped and restarted when he came within inches of her. His heady, masculine scent engulfed her.

He gaze zeroed in on her mouth his voice soft. "I started at the ceiling half the night wondering if I could honestly go the rest of my life without kissing these lips ever again."

Ben grazed the pad of his thumb against Rey's mouth. Letting it linger, he traced the bottom lip as well. She parted her lips, desperately trying to remember how to breathe as she stared into his eyes. Ben stepped closer.

"I paced the house when I couldn't sleep, imaging another day of not feeling this body against mine. This body was made to fit me in ever possible way." Ben's fingertips ghosted across her cheek, along the curve of her neck. 

Coiled heat simmered through Rey's stomach as his hand drifted down her shoulder, brushed the side of her torso and finally settled on her waist. He squeezed, and desire jolted up her spine.

Trembling, Rey dropped her head to the side, but Ben found her chin and gently lifted her face. She swallowed back tears and turned her hazel eyes to him.

He rolled his tongue over his lips and took a breath. "The very thought of not seeing your eyes when I wake up or not hearing your heart next to me when you're asleep made me sick. With all of that, I decided no, I can't go another day with you. I don't want to go another day without you." Ben stepped closer, and suddenly, Rey's back was against the wall. "You're mine." he added. "The second you showed up at my place that night, you sealed your fate."

Rey's heart pounded in her chest. He placed his hands on the sides of her head. Damn, he was so hot and she wanted him so badly.

"Do you love me, Rey?"

Her belly knotted, and her breathing suddenly became very shallow. "Yes, I love you." she whispered, staring into his lustful eyes. 

He licked his lips, dropped a hand to the door, and leaned into her ear and whispered. "Do you know that you're mine?"

She then heard the door unlock behind her. "Yes." she breathed.

"Say it." He growled, his lips hovering above hers.

Her nipples beaded. "Yes, Ben, I'm yours."

"Say it again, Rey." He curled his arm around her waist, yanked the bag from her hand, and jacked her tight against his chest. The blistering heat of his body sent Rey's emotions crashing over a cliff. Right now, nothing else mattered. He was here...he had come back.

"God, Ben, I'm yours! Forever! No one else!"

Before Rey could blink, Ben's lips seized hers, the kiss instantly desperate, connected and hungry. Breathing heavily, they plunged their tongues inside each other's mouths as if dying to taste each other completely. Ben flung open the door, dropped her bag, and backed her into the suite.

Gasping, Rey twisted her arms around his neck, her hands gripping at his thick, soft black hair as he started unbuttoning her shorts. He rough them and her panties down her thighs. Wiggling out of them, Rey tore her mouth from his and whipped her T-shirt over her head.

With no hesitation, Rey worked quickly at the buttons of his jeans.

Hands knotted in her hair, Ben yanked her head back and trailed open-mouthed wet kisses down her neck. Somewhere between Rey's bra slithering to the floor, Along with Ben's black shirt and pants, Rey wounded up on her back on a crushed velvet chaise lounge in the middle of the living room.

Standing above her, Ben stared down at the woman he loved, her heart swelling as he watched her waiting....just....for....him. This was better than any present he could ever have received on Christmas morning. His gaze crawled over her body, taking in her succulent pink nipples drawn up tight in her arousal.

So. Damn. Lush. She ran her tongued across that pretty bow of a mouth, swollen from his kisses.

Just looking at her could be his undoing, and he knew it. He knew it the first time that he saw her. He was desperate to be inside her and feel her sweet little pussy wrapped tightly around him like a glove. Running her hands down her legs, she opened wide for him.

Rey let out a dejected sigh, and it was then that a deep, raw, primal thoughts. A sickening need to wipe Poe clear from her mind forever, kicking him in his gut. The first time Rey had shared herself with him, Ben told her there wasn't a part of her body that wouldn't feel him. 

Tonight, he knew he was going to remove every single speck of Poe from her.

Amber-eyes hot with possessiveness and breathing heavily, Ben dropped to his knees, easing Rey's left over his shoulder. Staring down at her, needing to catalog her reaction, Ben tripped two across Rey's clit.

Her moisture seeped, coating his fingers. Before she could release the gasped perched on the tip of her tongue, Ben settled his mouth over her smooth pussy.

Arching her back, her body jerked her nipples budding hard as he speared his tongue in and out her.

Dear God, she couldn't breathe and she didn't want to. Simply lost in the feeling of him, all she wanted to do was drown in his familiarity. His heart crashed over her like a tidal wave as he pushed his fingers in deep and slow.

On a long groan, he curved them upwards, pressing on her core as his tongue stroked, swirled, and flicked tiny circles over her sensitized bud.

"Oh Ben, please, don't stop!" She panted, circling her hips against his mouth. "I'm so close!"

"Shh, I got you, babe." He whispered softly.

And she was close. Body starve-crazed for him, Rey knew it wouldn't take much to bring her there. Not that it ever did with him anyways. All he needed to do was take one good look at her and she'd melt, but the burning wasn't helping the prolonging department.

As if her words sent him into a frenzy, Ben worked his fingers, harder, deeper---their steady rhythm relentless as Rey leaned up and pulled his face against her wetness.

He groaned, and the rich, deep, erotic vibrated, resonating against the sensitive flesh.

Rey came apart. Falling, her body hurtled into orgasm. She tossed her head back, moaned and curled her fingers tightly in his thick mane of hair. Her body convulsed with surges of heat pooling low in her belly.

With her addictive flavor flesh on his tongue, Ben swept her up into his arms and carried her bridal style her towards the bedroom, his mouth plastered to hers. As he inhaled her scent, Ben set her down onto her feet.

Rey watched, entranced, as he slid the briefs from his body. His dick sprung free, and he palmed it, stroking it slowly. She could barely breathe.

Eyes locked onto hers, carnal, fierce with passion, Ben stepped closer, his chest pressed to hers. "I'm going to fuck you right now, Rey. I'm going to bring you so much pleasure you'll never think of walking away from me ever again!"

Conviction rang in his tone, and his primal demand made Rey's pussy weep with dire need.

He closed his eyes, and his head fell back as a groan rumbled up his throat. Bringing his gaze back to hers, he slid two fingers over her clit and gathered her moisture.

He lifted his hand, dragging his fingers across her mouth. Rey parted her lips and released a soft moan as he slipped them in.

She grabbed a hold of his wrist and pinned him with a very saucy stared as she sucked her own juices from his fingers, her teeth lightly grazing his flesh.

"And after I'm finished fucking you, I'm going to make love to you. From the minute my body touched yours, there was never going to be anyone else for me. I'm in love with you, but I have to fuck you first. Do you understand me" He asked.

"Yes." She breathed, reaching down for his cock.

"Say it, baby." He said, his voice ragged.

He delved his hand in her hair, gently massaging his fingers through her soft waves. With the other, he helped her stroke his long, hard length.

"I need to hear you say it before I do."

Pressure rose and heat swelled between Rey's legs. She whimpered, running her tongue along his jaw.

"Please, Ben, I want you to fuck me. Fuck me.._.hard!"_

A feral smile spread across his mouth, hos voice eerily calm as he whispered. "Turn around and don't move until I say so."

Breathless, Rey stared at him as he swiped the tip of her tongue across her lips, her pert nipples hardening against his chest. Slowly, Rey turned around, feeling Ben's hands slide down her waist.

A shiver wound through her as he then grabbed her thigh and lifted her knee onto the bed. Fitting his hips against her ass, Ben bent her over the bed.

He trailed his knuckles down the gracious curve of her spine before he laid his chest over her back. He flicked his tongue against Rey's ear, his senses soaking in her gasp as he pushed the crown of his dick into her drenching opening.

With one hand palming her stomach and the other curled around her neck, he surged into her.

Instantly, her pussy, clamped down, sucking him in deeper. Her quick little breaths and hungry moans set his skin on fire, sent hot lava pulsing through his veins. God, she felt so hot and tight; it was all he could do to restrained his need to get deeper inside of her.

"Tell me how much you love me, Rey!" He groaned, thrusting into her harder.

He dropped his hands to her thighs and clutched them possessively. He pushed deeper, stretching her painfully, though the sensation felt wonderful to Rey.

Then he withdrew completely; leaving her with a raw ache down to her knees. Rey cried out, panting breaths nearly begging.

"I-I love you more than anything, Ben!" She clawed at the sheets and wriggled her ass against him. "Please don't stop! Please, Ben!"

He dragged the tip of his cock through her warm, pressed one scant inch of himself inside her, and then withdrew again. Need flared though Rey, balling in her belly. A giant rush of air filled her lungs.

Her voice trembled. "W-What you doing, Ben?! Oh, my God, Ben, don't you dare stop!"

He tucked his face into the crook of her neck and a brushed a thumb over her nipple, the finger's of his other hand swirling over her clit.

"Tell me that you're mine---_all_ mine!" He spoke the heated whisper into her ear.

Rey flung her head against his chest and moan loudly. "I'm yours! Only yours! Now please....Ben....now fuck me!"


	5. Chapter 5

Ben nipped the back of her shoulder, pressed his palm against her stomach, and thrust very hard inch back into her. Rey tensed and gasped, her pussy clenching him tighter than ever before. His cock throbbed.

Her flesh set fire to his skin as he forged deeper, spreading her wide. 

Pleasure cut through him like a knife as Rey cried out his name, her body heat surging into him with each shallow breath that he took. He rocked into her again, one steady stroke following another, but still, he needed to get even deeper.

He wanted her boneless. her mind completely stared with but thoughts of him, their love. Lifting her other leg onto the bed, he pumped hard and steady into her.

After he pushed her hair away from her sweaty neck, he fisted it and pulled her head back. 

Rey whimpered, her body melting against his. Her lungs whipped in the air hard and fast, her body hummed, feeling deliciously split in two as he moved with ruthless control. Ben branded her neck with his mouth, his tongue laving up and down hungrily.

"Fuck! Tell me again, Rey! Tell me how much you fucking love me, Rey!"

Rey clutched his hair and looked over her shoulder at him, her breath coming in quick pants as she stared into her eyes. It was then she sensed his fear that if he blinked, she would disappear into thing air.

Guilt spilled over her. With that, she stopped moving against him.

Ben immediately stopped, worry filling his face. "Did I hurt, babe?" He grazed his thumb along her lips. "Jesus, baby, I'm so sorry If I did! I would never ever hurt you, Rey! Never!"

She shook her head, straightened, and turned around. "No, Ben, you didn't hurt, and I know that you never would."

She laced her hands around his sweaty neck. Relief crossed his face, and his perfect mouth found hers, his kiss urgent and hungry.

Rey pulled back, her voice soft. "Ben, please stop."

Eyes steeped in sudden confusion, he stepped back from her. "What's wrong? Don't you want this, Rey? Because I know I do."

"I'm not going anywhere, Ben. I'm not." she whispered and reached for his hand, gently guiding him to the bed. "I want you to lay down for me."

With a dark brow raised, his gaze drilled into hers as he did what he asked. Propped up on his elbows, he watched Rey crawl toward him on the bed. Never had he seen a more beautiful sight in his life.

They both sucked in ragged breaths when she sank down onto him. Rey leaned over and brushed her lips against his, soft and gentle. Ben's eyes slid shut, and he gripped her waist.

"No, Ben." She breathed, circling her hips slowly, her body pulsing around his. "Look at me, Ben! I want you to look at me while I make love to you!"

His eyes immediately flew open, and Rey reached for his hands. She drew them up to her breasts. Ben cupped them, his fingers kneading against each one. Body riveted, Ben groaned and pushed up inside her.

He felt Rey tense and clamp down around him. Her slow friction spiraled, blistering through his muscles. Sitting straight up, movements calculated, Rey massaged her hands against his as he continued to caress her breasts.

"These are yours, Ben! Only yours!" 

Arching her back, Rey slithered one hand down her stomach and rubbed her clit. Eyes locked on Ben's lips, bucked slightly faster, her breathing picking up as she continued to thrust hard against him. He was losing conscious of his self being, of his senses completely.

"This is yours! No other man will ever touch this!"

Her voice trembled as a fiery ache shot, tingling through every through every nerve. She watched Ben drag his bottom lip between his teeth, felt his body go rigid.

She reached around and grazed her fingernails under his balls.

Ben broadsided Ben. "You feel so fucking good around me!"

He sucked in a harsh breath, his hands dropping down to her thighs. He gripped them tightly, guiding her body up and sown his cock. Her slick, wet pussy was hot, turning him harder than ever before. 

"I fucking love you, Rey! You're mine!" Bucking his hips up, he thrust her down onto him..._hard_. "Tell me you love me!"

She started riding him faster, harder, her need to get him to understand driving her to the brink of insanity-filled desire. The feel of him of her drugged her system beyond words, beyond any coherent thought.

"Goddamn you, Ben, I love you! I love you so much! I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to do this to us! Don't you understand me?! I'm sorry!"

With tears slipping down her cheeks, she dug her nails into his shoulders and pulled his body flat against her sweat-dampened chest. He buried face against her breast, his mouth sucking and swirling her beaded nipple.

Her body burned hot as she gripped his hair tightly. His neck went taut as a bow, his eyes boring into hers.

"You're all I see! All I hear! All I dream about as I sleep at night! I came here for you and I'm not leaving ever again! I'm not going anywhere! It's you, Ben! Only you!"

She crashed her lips to his, their pounding hearts and short, panting breaths in sync. Ben curled his hands around her nape, his hands fisted in her hair as tight as hers were in his.

The sound of wet flesh smacking together echoed through the room as their orgasms hit.

"F-Fuck!" Ben shouted as he shuddered violently against her, filling her completely and panting her insides white with his cum.

Their every sense attuned to each other like never before. In each of them, fire danced into a violent explosion of pleasure, and every stolen moment, hurtful word, and accusation fell away, disappearing into their bodies.

They were no longer on borrowed time and each of them knew it. Soaked it in. Rey felt Ben's strong arms wrap around her waist, his breathing shallow against her chest. As the sensations liquefying them settled, Ben snagged Rey's gaze as she looked down at him.

Ben smoothed her damp hair away from her face and guided her to his lips. Deep and passionate, slow and gentle, he kissed her. Warmth centered deep in her womb as she moaned into his mouth.

Lying back, Ben pulled Rey on top of her chest. Tenderly gliding his hands up and down her spine, he breathed a huge sigh of relief. For the first time since he'd met her that day in the office, Ben felt relaxed.

Rey was finally....._his._

Other than their sweet breaths staring to calm, the air was filled with the sound of waves crashing in the distance beyond French doors leading to the balcony.

Moonlight bathed the bedroom while Rey listened to the steady rhythm of Ben's heart beating against her ear. The heart she nearly had destroyed. Feeling completely unworthy of him, she dusted kisses across his chest and looked up at him.

"I'm so sorry, Ben." she whispered. "I can't believe that I almost ruined us."

He trailed a finger along her cheek, his brown eyes intense. "I know that you are, and I don't ever to hear you saying it again. We're not ruined. We're better. Understand?"

Nodding, she laid her head back down his chest and clenched his chest. "I didn't think you were coming back. I thought---I thought wanted nothing to do with me when you dropped me off." 

"Well, I always knew that I was coming back. I knew it the moment that I left, actually."

Rey lifted her head, her hooded stare meeting Ben's. "Oh, did you Mr. Solo?"

"Why, of course I did, Miss Johnson." he said with a grin. "I figured I'd let you sweat it out for a little while." A slow smiled then spread across his face at these words as he saw her staring at him, her mouth agape. 

_You got some seriously nerve, Benjamin Organa-Solo! Some serious nerve!_

"Apparently, I made you moan while you sweated it out." He added.

With a pseudopout, she batted his arm playfully. "You're such a wise-ass, Ben!"

"Hey, it's all part of my charm." He chuckled and skimmed his fingers down her back. Pulling her closer, Ben fastened his mouth to hers. Rey's lips went pliant and goose bumps rose over her body. "And you had better get used to it, doll, because you're stuck with this wise-ass."

A stretch of silence filled the room as Ben sank into the sensations of Rey tracing her fingers across his board chest. Her touch tossed him into heaven, yet his thoughts cast him into hell. Guilt hit him and decided to play a little game.

He'd planned on telling her right away about his brief encounter with the woman he'd met a few days before on the beach, bit God help him, he couldn't when he'd first arrived to the hotel.

Seeing Rey in the hallway with her luggage, ready to leave him again, sent his intentions flying out the fucking window. Hell, he knew he had every right to do what he did, but that didn't stop it from weighing heavily on his chest.

Ben cleared his throat and brushed his hands through Rey's hair. He cupped her face, bringing her gaze to his.

"Rey, I have to tell you something."

She blinked, met his stare for a moment, and then laid her head back down on his chest once more. Swallowing, Rey nodded.

"I know that you slept with those two girls." She touched his cheek wit the back of her hand and stared into his eyes. Those beautiful brown eyes, edged by thick dark lashes holding her future. "And I don't care. You thought that I had married, Poe. I know that you wouldn't have if you knew otherwise."

She placed a soft kiss on his lips and nuzzled her face in his neck. Ben caressed her hair and pulled in a deep, slow breath.

"Rey, I didn't sleep with them."

"You didn't?" She asked, shocked evident in her voice as she pulled her head back to look at him.

"No, you thankfully intercepted that train wreck when you showed up unexpectedly---and I will forever be grateful to you for that, otherwise the hole I was digging would have been even bigger."

She let out a sigh of relief at these words. "So you won't have any children running around in Mexico. Thank God for that!"

Ben watched her expression ease, and fuck it if it didn't seize is heart in a single second. Bringing her face closer to his, he ran the pad of his thumb across her swollen lips.

"No. I won't have any children running around in Mexico, because I used protection with someone you didn't intercept." He paused, his eyes searching hers. Rey bit her lip and nodded. "I'm sorry." He whispered, his voice riddled with guilt.

Rey swept her gaze over his face and found nothing but regret in his eyes. Guilt of her own tripped through her stomach, knowing she was the reason for it.

As she searched her mind for a way to free him of his remorse, to show him that it didn't matter to her, a devious smile crept up from the corners of her mouth. Sitting up, she straddled his lap, pinned his hands behind his head, and brushed her lips against his.

Staring at him, she spoke against his mouth. "Ben Solo, I love you so much, it's literally dangerous to us both. You know that?"

He cocked an incredulous brow at her. "Dangerous?"

"Very." She purred, raining kissed along his jawline.

Freeing his hands from her hold, Ben threaded his fingers through her hair. A grin touched his mouth. "Mm, I kind of like this naughty, Rey. You can be as dangerous as you want to be with me."

**********

Rey's stomach rolled with heat as Ben brought her down to his lips. While kissing him, she heard Ben's stomach roll with a growl of hunger. She laughed.

"Ooh is my precious big boy hungry?"

"What?" He asked innocently. He turned on his megawatt smile which always madder her toes curl.

"Okay, I'm not dear Solo." She leaned over and flipped on a lamp. "Either you've caught a bug while here in Mexico or you're hungry." After pulling a menu from the nightstand drawer, she handed it to him. "I'm _praying_ for the latter."

Ben barked out a laugh, and then slowly sobered up. "What the heck is that?" He slid his thumb over her eyebrow and placed the menu back down on the bed.

Rey's stomach plummeted. She felt all kinds of sick as she curled her hand around Ben's wrist, pulling it away from the spot where Poe had hit her. Panic quickly set in, but she covered with up with a fake smile.

"Oh, that? It's nothing! I was at work and I bent over to pick something up from under my desk, and like the klutz I am, I slammed my head against the desk."

Ben sat up, snaked one arm behind her back, and lifted the other to her brow again. He studied it for a second. Something in in Rey's stone didn't sit right with him. He shifted his eyes back to her.

"It happened at work, huh?"

"Yes, Ben." she said, mustering up all the confidence she had left. "My moment of grace happened while I was work. Luckily the place was empty, or I would've been even more embarrassed."

She then puckered the menu back up from the bed and started looking over it. She knew Ben was not an idiot---and she was a terrible liar as already pointed out numerous times by both friends and family alike.

"So handsome, what are you in the mood for? They have everything from burgers to filet mignon." She swung her legs off him, pulled the sheet around her body, and stood to go the bathroom. "Here, just order me a Cesar salad."

Rey flipped on the light switch and closed the door. Leaning against it, she drew in a breath, hoping she's successfully pulled off the lie gnawing at her. This wasn't the way she'd wanted to start off her new beginning with Ben.

Not even close.

Keeping anything from him bit at her conscience. However, visions of Ben going after Poe tightened her chest, and Poe's threats the night of her rehearsal dinner screamed loud in her mind.

With that, she settled the internal battle. She was protecting Ben and wouldn't say a word about what'd happened that morning Rey turned the handle to exit the bathroom. On the other side, she found Ben with his arms crossed, leaning against the doorjamb.

His probing brown eyes made her heart lurch into her throat. Though her nerves skyrocketed, she couldn't keep her gaze from sweeping over his glorious, naked form.

The utter masculine perfection of his solid body had her instantly breathing faster, unconsciously biting down on her lip.

"Y-You startled me!" She pushed up on her tiptoes and planted a kiss on his cheek. "But I've always known you were a stalker."

She feigned playful and draped her arms around his neck, but his stare was all over her, as if he was waiting for her to tell him the truth. All she wanted to do was "fess up", but she wouldn't.

"And speaking of stalker, how did you get a key to the suit?" Rey knew it was a poor attempt at a subject change, but she knew she was grasping for anything to keep Ben's attention away from Poe at this point.

"I called Tim from my house and told him to add my name to the reservation." Ben leaned down and brushed his lips against her forehead. "So, what exactly happened the night you left him? Poe, I mean?"

Rey swallowed back the bile rising in her throat and clenched the sheet to her chest. She looked at him from beneath her long, dark lashes.

"Nothing really happened." 

Ben pulled back, his expression tight with skepticism. "Nothing? You mean to say he just let you walk out the door and he didn't say a word to you?"

She grappled for an answer as she crossed the room. Sinking onto the bed, she slid a stare back at him and shrugged.

"Yes. I left his townhouse after he fell asleep, stopped by your place, and then went back to my apartment. He came over in the morning of the wedding, and got into an argument. In the middle of it, Kaydel and Finn, showed up, and Finn made him leave."

Forehead creased, Ben palmed the back of his neck and stepped closer to her. "And you're telling me that he hasn't bothered you at all since then?"

"No, he hasn't, surprisingly and that's the way I'd like to keep it."

  
One truth she could admit. Shockingly, other than Sarah calling to bitch her out after bailing Poe out of jail, Rey hadn't seen or heard from him since the cops dragged him out of her and Rose's apartment. 

Ben closed the distance between them and knelt down in front of Rey. His hands glided effortlessly under the bed sheets to grip her waist.

"You would tell me if anything bad happened, right?" 

Nearly paralyzed by her lie, Rey struggled against tears. She lifted her hand to his face, cradled his cheek and nodded. "Of course, I would." she whispered.

Rubbing his thumbs in slow circles on her skin, he closed his eyes. "I'm so sorry that I wasn't there when you told him the truth. You shouldn't have had to it on your own. I should have been there for you....with _you_." 

"Ben, no!" She choked out, standing up.

She pulled his face to her stomach. Looking down at him, guilt thudded through her heart as she watched him tenderly kiss her flesh. He clenched her waist, tighter, his mouth becoming more and more urgent. His guilt seared her stomach.

"Please, Ben, I was fine. You thought I had married him! Please, don't do this to yourself!" Rey sank down on his lap and wrapped her legs around his waist.

"I'm so fucking sorry, baby." Ben kissed her deeper as he scooted back against the nightstand. "I shouldn't have left in the first place! We said that we were going to tell him together!"

Rey tore her mouth from his and took his face in her hands. Tears broke loose as she stared deeply in his soft brown eyes. "Please stop!" she begged. 

Heat whipped over her flesh as she fitted his heavily veined dick between her wet folds. A paradox of the worst kind splintered through her as she relished in the feeling of him being inside her.

Blinding and yet still beautiful, in that moment, Ben owned her and she owned him; yet guilt held them both captive, it's chains heavy and exhausting.

Eyes flaring with hunger, Ben's kiss became possessive in nature as he licked into her mouth, taking total domination of her body. His every muscle hardened, tightening his arms around Rey's waist.

He consumed her flesh, pulsing energy colliding with their love and chemistry as he filled her thicker, deeper.

Quickly, with reckless abandon, Rey fell into every sensation Ben bestowed her. His eyes controlled her very soul. His touch filled her inner being. It was then, in that moment, she knew she had remove every speck of guilt from Ben's body. She only prayed that she could.

Sunlight peeked over the horizon and streamed into the bedroom as Ben lay awake, soaking in the sound of Rey's sleeping body lying next to his. She was curled on her side, both hands tucked under the pillow, as his eyes traced every line of her face.

God, she looked so sweet, an angel so beautiful next to him. Wanting to reaching out and touch her, he blew out a breath and resisted the urge, deciding to let her sleep. He watched, mesmerized, his mind replaying the last few weeks as the exhaustion of it all lifted from his chest.

Each complicated, tangled layer they'd started off with immediately disappeared. A smile lifted the corners of his lips as Rey burrowed against him. She let out a sleep sigh and snuggled closer to him, her leg coming up over his thigh. _Fuck!_

He could feel himself getting hard again. All good intention of allowing her to sleep after that were demolished. Gone.

**********

Rolling her naked body into his arms and onto his chest, Ben fused their lips together and held her tight. "I tried, babe. I honestly tried---but damn, you are making me hard again!"

\

A purr of molten hot pleasure crawled up her throat as her eyes fluttered open. Smile on her face, she cocked a brow. "You tried "my ass."

"That ass is officially owned by me?" Ben caressed his hands down her waist, settling it on her ass before giving it a hard smack. "This one? Ah, yes. Yes, this one. Fucking hell, I love this perfect ass."

"Owned? I don't see your name written on it, Solo." Rey playfully questioned.

"Yes.....owned. As in never to be leased to another man for as long as you live. As in I'm the fucking landlord, sweets." He nipped her lip, and she laughed. "I don't normally take checks, but I do accept forms of foreplay and sex as a payment."

Rey filtered her fingers through his hair and shook her head. She wiggled her ass that'd been thoughtfully cupped it in his hands. "I only do wild, hanging-from-a-chandelier-sex."

"Mmm, that's a tough one to beat." Ben git down on his lip, primal satisfaction glassing his eyes. "I'll accept your offer as long as I can rope you to the said chandelier and have my wicked way with you in whatever way that I please."

Giggling, Rey kinked her head to the side. "And who are you supposed to be? Christian Grey or something?"

Hands gliding up her back, a furrow suddenly appeared between his brows. "Who the fuck is Christian Grey?"

Eyes wide, Rey sat up and pinned Ben's hands above is head. She brushed her nose against his. "You have got to be kidding me right now, Solo? You seriously don't know who Christian Grey is?"

"Not a damn clue." Ben craned his head up, catching her mouth to his. "Is she someone you went to school with? Did he fuck you? Was he your boyfriend?" Before Rey could answer him, he gently tugged her lip between his teeth. "Wait a second, you've never been roped up by someone, right?"

"Not, not yet at least." Rey laughed, lacing their fingers. "And no I didn't go to school or fuck a Christian Grey, but I'm pretty sure there's not a single woman on earth who hasn't at least heard of him in some way or form."

Ben then sent Rey another confused look. _Damn, this boy needs to get out more often. _

"Never mind." She sat up, wrapped the satin bedsheet around her body, and slipped off the bed. "I'll explain it to you one day."

"Wait. Where are you going? I hope you're seriously not thinking of showering without me." Wearing a grin, he leaned up on his elbows. "Remember, I'm the landlord here. You need my permission to do anything---sexual or not."

Eyes piqued in humor, Rey watched Ben swing his long legs over the bed and take a ground-eating step toward her. "Cave-man, much?"

Ben didn't reply. Nope. Instead, he swept her off her feet. Slanting his mouth over hers, he kissed her hard, inhaling deeply, as if trying to breathe her into him. He carried Rey into the bathroom and gently sat her down the vanity.

Ben's hard body instantly sent a welcomed shiver up her spine, making her forget about the cold granite under her ass cheeks. Her blood sang, and she felt a blush creep up her neck as he slowly pulled the sheet from her.

His graze trekked over her body before settling on her lips.

"God, you're fucking amazing!" he whispered as he positioned himself between her thighs. Gripping he legs, he drew them apart and wrapped them around his wait. "A real certified fucking wake-up call, doll."

Pleasure to come clouded Rey's mind as she watched him shove his fingers into his mouth. Aching slowly, with his eyes pinned to hers, he pulled them out and trailed them down her stomach.

Goose bumps erupted, dancing all over her skin. The breath left in her as he palmed her pussy and slid his fingers deep inside. A whimper escaped as her as he curled his other hand along the side of her neck and eased her back against the mirror.

"I want you to finger yourself with me." He roughed out, his breathing ragged.

"W-What?" Rey moaned, unable to keep her voice from shaking. "I-I've never---"

"What? Fingered yourself?" He curled his thumb around her clit. "Like never in your life?"

Arching her back against the mirror, Rey started to pant as he thrusted his fingers deeper inside of her warmth. God, if he could he'd let his gingers stay buried in her forever.

"No, I've only ever used a vibrator."

Ben bit down on his lip and closed his eyes. A groan rumbled in his chest as he pumped his fingers in and out, their fluid motion slow and steady. Opening his eyes, he dragged his hand around Rey's neck and reached for her waist. 

Guiding it down between her legs, he placed her fingers over her clit. "No special little vibrator for you today. Rub it for me."

Rey batted her eyelashes shyly but found herself doing what he'd ask. She sucked in a breath as she slid two fingers over her swollen flesh. Lips parted at the multiple sensations, she stared up at Ben and clenched down around his fingers.

With every nerve ending awakening and a burning urge for climax nearly disintegrating her, she moaned as she circled her hips. "Oh my God, Ben!" she breathed, rubbing harder.

Ben stroked himself with his free hand, ruthless aroused flaring in his eyes. "That's right, baby!" He grunted. "Now push them in with mine!"

His demand was so raw and primal, and had Rey surrendering. Sinking two fingers in with his, she trembled and shuddered. Her blood rushed with the force of a freight train, shutting down her thoughts.

The faster Ben stroked himself the faster he worked his fingers inside her. Gazes locked, both of their breathing erratic, their faces twisted in total ecstasy.

"Jesus F'in Christ, your pussy's so perfect, Rey!" Ben's head fell back for a second, a groan pushing up his throat.

Bringing his eyes face to hers, pleasure surfed and seized deep within his balls as Rey sank farther against the mirror. She unwrapped her legs from his waist and planted her feet on the vanity. Completely exposed, she continued to thrust her fingers inside herself with his.

The hard stalk of his dick pulsated in his hand as he watched eyes flutter closed.

"Fuck! I have to taste you!" Ben bit out, his nostrils flaring. "Take your fingers out and rub that hot clit for me!"

Aching for released, Rey gasped and removed her fingers, sliding them over herself. She watched Ben kneel. Clenching her hips, he pulled her ass to the edge of the vanity.

He latched his mouth to her pussy, his tongue laving urgently. Instantly, need grew, magnifying in Rey's core. Tightening her body was totally lost to the passion of the intimate act.

She'd never opened herself like this with anyone, but it felt so natural with Ben Solo. Rubbing herself faster, her breathing grew choppier and then completely stopped.

Ben brushed her fingers out of the way and stroked his tongue over her, pulling her clit into his mouth, nipping, sucking. She melted. She was done.

She gasped a long shock intake of air. "Oh, my God, Ben....I'm.....I'm....cumming!"

She couldn't breathe. Couldn't think straight. Lost tot he sensations crashing all around her, through her system, her body quivered as she reached for Ben's hair, tugging him against her as she rode out the last bit of her climax.

Standing up, Ben continued to stroke himself and grabbed Rey by her nape, pulling her against his lips. He swirled his tongue over hers. The taste of their juices nearly sent him over the edge.

Rey moaned into his mouth, and it was the hottest fucking sound Ben had ever heart. She slid her fingers under his and starting stroking him, her hands gliding in unison along his cock.

Ben surfed his tongue deeper into Rey's mouth and groaned, his entire body tightening as his orgasm whacked through his muscles.

With a loud and gargled snarl, he lifted his hands and fisted Rey's hair as he let her finish him off. As she did.

Every last bit of what he had to give flowed, thick, creamy and white over her fingers, their breathing heavy as Ben ripped his mouth away from hers. He then slumped over and buried his face in the crook from Rey's neck, trying to catch his breath.

A moment later, Ben pulled back and found Rey's gaze, her hazel eyes sated as she leaned forward and kissed his lips.

Soft and gentle, bodies completely relax, they feel deeper in love as they slowly absorbed each other as if in shock that now time....time for once was on their side. Time was practically all they had.

An hour and a long, got shower later, Ben and Rey stepped from the hotel into the afternoon warmth. As they waited for the valet to bring his car around, Rey sent Ben a wide smile that made his heart ache.

Her eyes glowed with happiness, and it things to him that he never imagined.

He moved behind her and draped his strong arms around her stomach. "Thank you, Rey." he whispered against the back of her neck, reaching for her hand. He then brought it up to his mouth and kissed it tenderly.

Rey craned her head towards him, pushed up on her tip-toes, and bushed her lips along his jaw. "No, I think it is I who should be thanking you, Ben."


	6. Chapter 6

Ben smiled and leaned over to kiss her. They both sank into the drugged up feeling that was love until the valet pulled up with the sports car. The driver stepped out and approached Ben.

_ "Muy bonitio carro."_

Reaching for Rey's luggage, Ben looked at her and then back towards the driver. A reverent smile immediately broke out across his face._ "Mu chas gracias! Ademas de esta Hermosa mujer que tengo a mil lado, los carros son mi segunda pasion."_

The man quickly glanced over in Rey's direction, nodding enthusiastically. _"Claro que si, los dos son muy hermosos!"_

Rey looked up at Ben with a confused expression on his face. "So what are you two talking about?"

"Cars and you. My two favorite things in the entire world." Ben shot her a wink as he placed her luggage into the trunk of the car. Rey just shook her head and smiled. Walking over to the driver, Ben dug in his pocket, fished out his wallet, and handed him a tip. _"Gracias de nuevo!"_

The driver nodded his thanks and went to give Ben the keys, but Rey plucked them from his hands. She looked curiously over at Ben and shot him a wink back in his direction.

"So I assumed that you won't mind if one of your favorite things drives your other favorite thing?"

Ben's lips slid into a sexy grin. "It's a stick shift, doll. Do you think you can handle a stick?"

With a little cock of her head, Rey's mouth dropped open. The nerve of this beautiful, gorgeous man, I swear to God---he's the absolute worst sometimes!

"You just automatically assume that I don't know how to drive a stick shift?"

Ben then wrapped his arms around her waist and whispered softly into her ear. "Well, I do know that you've mastered driving a _certain_ type of stick. In fact, you had me spinning all over the damn place last night, if I recall---I think there was even a bit of a gas leak somewhere!"

One eyebrow crept up on Rey's face, and Ben chuckled. He cupped her cheek and kissed the top of her head.

"But, yes, naturally I assumed you didn't know how to drive the other."

"Well." Rey purred, slinking her arms around his shoulders. "One of your favorite things knows hot to drive a stick, and she knows how to drive it very well." She brought his lips down to hers. "Plus, I like to drive pretty fast."

"That's pretty fucking hot." He grazed lips against her ear. "You can drive every stick that I own whenever you want, but I prefer if you drive my _personal_ stick like a bat straight out of hell---"

"Benjamin!" Rey mouthed; her cheeks glowing a bright red. 

Excitement bubbled in Rey's stomach as she turned in her heel and headed for the driver's side. Opening the door, she slipped in and adjusted her seat belt. When Ben sank into his seat, Rey looked over at him, a smirk on her face.

"Now it's my turn to tell you to put you're seat felt on, hot-shot." 

"A dominant woman. I love it." Ben reached for the seat belt on his side. "Just don't get us both killed."

Rey playfully smacked his arm. Keys in hand, she frowned whenever she couldn't find the ignition. _Yeah, you know exactly what you're doing there, don't you, doll? Seeing you getting flustered makes hard as a rock!_

"Um how do I start this thing anyway?"

Ben couldn't hold back his smile as he reached across the dash and tapped a START button to where keys would have been in an ordinary vehicle. "You see you don't know everything do you, doll? You said it, not me and FYI, little Miss Indie 500, the car's already on, and it's a push button. Just push and we're gone, babe." 

"Ass."

Rey rolled her eyes, stepped on the clutch, and eased out of the parking lot. "Don't you make fun of me, wise-ass!"

Her cute, sassy words made Ben chuckle. She was everything---beautiful, sass and all and he was loving every little minute of it!

"This Indie 500 woman's not used to driving expensive car like this one. The one I've owned usually yell at me when I start them up."

Ben's mocked shock, his brow eyes wide. "The literally yell at you? The fucking bastards!"

Glancing in the revier mirror, Rey smiled and nodded over at him. "Actually, they curse me out!" Ben barked out a laugh, and Rey stopped before turning onto the highway. She looked over at him. "How'd you get the window fixed so quickly?"

"Money has it's advantages, sweets." He grinned, curling his fingers the nape of her neck. "Now turn your landlord on and show him what you got, little speed demon."

Rey smiled like the Chesire cat and pulled out and onto the highway. Ben watched soberly as her shaply long legs, belonging to him, moved under her silk sundress each time she pressed down on the clutch.

Her delicate fingers curled around the shift as she glided through the gears.

Her chesnut hair falling in loose curls had him shifting endlessly in his seat. Fuck! He was getting turned on just at the sight of her driving. Heat sliced through his stomach and slid down to his groin.

But hell if she wasn't driving like his own grandmother. He cleared his throat and hit a few buttons on the touchscreen panel to turn on the satellite radio.

"You know you can drive a little bit faster."

Rey sent him a dark, questioning stare at these words. "I'm going the speed limit, thank you very much, sir!"

"And here I thought that you liked to drive fast?" Ben lifted a confused brow in her direction.

"Well, FYI, I only said that so you'd let me drive, considering you fast you drove yesterday, which, scared the living shit out of me, Ben." she shrugged. "And I never speed...ever."

A wicked grin twisted Ben's mouth. He leaned over, rested his hand on he right thigh and pushed down. To add a little fuel to the fire, he caressed her flesh in a low, circular motion. He had her now. Right where he wanted her. 

The car sped up, jolting forward and passing other vehicles.

"God, I feel like I'm Driving Miss Daisy here. You're supposed to be showing this landlord what you've got and so far, you've fallen flat on your ass. It's embarrassing, Rey."

"Ben!" Rey gasped, her eyes wide as she tried to ignore just how enticing his hand felt against her skin. "You literally just told me not to get us both killed, and now you want me to speed?! 

Ben shrugged at this and turned to face the road again. Rey pressed harder against the gas pedal, feeling as though she had to prove herself to him.

"Fine! To our deaths we go then!"

With the sound of Camila Cabello's _"Shameless"_ blaring from the speakers, an unmistakable air of satisfaction crossed Ben's features as he watched the odometer climb.

Hand still resting on her thigh, he propped his feet up on the dashboard and pressed the button to roll the window down.

A rush of warm air flew into the car. He pumped the radio louder. Tapping his other hand on his knee, he looked over at Rey, his sexy smile wider than she'd ever seen.

Rey giggled and started taping the steering wheel in unison along with him.

"Wait! Pull over here!" Ben dropped his legs to the floor. He put his hand over Rey's and threw the fear into neutral. Reaching for the steering wheel, he yanked it hard to the right, and the car rolled onto the side of the road.

Gravel crunched as the car screeched to a complete stop. They were in the middle of nowhere..._..why had he stopped us here? Where the heck are we?_

Confusion peppered Rey's face. "Ben, what are we doing?"

Staring into her eyes, expression serious, Ben didn't answer. Instead, he leaned over the console and gently brushed his lips against hers. Rey closed her eyes and tried to breathe. 

Voice low and his lips on hers. "Get out of the car."

Eyes still closed, Rey sighed when she felt his hand and lips leave her face. With Camila's voice streaming out of the speakers now, she watched breathlessly as Ben ducked out of his seat.

She tried to regain her sudden spoked composure as she followed in suit and slipped from the car. One foot in front of the other, she moved around to where Ben stood. Capturing her gaze, Ben stepped closer, reached for her hand, and slowly swept her against her body.

In the heat of the late-afternoon sun, Rey nearly froze. Ben slid his arm around her waist, took her hand and cradled it to his chest.

"What we doing here, Ben?" She asked him again, nearly breathless.

Ben leaned down and touched his lips to hers. Skimming lightly, they tantalized but didn't quite fulfill her need. Rey's nerves lit up, wild and electric.

He looked deeply into her eyes. "A do-over." he softly replied, rocking them back and forth. He nibbled on her lip, her free hand gripping her waist tightly. "This is where we argued yesterday. I want a do-over so when you think of this road, this is what you'll remember of this moment. Me holding you....you staring into my eyes.... and us....kissing."

Maddeningly, he played with her lips, giving her just a little bit more each time. He rolled his tongue in slow and deep. Rey moaned into mouth, her senses engulfed in the feel of Ben's hand floating down to her hip.

The song on the radio had switched at that precise moment to something older, vintage even.

"Do you know what song this is?" He asked, his eyes pinned to hers as they slowly swayed back and forth to the music. "Better yet, do you even know ho sings it?"

Above the roaring blood rushing through her veins and cars whipping by, Rey registered the sound of Etta James's sultry voice. It purred from the speakers of the opened car's doors.

"At Last, by Etta James." Rey stared into his eyes as he pulled her even closer.

"Very good, Miss Johnson." He crooned against her. "Have you been studying jazz in my absence?"

Rey swallowed and shook her head. "My....my grandmother used to---"

Ben covered her mouth with his. Her parted her lips and slid his tongue in, groaning as he brought both hands to cup her cheeks. He dominated the kiss, his tongue plunging, caressing, and dancing over hers. He probed her ravenously as if he couldn't get enough.

Rey's breath caught. Her womb clenched. Feeling like a delicate flower against his chest, she went languid. Her body melted into his.

Heat built between them, and his love and devotion surrounded her with warmth and passion beyond words.

"I love you, Rey." Ben whispered, slowly breaking the kiss. Still cupping her cheeks, he dipped his head and leaned his forehead against hers. "I want to break all the rules with you. Kiss you passionately every day. Make you smile when you're about cry. I want no regrets between us. I want us to laugh together until we can't breathe and it hurts. No other man will ever love you the way that I'm going to love you, Rey. You're it for me. My last. My forever."

Breath completely stolen, a lump formed in Rey's throat. "I-I honestly don't know what to say." she whispered, tears missing her eyes. "You breathe life into me, and I love you in more ways that I thought I was even capable of loving someone, but you're more than I feel I deserve."

"No, I'm what you deserve." Ben ducked his head, kissing her head. "You deserve a man who remembers your grandmother used to listen while she cooked."

Rey's heart skidded. "You really remember me telling you that?"

Ben grinned against her mouth. "I remember everything you told me----the good, and the bad and the in between." He smoothed his hands through her hair. "I'm seriously going to break you, Rey Johnson. I'm going to break you down and slowly build you back up. Second by second, piece by piece, and memory by memory. I'm going to make you realize you're worth and what I'm going to give you. If I have to open a dictionary every single day and make you stare at the word 'worth', then by God, I'll do it."

Ben pulled her even closer and chuckled as he stared longingly into her soft, hazel eyes. He was going to make her under every word and feel every inch of this promise.

"Hell, I'll even paste a damn picture of myself next to it if I have to."

Rey sniffled and let out a light giggle. "A glamorous picture of you, huh?"

"Yeah. A glamorous picture of me." Ben tightened his hold, his strong arms cradling her as he leaned into her ear. He grazed his lips along the shell. "I can even make it a nude one if you really insist."

Resting her cheek against his chest, Rey smiled. "What am I going to do with you, Benjamin Solo, I swear?"

He looked down at her, and Rey met his gaze. Expression softening, Ben angled his lips above hers, his searching her face. "Well, you could always move in with me."

Rey pulled in a breath went to speak, but hesitated. Anxiety rained down upon herm and her pulse leapt. She touched her jaw, her hazel eyes staring at him with shock. "What did you just say?"

He cupped his hand over hers. "You heard me, Rey. I want you to move in with me. Look, I know it's---"

"Crazy!" She interrupted.

Ben's hands found the curve of her neck. "Yeah, you're right it's crazy and it's quick. It's also dangerous, reckless, and highly intoxicating." Ben paused, drawing her face closer to his. "But it's also what makes us so perfect. It's what made us since the moment we met. Move in with me, Rey. Stay crazy, dangerous, reckless and intoxicating in love with me as I am with you. Don't think about it, just do it, waking up by my side every morning."

Rey dropped her graze to the ground and nibbled on her thumbnail. The whole idea was more than intoxicating. God, everything about Ben bled her dry of anything negative.

However, her uncertainty of whether or not she could truly make him happy hammered through her thoughts. It was enough he'd taken her back, trusting her again with his whole heart, but something inside her screamed that she'd never be able to fulfill what he needed.

"I don't know, Ben." Rey said, looking up at him cautiously. "Let's see what it's like when we get back to New York. Give it some time, maybe."

A slow smile smeared across Ben's face, and without warning, he picked up Rey, hauling her delicate body over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. "Rey Johnson, are you really asking me to wait longer than I already have?"

"Benjamin Solo, are you fucking insane?!" She gasped, curling her fists into the back of his T-shirt.

"I'm the one asking the questions here, doll." Chucking, Ben strolled over to his car and set Rey down on the hood. She gasped again and immediately jumped off. "What?!" He questioned.

Eyes wide, Rey swiped the hair away from her face. She frowned. "The hood literally just burnt my ass!"

Ben smirked and then pulled his black T-shirt over his head. He then spread it out across the hood, picked Rey back up, and set her down on top of it again. "And here I was thinking that your ass couldn't get any hotter. Apparently, I was wrong."

Smirk holding steady, even as Rey stared at him as though he had ten heads, he shimmed between her legs. Leaning in, he softly kissed her on the lips.

"Is that any better for you? If not, I can take also take off my shorts to give that sweet little ass of yours an added cushion." He then started unbuckling his belt. 

"Okay, you really are crazy, Solo!" Rey reached for his hands, her eyes skirting over every ripple of his abs. "Certainly, crazy."

Ben then lifted a single brow and added. "Crazy and madly in love with you." he replied, slowly leaning in again to kiss her again. Sliding his arm around her waist, he pulled her close. "Hook'em."

"What?" Rey breathed, her head tilting of it's own accord as Ben ghosted his mouth down her jaw. 

"I meant your legs." He said, draping her arms around his broad shoulders. "Hook'em around my waist."

Rey flushed. "Benjamin Organa-Solo we're on the side of a highway here!"

"I know. It's kind of kinky, right?" With a wide smile, he didn't wait for her to o as he asked. He took it upon himself, curling his hands around her calves, and wrapping them tight around his waist. "Ahh, there we go!"

Noticeably embarrassed, Rey bit her lip, her gaze shifting to the highway of speeding cars. Ben laughed when her eyes widened as a car flew by, honking, with a passenger whistling out if the window.

Ben lifted his hand from one of her calves and placed a finger under a chin. He brought her attention back to him.

His eyes scanned over her lush, berry-colored lips, his pulse automatically thudding. "Come on, move in with me, Rey. Fuck, we fell in love like this....let's just crash the rest of the way."

Staring into the sea of his amber eyes, Rey swallowed and clenched her hands around his bare shoulders. Ben leaned in closer, brushing his lips against hers.

"I can't promising you'll it'll always be sweet and tender because you and I fight pretty hard and when push comes to shove--we got at it like wolves. But I'm pretty sure it won't a be horror ride, either, because you and I love even harder. But what I can promise you is you'll always mean more to me than my next breath, and it'll always be you in my life. No one else."

In that moment, everything Rey ever feared fell away, disappeared, muted along with every sound in the background except for her and Ben's breathing. Her heart, which, was so empty just days before, felt as if it was about to bust at the seams.

Pulling him closer, she nodded, the smile on her face rising in succession with tears falling from her eyes.

"Okay, Mr. Solo. Let's crash."

Matching her smile, a hint of surprise flashed in Ben's eyes as he pressed his lips to hers. "Really? Y-You'll move in with me?!"

"Yes!" Rey giggled against his lips. "Really, let's fucking crash!"

With his infamous smirk, Ben swept Rey off the good. She squealed, her feet dangling over his arms. She couldn't even begin to imagine or know just how happy she had just made him, but Rey figured the way he was holding her made it apparently.

He was overjoyed, thrilled, happy---happier than he had ever been in a long time.

"Well, that was pretty easy. I figured you'd fight me a little bit more. It was my super sexy strip tease, am I right? I've been known to be one damn good-looking son of a bitch from time to time."

"Yes, Ben." She replied simply, but the hilarity in her eyes was tangible. "It was totally the trip tease that did me in. Lord, help me."

Ben sank his lips to Rey's, and it was there on a long stretch of highway in Mexico he knew wholeheartedly they would get their do-over.

**********

Rey looked up from her desk to the clock on the wall. "One minute left."

At exactly five o'clock, to be exact, Rey stood and began gathering her items into her satchel, excited to be going home after a long exhausting day full of meetings, important phone calls and even more meetings on top of that. 

She'd barely turned the corner when she ran smack into her co-workers, Laura Fitzgerald, whom had just started working for Naboo Inc. a week prior.

"Ah, just who I was looking for. Listen, a few friend and mine and I were thinking of going out tonight." The tall, leggy brunette smiled, her blue eyes wide with excitement. "Webster Hall's having a ladies night this evening! Do you want to come? Brooke, Cary, Angela and Belinda are going. Look, I know it's a Thursday, but you only live once, right?"

Clubbing assumption correction, Rey smiled and continued making her way past the front office. "Oh, as much as I'd really love to, I can't. I'm going to out to have dinner with my boyfriend tonight." Rey shrugged into her coat. "Rain check? How about next week?"

Laura frowned, then realization crossed her features. She raised a plucked-to-perfection brow, a curious grin sliding across her lips. "The new boyfriend you keep talking about?"

Smiling, Rey nodded and made a show of checking her watch. Wanting to pick up something to wear for the evening, she'd planned on trekking a few blocks to a small boutique Rose had showed her a few weeks ago.

Still needing to stop at the post office to drop off a change of address, she knew she'd be pressed for time to get ready. 

"Maybe swing by after dinner?" Laura asked hopefully, keeping pace with Rey as she pushed through the double front doors. 

"Yeah, maybe. I'll text you later." 

AS they stepped out into the frigid, mid-December air, Rey wrapped her scarf around her neck. "I do have some reports to finish. If I can get those done early enough, I'll come out for a while."

"Shit!" Laura exclaimed, turning back into the building. "I completely forgot my keys! All right, well that sounds like a plan. We'll be there after ten."

Rey waved and watched Laura disappeared into the building. After sliding on her gloves, she stared down the stairs. The parking lot had most emptied. A winter breeze plucked at the hem of her pencil skirt as she reached for her purse for the forms she needed to give to the post office.

Her heart fluttered when she glanced down at Ben's address. Still afraid that they were possible moving way too fast, Rey soaked in the fact that whenever Ben looked at her, his eyes moved over her face as though memorizing every line and curve.

He'd easily led her through the maze of conflict they'd found themselves in with love and determination she'd never experienced.

In difficult conversations, he'd mentally held her hand as through keeping her from falling off a cliff. He soothed her, loved her, and admired every flaw she had. But above everything, he'd never given up on her.

Two magnets drawn together from the beginning, even when she'd threatened to tear them apart, Ben was the one who kept them together. Rey simply cemented their fate when she showed up unexpectedly in Mexico.

A trip she'd certainly never ever forget. 

Sighing with warmth from a future filled with the unknown, but one she was sure would bring them to where she and Ben needed to be, Rey's stomach instantly fell away when she heard Poe's voice calling out her name.

Her pulse pounded, the sound of it loud in her ears. A small gasp left her lips as her eyes widened with fear, her vision suddenly filling with darkness in the bright, late-afternoon sun.

She shivered and turned slowly around in his direction. Arms crossed, leaning against the hood of his car, he stood across the street, his eyes pinned to hers. Without a second thought, Rey immediately pulled her phone out of her purse.

"What are you going to do, Rey? Call the fucking cops?!" He yelled, his voice stinging through the air like a hive of angry bees. "I'm more than a hundred feet away from you, and I'm not on Naboo property."

Rey didn't even look up, nor she answer him. She opened up her phone, her fingers trembling as she began dialing 911. When the dispatcher came on the line, Rey heard Poe laugh.

"911. What's the nature of your emergency?" the female operator asked.

"Yes, I need an officer at Hamilton and Stone Avenues." Rey stammered nervously.

Her eyes snapped between Poe and the half-empty parking lot. Poe just shook his head, his smile maliciously bemused as he strolled across the street, both hands tucked in his pants pockets.

Unable to move, terror chained Rey to the ground as she watched him step onto the sidewalk. Panic beaded in her stomach. 

"I'm on the parking lot of Naboo Inc. I have an order of protection against my ex-fiancé, and he's here right now!"

"What's your name, Miss?" the dispatcher questioned. Her tone was so insanely calm, it scared Rey. Staring over at Poe, Rey swallowed, her words stuck in her throat. She didn't answer. "Miss? Are you still there?! I need your name, please!"

With each uneven breath Rey took and memories warning her, Poe's whispered threats pulsated through her thoughts.

_You'll force me to hurt you both....both....._

She had pure, honest, and good with Ben, and she completely understood the evil in Poe more so. She had happiness beyond comprehension and loathed the misery she'd once allowed. She had pleasure and no longer endured pain.

Though she felt as if she couldn't breathe and a clamor of nerves danced in her gut, the desire to no longer remain his prisoner, or allow him to hurt Ben, overtook her. She stepped forward, her shaky legs leading her straight in Poe's direction. 

Standing just beyond the chain-link fence surrounding the parking lot, Poe cocked his head to the side. He sent her a shark's smile, all teeth. "I'll repeat it for you, so maybe you'll understand this time. I'm not on the property, I'm on the fucking sidewalk. I may not have measuring tape with me, but I'm good at math. I'm still more than a hundred feet away."

"The cops are coming, Poe." She meant her words to sound strong, but somehow Rey sensed he knew they weren't. "You'll be arrested--you know that right?"

"I fucking loved you, and you've actually managed to make me fucking hate you!" He growled, his dark eyes liquid poison. "How could you fucking do this to me?! I took care of you and you fucking embarrass me the way you did!"

"You think you took care of me?!" Shocked, Rey stared at him, her tone sharpening. "You know what? I take all of that back! For a while, you had me convinced you were taking care of me, but you had me fooled! You knew what I went through as a child! All the things that I saw! You promised me you'd never turn into those men, and you did! I just didn't realize it when it started happening! You used my parent's death's against me! You knew that I was vulnerable, and you ate it up! That's not love, Poe! That's sick and twisted! And just a bit of information for you, Poe! Love's not being embarrassed at what happened! Love's being heartbroken over the way things ended between us!"

"You honestly don't think I'm fucking hurt here?!" He went to step forward, but he stopped.

"No!" Rey answered, her temper now rising. "I don't think you're hurt one damn bit about this or what happened between us! I think your ego's just bruised! You never loved me. Never!"

Fists balled at his sides, he clenched his teeth. "I did love you, but then you went and fucked my best friend behind my back!" 

Rey felt that all-too-familiar sense of fear creeping back in. _Should I run? Should I call Ben? Fuck, what do I do?! Do I wait for the cops to come?!_ She fought against it as she continued to stare at the man who'd once meant everything to her before he tore them apart with his violent nature.

"And just a bit of information for you, I didn't use your parent's deaths against _you_! You fell the fuck apart, and I didn't know how to fucking deal with! I did the best that I could....for _you_!"

"Did you really think that I wasn't going to fall apart, Poe?!" Rey choked back a sob. "They were my parents, Poe! MY parents!"

Poe shrugged, a wicked chuckle flying past his lips. "Your relationship with them was strained anyways. Give me a fucking break!"

Rey's eyes went wide, her pulse thudding wildly inside her chest. "And what does that have anything to do with it?! Strained or not, they were all I knew!" Rey paused, unable to believe that the monster he'd hidden beneath a camouflage of good for so long. "You're such a fake! A chameleon! Where, in that shallow heart of yours, did you ever conjure up the ability to do what you did for them before they died?! Please, tell me, because even I can't begin to understand it!"

"Well, neither can I." Another shrug as his darkened eyes stare deep into hers. "As fucked up as they both were, they honestly didn't deserve my help! Now wonder you gave up on them right before they died! Even you knew what a mess their marriage was! You couldn't help them even if you tried! Or should I say--didn't want to help them!"

Even though she knew he was continuing his rampage to hurt her, Rey's world stopped, anger coiling deep inside her veins.

"Go to hell, Poe!" she hissed. "You're cut from your mother's evil flesh! It's more than obvious you enjoyed being in jail because you're about to go back! And this time, it'll be longer than just a few days! I only wish they could drag her with you for giving birth to such an arrogant asshole!"

"Fuck off, whore!" He growled. "I'm not going back to jail! I know my rights and my limits!" he leisurely rocked back and forth on his heels. "Again, I'm on the sidewalk, and there's not a fucking thing you can do about it, Rey! Not-one-fucking-thing!"

He looked down the block at a group of teenagers crossing over street and brought his eyes back to hers again, the malice in them pinning her as his main target.

"That is....unless you want to give Benny boy a call and tell him that I'm here." Pausing, he shook his head and laughed. "Now, that would definitely be some fun for me to have. I'll go back to jail, sure---but I'll enjoy every single second it---knowing you had to watch me beat his ass to a fucking pulp right here on this very sidewalk! That'd be worth a few nights of my freedom for sure!"

As though he'd turned on a switch inside of her head, something inside her shifted, something words alone couldn't describe. She clenched her canvas bag, her fingers digging into her palm.

She then made her voice sound unaffected though she felt anything but.

"That's right, Poe, idle threats. That's something you've always been good at." She cocked a brow, feigning disinterest. "You can barely draw blood! I, out of anyone, would know that. Right?"

She lifted her hand, rubbing the still rather tender spot just above her lips where he had hit her.

"Just so you know, it barely stung. My co-workers can throw a better punch."

"You fucking cunt!" Came his retort, the words spewing out of him as they tasted of acid. Being mindful to stay on his side of the sidewalk, he inclined his head and spat at her.

It's didn't reach, but Rey didn't dodge it either. She stayed as still as stone. Her breath rattled in her throat as she stared up at him, her heart thumping. A man's voice behind her caught her attention.

Stepping back, she watched as police officer eased from a patrol car, the casualness of his stride unnerving. Hands on his hips, deep lines gouged his face as he approached the on-edge pair.

"Hey, what's going on here, folks?"

Rey shoved her hand into her purse, pulling out her court order documents and began presenting them to the officer on duty. "I have an order of protection against---"

"Nothing, officer." Poe said. "She's wasting your time and quite frankly, mine as well." He then shot Rey a glare, and yanked his wallet from his back pocket. "Here's my PBA card." He then passed the card through the fence. "My uncle's been a detective at the Brooklyn North narcotics division in Bed-Study for the past twenty years."

The officer looked it over for a few minutes. He then nodded, a smile lifting his across his mouth. "Well, would you look at that." He then slid the Patrolmen's Benevolent Association card back through the fence. "I bet he knows Anthony Armenio." 

"Yes, I grew up with his son Anthony Jr. and his daughter, Anna." Poe looked onto Rey's eyes, his stare just as cold as he slipped the card back into his wallet. "My uncle used to bring me down to the---"

"Excuse me!" Rey interrupted, shoving the court documents into the officer's hands. "I really hate to interfere with this friendly conversation, but he's clearly violated an order or protection from the courthouse!"

"I haven't _violated_ anything!" Poe argued, a smirk pulling casually at his lips.

Patience long since depleted, Rey snapped her head up in Poe's direction. "Yes, you have! You're not supposed to even fucking be here!"

"Hey, hey!" The cop warned as he glared over at Rey. "You need to calm down there, Miss, or I will have to restrain you!"

"I will not calm down, officer!" Rey rebuked, flicking her eyes to his badge. "It's your job to keep him away from me, Officer McManus!" She stepped back and crossed her arms, looking like she could spit fire at any given moment. "Please, do the job my tax dollars pay for, and take a look at the order!"

With a lift of his brow, the cop rubbed his chin. Aggravation danced over his features, but nonetheless, he tore his stare from Rey's.

Looking down at the papers in his hand, and appearing to be in no hurry. he casually began flipping through then. "I'm afraid he hasn't violated this order, Miss Johnson." 

He slowly handed the papers back to Rey, who stood there with her mouth hanging open. Was this officer being for real or was he really just that plain stupid? What did he mean that Poe wasn't violating anything? He was literally stalling her!

"As far as I can tell, you may have violated the order, though."

"WHAT?!" Rey questioned angrily, her eyes wide. "How did I violate the order?! He showed up at my place of employment!"

"Actually, no, he didn't." The cop corrected, pulling out a small pad from his back pocket. As he began scribbling on it, Rey looked over at Poe. He sent her a very smug smile. "It says that Mr. Dameron can't step foot on Naboo Inc. property." the cop continued, his white hair flowing in the frigid air.

He then ripped the small piece of paper from the pad and then handed it to her. _What the hell?! So much for the meaning to serve and protect---he just wrote me a fucking ticket?!_

"As far as I can tell, he hasn't at least. He's right outside the property on a sidewalk owned by the city of New York. I'm wondering, though, as to why _you're_ so close to the fence. Now, unless, Mr. Dameron here has come kind of magical powers that make you float across the parking lot, you willingly approached _him._"

Rey opened her mouth to argue, but the cop immediately stopped her by holding up his hand to silence her. As far as he was concerned, this conversation was over and had been, indeed a waste of his time.

"That paper you're holding in your hands it's a warning. You get another one of those, and your order of protection will be rescinded."

The cop didn't say anymore. He turned on his heel, heading for his patrol car. Once he settled into his seat, he lowered the window and smiled back at the pair standing on opposite sides of the metal fence.

"Although, Mr. Dameron, I'm going to sit here until you leave, but I'm starving so you had best make it quick."

Smirking, Poe nodded at the officer and turned towards Rey one last time. Keeping his voice low, he dug his hands onto his pockets and slowly began backing away from her.

"I never make idle threats, Rey. Just remember that."

As Poe did an about-face, crossing the street and slipping into his Mercedes, the fear Rey was trying to removed prickled across her skin. It anchored her, seeding deeper than ever before.

Clenching the paper she so easily assumed signified her protection, Rey watched Poe and the officer both drive away.

The cocoon of her past unraveled right before her very eyes. However, a beautiful butterfly didn't spring free.

Instead, an emotionally unhealthy woman was left standing in the parking lot alone, her delusional thought that she would be all right a distant blur. There would never be reprieve from Poe's mayhem.

A machine had replaced his heart somewhere along the way, and she knew in that very second, she would never truly be safe from him.


	7. Chapter 7

"HEY! You can't just walk up in here like that!" Rose said as she rose up from the couch. She placed both her hands on her hips, a playful smile breaking out across her face. "You're no longer a resident, and besides I was just having sex in the middle of the living room."

"I moved out three days ago." Rey looked at her with a raised brow. "And you're having sex by yourself, fully clothed?"

Rise shrugged her shoulders. "I have my mysterious ways."

Rey dumped her belongings on the foyer table. She slid off her coat, walked into the kitchen, and grabbed a can of soda from the refrigerator. "You literally have no idea what just happened while I was leaving work!" She said, taking a seat at the kitchen table.

Rose squinted and studied her best friend's face for a moment. "Okay, I've seen this expression way too many times before. Please, for the love of God, don't tell me that you and Ben are already having problems!"

She then plopped down on a chair across from Rey, a smug look upon her face.

"If so, I swear, I'm writing you both off. Besides, you two already have made plans to spend Christmas at his family's house! Surely, you're not going to fuck up the holidays."

"No, Ben and I are just fine." Shaking her head, Rey's nerves caught again. "Poe came by the office today."

"Um you called the police, right?!" Rose asked, impatient. "He's back in jail, right?! Please, tell me the fuck-turd is back in jail, Rey!"

"No. Unfortunately, he's not. But I did call the police, and the asshole who showed up to check my documents from court said that_ I_ was in the wrong, not Poe."

For once, Rose seemed almost speechless. Well....almost. "WHAT?! I don't understand this! How the hell could you be in the wrong here?! That makes no fucking sense whatsoever! The order's supposed to protect you, not him!"

Rey sighed. "I walked over to where he was standing behind the fence."

Rose's eyes then went wide at these words. "Why the hell would you even attempt getting that close to him?! You already know what he's capable of, Rey! If Dickward's showing up at your office, who knows what he planned on doing?"

"Maybe that's whole point, Rose. Maybe for just a second, I didn't want him having all the power to make me afraid of what he would do to me."

Rose blew out a puff of air and crossed her arms. Leaning back, she peered through the kitchen window and tucked a strand of her shiny black hair behind her ear.

"You know you have to tell Ben about this, right? He deserves to know about this."

"I know he does." Rey's stomach lurched, but withholding the truth from Ben was no longer an option. She had to tell him. "We had plans to go out to dinner tonight, but I sent him a text and told him that I didn't feel all that well. I'll tell him everything when I get home."

With a weary smile, Rose then reached for Rey's hand. "I'm thinking you'd better stop off at the liquor store and pick up a few bottles of wine on your way. It might ease the reaction when you do tell him."

Snorting, Rey stood up. "Right. Ben drunk when I tell him won't make the situation any better, I'm afraid. If anything, he'll be even more pissed off."

"I didn't mean him, Rey. I meant you." Rose said, shrugging. "You're the one who's going to need a few glasses. He's going to bug the fuck out, but I'm sure you already knew this."

She did. Anxiety settled over Rey, but before she could dwell on what she was about to face, a flutter of movement in the hallway caught her gaze. "Hey, uh...Finn, here?"

Rose bit down on her lip and shook her head.

"Hux?"

"Eww, no, what the fuck, Rey?!" said Rose, shaking her head with disgust.

Rey's forehead crinkled about the same time as Finn sauntered into the living room, sporting nothing more than Rose's finest pink cotton towel and holding a can of whipped cream.

"Uh, huh---Finn's not here, huh?" Rey questioned, folding her arms. "Do I even want to know what's going on here?"

"Nope." Finn answered. 

He went to turn around, but Rose swiftly made her way over to him. She stood on her tiptoes, placed a luscious, lingering kiss on his lips, and linked her arm around his. Dragging Mr. Fluffy Pink Towel into the kitchen, Rose smiled. "We were having a little fun with the whipped cream before you arrived."

"I can see that." said Rey, doing her best not to laugh as Finn kept turning his head away from the embarrassment of being caught-red handed. "Well, I had better go. I have some running around to do."

Rey pulled on her jacket and slung her purse over her shoulder, a smile toying on her lips as she and Rose made their way towards the front door of the apartment

"So, when did you and Finn decide to spice up your sex lives or has this been going on without my knowledge?"

Rose shrugged. "Hey, just because I don't always share everything that I do with my man in the bedroom---and besides, who doesn't swallowing dick when it's got an extra bit of sweetness to it."

"Ugh, Rose!"

Rose gave her a satisfied smile and added. "You'll see what I mean, eventually. That is if you ever feel brave enough that chow down on that big boy of yours big dick!" Opening the door, her features softened. "Call me tonight, and let me know how things went, okay?"

Rey nodded, reality coming fast into view. "I will." She stared at Rose for a moment before her eyes swept over the home she once shared with her best friend. "I love you, Rose!"

"Love you, too."

As she stepped back into the hallway, leaving her past behind her, Rey felt a surge of unease about her future. But nonetheless, she knew she had to face it. No longer hiding and slowly beginning to change, nothing would chain her to herself...but herself.

And this....this she wouldn't allow.

The fresh smell of garlic bread coated the air as Rey opened the door to the penthouse. Nervousness raced up her arms when Ben came into view, but it instantly faded as he started toward her, his smile slow and deliciously sexy.

His gaze slid lazily over her as he pulled into his welcoming arms. "Hey, babe. Are you feeling any better, or do I need to play doctor tonight?" He smoothed his hand down the side of her waist. "Although the latter could be very fulfilling for us both, I'd rather you be healthy."

Butterflies swarmed Rey's stomach. "Well, I'm sure it'd be more than fulfilling if it's coming from you." she replied, her eyes trained on the mouth she so desperately wanted to kiss.

Giving into the temptation, she edged up on her tiptoes and did just that. She lingered in the moment when his lips melted over hers. 

"Mm, I take it that you are feeling better then." He said, backing her out of the foyer and into the living room. 

Lips still locked, he slipped her purse from her shoulder and dropped it onto a moving box behind the couch with her name labeled on the front that said: REY's CLOTHES!

"But don't think you're getting off the hook so easily. I have a whole doctor set up in my office, complete with stethoscope and white thigh-highs for those pretty long legs of yours."

Rey immediately reared her head back at these words, her curiosity swimming in her eyes. "Are you being serious right now, Ben?"

"No, but uh, I can make a really quick run down to Kiki de Montparnasse on Greene Street to pick you out something naughty for the occasion if you insist."

Rey giggled. "Did you just speak in French?"

Ben smiled, his dimple deepening in his cheeks. "Why yes...as a matter of fact, I speak it rather fluently. I am many of many talents. I have a very talented tongue." He brushed his lips over hers, teasing lightly. "But that's not something you wouldn't already know. I just love the thought of you in white thigh-highs, but I have to admit something---I really prefer you in black attire."

"And here yet I was thinking that you preferred me naked." Another giggle as Ben suddenly groaned.

Tilting her head as he worked his lips against her neck, Rey noticed the water was about to bubble over a pot on the stove. 

"It's boiling." Rey breathed huskily.

The sensation of his mouth caressing her collarbone sent shivers of pleasure up her spine._ God, can I just rip all of your clothes off and coerce you into taking me into bed now, Solo?! I need this--I need you!_

"I'm sure it is. I've always had that effect on you." Ben's deep baritone voice vibrated over Rey's skin as he stared unbuttoning her blouse. "Just remember one thing, I do things to your body no one else can."

Though utterly and completely turned on, Rey couldn't help but burst out laughing. Ben looked adorably confused by this sudden outburst, but in that moment, all of her nervousness hit her at once, and she couldn't stop.

Brows drawn together, Ben sent her a questioning stare. His hands fell away from her blouse as she continued her hysterics.

"What? What's so funny?" His moth quirked into a half-smile. "I know I'm not a pro, but I thought those were pretty good pick-up lines."

Rey placed her hand on his chest. "I was talking about the water on the stove, Ben. Do you really think I would use the word boiling to describe what you do to my body?

Ben blinked. "Is this some sort of attempt to make me feel better? Because if it is, you're failing miserably."

Rey then playfully pursed her lips, threading her fingers through his thick, black hair. "Aww, did I bruise my man's ego there? I'm so sorry."

"In more ways than one." He admitted. Like fire, the raw hunger igniting his features, devoured her whole. He leaned into her ear, his voice in a slow whisper. "But don't worry, doll, my retaliation will be your wonderful undoing."

His promise slid over Rey like fine silk. A shiver prickled her flesh as he feathered his mouth across her jaw, her muscles coiling, taut and hot with desire. Wrapping his hand around nape, Ben crushed his lips to hers.

Leaving her nearly breathless, he ranged his fingers into her hair, his kiss intense, and just as quickly backed away. As she tried to recover from the delicious blow of his overly skilled tactics, Rey heard him stifling a laugh. He wandered back into the kitchen.

Half in a daze, she slumped onto the leather couch, slipped off her heels, and discarded them on the marble floor.

"Rey." Ben called out.

Still dizzy from his intoxicating kiss, she swallowed hard and took a deep breath.

"Ben."

"I just made your body_ boil_, sweets." He pointed out with a raised brow and a smirk on his face. "Would it be safe for me to say that I'll achieve the same results once I have your naked body pinned beneath mine later tonight?"

Knowing the man staring back at her was nothing short of enthralling, exhilarating, powerful, and all consuming, Rey found herself simply nodding. His words had wiped her clear of her own thoughts.

He grinned that sexy grin that'd caught her off guard from day one and made his way into the kitchen. He opened a box of pasta and tossed the noodles into the pot of scalding water. Steam drifted up, wreathing around him.

He then flipped on the other burner, drizzled a touch of olive oil into a pan, and layered a few pieces of chicken breast coated with flour into it. After washing his hands, he grabbed two plates from the cabinet.

Sitting back, Rey took in the way he maneuvered around the space with ease considering how tall and big he was. He had this shit down pat.

A real-life Emeril, but one who was completely hot and undoubtedly worked out. Considering he sat behind desk all day long, there was no other way that his body stayed magnificently in shape.

Her eyes traced the faded jeans hanging perfectly over his trim waist. She watched soberly as his muscles flexed with every movement underneath a black T-shirt. He was so casual yet so powerful.

She wondered if he even knew how much she loved him--seeing him so at peace with the world, with their relationship. 

Since her extent of cooking knowledge went no further than ramen noodles or a box of mac-n-cheese, Rey knew she had some catching up to do in the culinary arts department.

Considering Ben had a private chef prepare most of his meals, she found it rather amusing he even knew what he was doing. However, this wouldn't be the first time something Ben did or said shocked her.

A warm feeling of comfort spilled through her. Poe had never, not once, cooked for them. They'd always gone out to dinner or ordered take out. Not that she didn't enjoy being spoiled to some extent, bit she loved the small things Ben did.

Somehow, as she watched Ben pull out a bottle of white wine from the refrigerator and pour each of them a glass, she knew that he was going to fill her life with countless small things that would equate to more than anything any other man would ever give her.

For a brief second, she smiled. Then reality of what their romantic evening would consist of attacked her never again. She cringed, regretting that she’d lied to him. Swallowing, she took a deep breath and rose to her feet. She moved into the kitchen and came up behind Ben at the stove. 

She circled her arms around his waist, stood on her tiptoes, and perched her chin on his shoulder. Even without heels this was rather difficult. He was six-foot three and she was having trouble keeping balance. 

“I didn’t know that you cooked. You just keep getting sexier and sexier by the minute, Benjamin Solo.”

At this, he chuckled. “Wait a minute. I thought I was shmexy?” He forked a piece of pasta out of the pot and reached back to feed it to Rey. 

She took it in the mouth. “Shmexy?” she asked, chewing and clearly confused. “Is that your take on the word, Solo?”

Turning, Ben lifted a brow, amusement growing in his eyes. “No, doll. It’s yours after you’ve had too much to drink.” He then placed a kiss on the crown of her head. “And I think it’s very shmexy by the way.” 

She stared up at him and smiled. "I literally have no idea what you're talking about, but I'm just going to go along with it."

"Smart woman." he said, corner of his mouth crooked upward again. "Now go and take a seat, shmexy. Everything should be ready in a few minutes."

"Shmexy." Rey laughed. "Well, what can I help you with, Mr. Shmexy?"

"You can bring this to the table." Ben plucked a basket of garlic bread from the kitchen counter. "And you can let me watch your fine ass take it all the way there."

"That's it?" She asked. Walking away, she set it down on the table. "You mean there's nothing else that I can do for you?"

Grinning, Ben leaned against the counter and crossed his arms. "How can you manage to make such a simple, yet innocent question sound so incredibly sexual, Miss Johnson?"

Wearing a grin of her own, Rey placed her hands on her hips. "Maybe it's a gift?"

Ben bit down on his kip and moved towards her. Standing inches from her body, he whispered in her ear. "Can I unwrap it, then? Like shred that shiny wrapping to bits?"

Rey drew in a shuddering breath at the feel of his soft voice so close to her. "We have to eat first, hot-shot."

"You see? You just did it again, Miss Johnson." He lifted his hand to her neck. Massaging his fingers into her hair, his eyes glassed over with a want Rey couldn't mistake. "You know how much I love eating....dessert."

Heat curled through Rey, settling in the pit of her stomach. God, he made himself nearly irresistible. Blowing out the breath that she had been holding, she shook her head at him.

"You, sir, really need to learn how to control yourself."

Trying to exercise her own self-control, but more concerned about the dramatic turn the conversation was about to take, Rey backed away and settled into her chair.

With slight shock growing in his eyes, Ben watched her for a second and then turned his attention back tot he stove.

"You deplete me of any self-control that I've ever had." He strained the pasta and poured some tomato sauce on it. "But...you know this already."

Truth. There it was smashed right in her face. Rey knew that he wouldn't be able to control himself around her, and although she felt the very same way on so many levels, in that moment, she couldn't stomach the fact that he wanted her.

She couldn't stomach it herself. Her question hit the air before she could think about it.

"Why, Ben?" She looked up from the table. "Why would even choose someone like me? You could have any woman you practically wanted. So why me?"

Turning, Ben drew his brows together. "Why wouldn't I want you, Rey? You're practically everything that I've ever wanted in a partner."

***********

She lifted her shoulder in a casual shrug. "Because there's absolutely nothing to me, if I'm being honest. I'm so weak in so many ways, and you....you're so strong." Rey paused, sifting uncomfortably in her seat. "Nothing about me at all fits what you or deserve."

Ben stood perfectly still, his stare hard and unwavering. "Why are you saying this all of sudden? Did something happen today?"

"I can list more reasons why you shouldn't want me, Ben." Another shrug as she stared over at him.

"You listen to me, I don't want you listing ant more ridiculous bullshit reasons as to why you think that I shouldn't want you." He then moved to her, completely unknowing as to where all of this coming from.

Reaching fir her hand, he gently pulled her up from the hair. His brown eyes danced over her face.

"Do you want me to list the reasons why I need you, Rey? Because that's what you are to me. You're a need. Not a want. And I need you in my life, Rey--more than you know."

Tears welling in her yes, and lips trembling, Rey shook her head and started to speak, but Ben cut her off. He cupped her cheeks, drawing her face closer to his.

"I'm not exactly sure if you'll ever fully understand, but I told you that I need you more than I need my next breath. Since the day we first met, from the second that I laid eyes on you, there's never been anyone else worth taking up as much fucking space in my mind as you."

He stroked his thumbs along her plump lips, laying his own against her forehead and kissing her tenderly.

"God created me to love you and vice versa. Let me heal the cracks in your heart. I'm certain that this broke woman didn't exist before Poe Dameron came along. I refuse to believe that."

Love over lies. Trust over mistrust. Heart breaking swelling, Rey pulled in a slow, deep, breath. She had to tell him. And she had to tell him..._.now._

"I-I lied to you, Ben." she croaked, wiping tears from her eyes.

Ben swallowed a sudden feeling of unease, slowly dropping his hands from her face. "Wait....what? What did you lie to me about, babe?"

His gaze burned into Rey, making her take a step back. Mind in complete turmoil and unable to breath, nausea hit her with a pounding brutal force.

Cupping her hand over her mouth, Rey bolted towards the bathroom, nearly tripping over moving boxes that were scattered throughout the penthouse.

"Rey!" Ben called out, immediately following her.

She reached the bathroom, slammed the door shut, and locked it. Hunched over the toilet, she dry heaved repeatedly. Her stomach had been void of any food over the last several hours, so nothing came up. Ben banged hard on the door, worry evident in the tone of his voice.

"Rey, let me in!"

Another vicious lurch plowed through her stomach. She shook her head and stared back into the toilet once more. God, how could she have kept this from him? From the man that she loved more than her own life?

"I...I just need another second, Ben."

"No, Rey." He retorted, now jiggling the handle. "Open the damn door, now!"

Though she heard the concern in his voice, she also heard authority, and she didn't put it past him to break in if she didn't do what asked of her. Straightening, Rey drew in a large gulp of air and inched herself over to the door.

With so many emotions pummeling through her, she couldn't decipher if she was coming or going. Rey glassed over, she swung open the door. Her words belted out from her mouth before Ben even had a chance to speak.

"Did you know that one in three women will wind up in a mentally or abusive relationship?"

Though his muscles tensed immediately, and the blood raced within his veins, Ben stared back at her wordlessly. 

Sniffling, Rey nodded. "But the funny pat is, it doesn't start off that way. It starts off as all relationships should---it's wonderful, as close to everything you imagined something solid should be. Then little by little the relationships begins to change, and you find yourself wondering if you're going crazy. You literally start to question your own sanity. One minute the person that you're in love with is kind...and...and caring, and then the next, they're flipping out and blaming you for it. The first few times you tend to write it off, assuming they're just having a bad or something, but then it comes a regular pattern of behavior. The person on the receiving end isn't oblivious to it but they of course start blaming themselves."

With his entire body on high alert, Ben clenched his jaw and tried to school his tone. In a low whisper, he reached out to her and brushed his fingers gently across her cheek and stared helplessly into her eyes.

"Rey, did Poe lay his hands on you?"

Shaking uncontrollably, Rey swallowed the lump in her throat. "Did you also know that mental abuse can make a victim feel other things like depression, anxiety, helplessness, nonexistent self-worth, and despair? But that doesn't matter because your feelings don't even count, and you don't realize that they never will. Sometimes the abuser makes you think that they count. Then you're back to think that you're the one who belongs in an institution, not them. But on the norm, your needs and feelings, if you actually have the fucking courage to express them--and most women don't--are ignored, ridiculed, minimized, and dismissed. You're told that you're too demanding, or that there's something wrong with you! Basically, you're denied of the right to feel....anything."

Crying hysterically now, Rey started for the living room. Sitting down on the couch, she stared up at Ben as he walked carefully into the room, his eyes wide and pinned to hers.

He could hardly believe as to what he was hearing---and seeing her in so much pain, made him want to punch a hole in the wall. Poe would pay dear for this---he would pay with his own blood.

"Sometimes you distance yourself from friends or loved ones. Sometimes you're not even allowed to have friends. Though you've given this person your heart and soul, their behavior becomes so erratic, it's as if you feel like you're walking on landmines. But you continue to love them unconditionally because they weren't like this when you first met, so it only seems obvious that it's your fault. Then--there's the hysterical part and just how twisted this whole thing becomes---you start making all these excuses for their inexcusable behavior in a an effort to convince yourself that it's normal. In an actual, damn effort to convince yourself, you're the one who's made them become the monster they've turned into."

Heart pounding, Ben slowly knelt down in front of her. Anger-filled electricity zipped through his nerves as he reached for her hands, lacing his fingers with hers. _God, baby, what happened--tell me! Just fucking tell me what that bastard did to you!_

"For Christ's sake, Rey, just tell me what he did to you!"

With tears now streaming down her face, Rey started laughing. This only frightened Ben even more and made his blood boil over, hot. Fuck, the second he got his hands on Poe, it would be the last thing he ever saw. EVER!

"Wait, Ben, you haven't heard the best part. Here's the kicker! A couple of ladies' from an organization fighting against domestic abuse once told me that I allowed this all to happen because, "I'm a product of my own environment", I mean, really how cliched is that? Did I also ever tell you about my parents and their horrible marriage? Did I ever tell you that my father slept with his own accountant while my mother was continuing to purse other asshole who were just like him?"

Wanting to rip the answer out of her, Ben simply shook his head. Rey had never opened up to him like this, and he knew he needed to let her speak. He continued to squeeze her hand as his chest constricted with every unsteady breath that she took.

"Well, that's how their marriage was for as long as I could remember. They both equally unhappy and only stayed together to prevent upsetting me, but I was no idiot. I could straight through all of their lies! I get that staying together must have been really bard for them. I do. But they definitely had a thing for picking up local drunks at the nearest bar in order to help pay the month's fucking rent. That's what they did--the fucked other people for money just so we could get by! They'd help for a while before they bounced, but those things never came without a price. My mother in particular, with the guys she brought him, she'd let them smack her around a bit if dinner wasn't cooked by the time they walked in the door, or if the house wasn't clean by the time they kicked off their dirty shoes. They all looked different, but they came from the same mold. Each and every single one of them of was cut from the same piece of abusive wax. And my father was no different with his partners either!"

Shaking her head, Rey squeezed Ben's hand this time for comfort and felt him tightening his grip. He never left her side---he wasn't going to. Not now, not ever. He would remain at her side, loving her, giving her everything both her parents and Poe could not---or in this case,_ would_ not.

_I love you, Rey! Fuck, baby, why did this happen?! I'll never be like them---never!_

"So, those women told me witnessing my parent's weakness drove my own, and my mother watching her own father beat my grandmother was what drove hers. It's a family pattern apparently. They told me that I was raised thinking that it was all okay for a man to do that to a woman. I was raised thinking self-worth was gained by catering to a man's needs at whatever cost. Even it mean degrading myself time and time again. But the apple can fall from the tree. Fifty percent of children who grow up seeing that will never walk in their partner's footsteps, whether it's a boy watching his father beat his mother or a young girl watcher her own mother get hit. But this apple landed practically on the tree's stump, Ben. This apple too the same path as her mother did."

Pausing, Rey looked at her hands that were tangled around Ben's. When she brought her equally pained gaze up to meet his, it was all she could do to get out the last remaining bit of her words. 

"They also told me that because I physically fought back against Poe on the day of our "supposed" wedding, I'd finally broken the cycle."

And there it was. The question answered right before him. The question Ben already knew the answer to. His stomach completely bottomed out. Feeling his face go pale, he slowly rose to his feet again as blades if wrath sliced through his chest.

Blood. He wanted Poe's blood dripping from his hands, and he wanted it now.

"I'll fucking kill him." He murmured breathlessly.

Rey surged to her feet, her legs shaky. "No! Don't! Please, don't do it, Ben!" She whispered, staring into his venom-filled eyes. Bringing her hands up to his cheeks, her whole body trembled with his. "Listen, I'm here with you, Ben! I'm fine!"

Silence fell, it's presence suffocating as she watched Ben try to control his features. It wasn't working very well, though. She could clearly see that he was about explode. 

"I-I didn't tell you before because I just don't want to see you getting hurt! I don't want you getting into trouble or going through any more than you already have! Please, Ben, please don't hate me for lying to you! God, please, don't!"

Ben, however was no damn fool. He had known she had lied to him that night they had rekindled their relationship. Something deep within his gut had told him that she did. However, another part tricked him into believing her.

Ben gave her a look of confusion, a scowl marring his face.

I could never ever hate you, Rey. I love you. Do you believe me when I say that?!"

Rey nodded, tears trickling down both sides of her cheeks. Of course, she believed him! Of course, she did, but that still didn't take away the pain of the feeling that she lied to protect the man she loved--_-how could I have done that to him? To us?!_

"And you were seriously worried about me?!"

"Yes." she admittedly faintly. "I-I have to protect you from him, from all of this! I caused everything bad that's happened!"

"You wanted to protect me after everything he fucking did to you!" He asked, the exasperation in his tone cutting through the air. Ben lifted his hands to her face, his eyes boring into hers. "My God, Rey, you did not cause any of this, do you understand me?! You did nothing wrong, but you cant's ask me not to do anything to him."

"Please, Ben!" she cried out loud. Her screams piercing the air around them as she did her best to stay on both her two feet.

Gritting his teeth, Ben turned away from her, fuming. "No, Rey. Don't!"

Fear immediately shot through Rey's stomach as she watched him yank his keys off from the counter. As she moved towards him, her mind on fire with images of what he was about to do, Rey broke out into hysterics she never thought was possible.

She'd cried many times throughout her life, but nothing held a candle to what her tiny frame was producing at this very moment. She couldn't breathe, couldn't think.

Legs feeling as though she were trudging through mud, she barely made her way across the penthouse. Rey curled her fingers around the back of Ben's arm as he was about to open the front door.

Ben turned, his expression fierce, his stare ranking over her face.

"You're asking me not to be a man, Rey, and I can't fucking do that! I can't! He fucking hurt you! You're mine, and if I didn't leave right now and take care of this, this wouldn't have happened! Don't ask me not to make this right in the only way that I fucking know how." 

Breath seized and heart disintegrating from the notion he blamed himself, Rey hesitated a moment before lifting her hands to his face. Stroking his jaw, she shook her head, her voice in a low breathless whisper.

"Ben Solo, you're more of a man than any man that I've ever known. You're gentle. You're kind. You're strong and exceptionally witty. You're personable and warm, any you have the ability where you can reduce females blithering puddles of goo with the simplest of words."

Dragging her fingers from her jaws, she trailed them down to his broad chest; feeling the rapid beating of his heart against the palm of her hand.

"You have a heart that you wear on your sleeve, and you couldn't do a thing to make me fall even more in love with you than I already am. Not a single thing." Pressing up on her tiptoes, she experienced a bout of nerves as she twined her hands behind his neck, bringing his face down to hers. "And you're not to blame for any of this."

Struggling against the fury burning a hole in his stomach, Ben leaned his forehead against hers. "No, Rey. If I didn't leave right now---"

"And If I hadn't taken him back."

"No, he shouldn't have fucking touched you like that!" he breathed, trying to contain his inner rage. "It's not the same thing!"

"I know it's not. But you want to know what is?" Ben placed his hand on her hip, his dingers digging into her side as he looked away. "If you walk out that door and go after him, then you're no different than any other man that I've come across. Please, I'm begging you, don't take this man away from me, Ben. Please!"

**********

Damn it all to hell! The look in her puffy hazel eyes, combined with the soft plea falling from her lips, had Ben feeling as though he was backed up against a wall. His mind was fucked, completely bulldozed by her words.

Torn between the need to beat Poe within inches of life for hurting the woman he loved, and not wanting to drag Rey through any more shit, tension bristled deep within Ben.

She'd bled herself out to him, burrowing her hurt and painful memories beneath his skin. Before this, she'd seemed unreachable, but today, she drowned every fear she had into a sea of trust Ben knew only he possessed.

But for fuck's sake, he wouldn't be able to escape his own hostility if he let Poe get away with what he'd done to her. Every male instinct in Ben screamed to demolish the man who had hurt the woman he loved more than life itself.

The woman who was his. Utterly….fucking....screwed. Stuck in his own dark thoughts, Ben clenched his jaw until it ached. Staring into the eyes of the woman he knew he couldn't live without, he made a decision he hoped wouldn't haunt every waking hour of the rest of his life.

"Okay, I won't after him." He cringed when the words slipped from his mouth. "I promise you I won't. But you're telling me where he hit you. Do you understand me? I-I need to know for my own sanity."

Rey could see the reluctance in his eyes, but sincerity rang true in his voice. Rey released a breath and nodded tightly.

"Yes, I promise!" she cried.

Ben's chest twisted at the slice of pain in her voice. Holding her hand gently, he led her back into the kitchen where he shut off the burner holding the seared-to-a-crisp chicken.

Ben could feel the way Rey's grip tightened when, a moment later, he made his way into the bedroom with her. Staring at each other, they stood silently, as if neither of them knew what to say to one another.

Trying to wipe all traces of anger from his features, Ben looped his arms around her waist and pulled her tight against his body. Heat radiated between them and within seconds, she was limp in his hold, her tears coming hard and faster.

He nuzzled his nose in her hair, pulling in the sweet smell of her shampoo, as he attempted to prepare himself for what she was about to tell him.

His brain couldn't come close to computing hoe anyone could think of hurting her. She was fragile. Loving. Vulnerable.

With all his possessions, Ben knew that her touch was all he had that was true....pure. Poe had methodically unpeeled her layer by layer, exposing the parts of her no woman should have to bare.

In that moment, Ben feared that he would break his promise about not going after the sick fuck. With each passing second she came undone in his arms; Ben was becoming perilously closer to losing any semblance of control.

When Rey's cries dulled to a low hum, and her breathing slowed to a normal pace again, Ben gently tipped up her chin. Understanding flashed in his eyes.

"Are you okay?"

Rey wiped her nose. "I am now. Are you okay, Ben?"

No, he wasn't. Not even close. In fact, he was pissed beyond recognition. He was unhinged. But wanting to keep her as calm as possible. Ben then slowly nodded. "God, you haven't even eaten yet." Letting out an exhausted sigh, he slanted a hand through Rey's dark hair. "Are you still hungry?"

"No." She whispered. "Not, anymore."

And she wasn't. Still feeling as though she could throw up, food was the very last thing on her mind at the moment. All she wanted was Ben. Ben Solo and the comfort he always seemed to bring her. 

"Okay. I'm going to toss some water on my face." He then lowered his mouth to her lips and kissed her softly. "I'll be right out."

Rey nodded and watched him disappear into the bathroom. After he closed the door, she inhaled deeply in an attempt to ebb the tension from her body. It clearly wasn't working.

She didn't want to give Ben details about that morning he would walk out the door and put Poe straight into his grave. Hell, rehashing it could be the very last devastating blow to his sanity. It was bad enough she could see that he was fighting his instinct to leave and go after Poe.

This could definitely send him over the edge. She yanked herself from her evil thoughts and rummaged through a few moving boxes still holding some of her belongings.

Searching for a pair of pajamas, she came across a picture of her mother and father from a trip to Santa Cruz many years earlier. Forced smiles doused the photo. Those small pieces of reprieve had served as a silver of good among the chaos consuming their lives, but that's all they were.

As she started at it, Rey choked back tears, knowing she was about to shed enough for the evening. She shoved the memory underneath a pile of sweaters.

By the time she'd slipped out of her work clothes and into a pair of sweatpants and a T-shirt, Ben reemerged from the bathroom. He had stripped down to nothing but a pair black boxer shorts, his face angrier than a few minutes before.

Rey watched him sink down onto the edge of the bed. Something in the set of his body alarmed her. It was as if the few minutes that he had to himself had turned him into one huge combustible ball of pissed-off alpha male.

Rey swallowed nervously and crawled onto the bed. God, all she wanted to do was soothe him from the battle of knew he was fighting. Coming up behind him, she placed her hand on his shoulders and massaged, trying to remove the tension tumbling off him in hot waves.

She chose her words carefully; fearing anything more would set him off. "Ben." Rey began her voice soft. "Why don't we just go to sleep? We're both mentally shot right now. We can talk about this tomorrow."

Without answering, Ben shook his head. After rolling his neck, he leveraged himself back against the pillows tucked up along the headboard. Sitting on her knees, Rey turned and stared at Ben.

Shadows of cold hostility danced on his face and all it did was make her feel guilty for not allowing him to do what she knew he so desperately wanted. She slowly moved her eyes from his, unable to witness his pain any longer.

"Look at me, Rey." He commanded in a tortured whisper.

Her gaze flickered back to his. Ben sensed her nervousness, her hesitation, and fuck if it didn't mess with his thoughts.

"Come here." He said, holding out his hand to her.

She reached for it, and he guided her to his side. Nuzzling against him, Rey rest her head against his chest. Though tension of her own poured from her body, the tantalizing aroma of his cologne and the steady thumping of his heart calmed her and brought her mind tp a place where she felt safe.

His hand drifting up an down her back eased her further into a cave of euphoria that only Ben Solo could provide.

"Tell me where did he hit you?"

She knew that it was coming, but his question still elicited a full, bone-deep shiver, pulling her right from those few seconds of calm. Curled into a tight ball and molded to him, Rey lifted her head and looking in his searching copper-amber eyes.

She brought up her hand and pointed to the spot above her brow, which only a few days before, she had first questioned her about. The spot where she had lied about to the man she loved. The man that she needed to trust her. Rey felt his body go taunt with tension.

Like an inferno, anger blazed in his eyes. Rey watched the muscle in his jaw tick as he gazed down at her. Other than Ben's increased breathing, silence hung in the air, weighing heavily on Rey's heart.

"I'm okay, Ben." she whisper, feigning reassurance. 


	8. Chapter 8

Ben seethed. The need to wipe Poe from the face of the earth seeded itself in every cell, tendon, and muscle in his body. However, the need to comfort Rey pulled at him as he forced his composure to remain intact.

Gently, he lifted her on top of him, straddling her legs over his hips. He could feel her shaking and it wracked through his head. It fucked with him....bad.

Staring at the tiny scar, he brushed his thumb across it. Though barely noticeable, just knowing how it got there gutted Ben beyond words.

How could a man, a true man with any balls, that is, do that to a woman? It was something Ben couldn't even begin to process. Leaning up, he circled one arm around her waist as he wrapped his free hand around the back of her neck and guided her face down to his.

For a second, he stared deep into her eyes before grazing his lips across the mark that would forever brand her beautiful face. A brand placed there by an asshole who'd never deserved her. 

"Where else did he hit you, Rey?" Ben flicked his dark eyes to hers.

He realized he was setting himself up for more self-inflicted pain, but a part of him needed to put himself through it. Rey had suffered far worse than he has. Or not.

That was a question he definitely wouldn't answer because this was a suffering he'd never had to endure.

"My lip." Rey softly answered, watching Ben's eyes turn suddenly fierce. 

She immediately froze. Ben cringed, fighting back the compulsion to trip out of the house and beat the ever-living-shit out of Poe.

"You lip." He stated calmly, once again trying to school his tone. "He hit your fucking lip!?!"

Hesitantly, Rey nodded. Watching her beautiful lips tremble, Ben caught a whisper of her perfume. In that moment, all he could think about was rebranding those lips. He pulled her down to his mouth hard and fast.

Rey let out a soft whimper as their tongues met, hot and wet. His kiss was desperate, urgent, and devouring. Though his possessiveness took her by surprise, she knew he was stamping her.

She knew it, and she didn't care because she wanted him to. She needed this from him, and she knew he needed to mark her in return. She tangled her fingers in his hair, tugging hard as her heart sank.

"I just can't believe he fucking hurt you, baby." Ben breathed. "I'll only ever worship these lips of yours! I'll only ever worship this heavenly, beautiful body!" 

Gripping the back of her neck tighter, Ben deepened his kiss as he explored every inch of her mouth.

"When I look at you, Rey, I feel like I'm looking at the other half of myself. You've filled the empty space in my soul, and because of that, you're a fucking goddess to me! That's the way I'm always going to treat you! For the rest of your life! I can promise you that! I fucking promise!"

Rey kissed him that much harder after that heartfelt confession. His words tattooed themselves in her heart; his kiss nearly depleted her of air she didn't want in her lungs. She only wanted to breathe him in.

"Let me remind you just how much I plan to make that promise come true!"

As Ben pulled Rey's T-shirt over her head he knew those promises would be easy to keep. He'd rather burn in the lowest pits of hell than go back on his word because she was a goddess in his life. His lover. His best friend. His forever. 

But damn him into those flaming pits of hell, as he began to rebrand his lover, he knew there was one promise that he wouldn't be able to keep because he would do everything in his power to protect her until the day he died. The most fucked-up part, and God help him....

He couldn't wait to break it.

“Hey, Ben, would you go ahead and answer Mr. Rosendale’s question in regarding our approach?”

Without warning, Tim’s deep voice intruder on Ben’s thoughts, wicked, evil thoughts that’d consumed him over the last sixteen hours, since Rey had explained what Poe had done to her.

Sitting in a meeting, surrounded by executives representing one of the country’s leading pharmaceutical giants—one in dire need of a massive advertising campaign—Ben knew he should be paying extra close attention. But he wasn’t. 

His woeks bad has been turned completely upside down, his heart ripped clean open. There weren’t adequate words that could possibly convey his mental state of mind on this late Friday morning. His sleep-deprived state of mind, that is.

In the darkness, Ben had stared at the ceiling as he held Rey in his arms. Listening to her soft breathing, wide awake with adrenaline pumping through his veins, Ben attempted to purge visions of Poe hurting her.

No matter how hard he tried, it didn't work. His brained fucked with him. The insistent clatter of wanting to feel Poe's blood on his hands screamed loud in his ears.

He had seethed until the sun rose, Ben would've never thought it was possible that Rey's soft body, intertwined with his, couldn't bring him down from the cliff of murderous destruction from which he was eagerly waiting to jump.

Last night had proved that though holding her dampened some of the anger boiling under his skin, Rey couldn't extinguish the fame fueling it.

Tim repeated his earlier request, yanking Ben to the present. He lifted his heavy head and settled his eyes on his boss. Tim stared at him with a look of confusion shadowing his face.

Ben rummaged through the paperwork in the front of him. When he heard one of the four gentlemen seated across from him clear his throat, Ben broke the silence.

He shook his head and glanced back at Tim. "No, I'm afraid that I can't answer the question." He tossed the stack of papers onto the conference table. "Why don't you go ahead and give them the information, Tim." 

It wasn't a polite request but more of a statement that said: _now is not really the time to fuck with me._ The eldest man's face went gray, its color mimicking his hair. Once again, silenced cloaked the room.

Brows clenched together in what Ben easily recognized as aggravation; Tim cleared his throat. He dragged his stare away from Ben and focused on the impatient executives sitting around him.

"I do apologize, gentleman. It appears that my assistant here woke up the wrong side of the bed this morning." Tim gave a casual shrug, a smirk tipping the corner of his mouth. He shot Ben a sideways glance, humor replacing his aggravation. "Clearly, he must have gotten laid last night."

Within a few seconds, the table erupted in an orchestra of chuckles, none of which included Ben. Though he wanted to bitch-slap the hell out of Tim for the catty remark, he was rather impressed by the asshole's quick-witted response.

Tim had always had a knack for it, and Ben had to admit it smoothed over the tension in the office. Ben mirrored the stupid smirk on his assistant's face as he leaned bac in his chair, rubbing a tired hand over his chin.

He flicked his attention to the clock on the wall, ignoring the bullshit spiel Tim was working over the group in an attempt to gain one of the largest accounts First Order Holdings could acquire. Money was the furthest thing from Ben's mind as he noted the time.

Eleven fifteen. 

A little over an hour until he had to meet up with Rey for lunch. Before falling asleep last night, she'd sweetly suggested a quiet lunch at a small café in Battery Park since she was getting off work early that day. Ben knew that she was just trying to calm his nerves.

That was one of the many things that he loved about her---the way she evened him out. And God, he fucking loved her. He'd give up everything he had for her. Travel across the world at the drop of a hat if she insisted.

There wasn't a limit he could reach for a line he wouldn't cross in order to make her happy. Now, he just needed to convince her she was worthy of every single bit of it.

A moment later, Ben's thoughts were interrupted yet again as the group of men suddenly rose from their seats, each sporting a satisfactory smile. Ben stood and regarded Tim with amusement. He was looking at Ben with a smug grin.

Ben knew that was his way of letting him know he'd landed the account without his help, and Ben was pretty damn sure that Tim was going to word-vomit his displeasure with him once they all left the conference room. Ben couldn't really give a flying fuck.

"That sounds like a game plan, Tim." said Mr. Gray-Haired Executive as he shook Tim's hand. "We'll get the contracts sent over to you by the end of the business day on Monday."

Tim flashed his winning smile. "Excellent! We certainly look forward to making this come together for you. You went with the right choice."

"Well, let's just hope that your boss here is getting laid while you're putting the campaign together." the man said dryly, leaning into shake Ben's hand. Again, the room bust into fits of laughter and yet again, Ben did not. "I do have a few connections in the city if you ever need some help in that department. They don't come cheap, but they sure as hell are worth every single penny."

Ben accepted his hand, his grip tighter than normal considering he didn't like the asshole's comment. It didn't matter though, Ben knew how to handle his type without being too offensive. Or not. Again, he didn't a flying fuck. Ben's mouth slid into a sly grin.

"I'm sure that they are, and I greatly appreciate the offer, but I've never really had to pay for services like that, if you know what I mean? They usually just come willingly to me. But hey, you do what you have to do."

The man's smile immediately fizzled, a tight frown replacing it, but Ben didn't even give him a chance to speak.

"As my assistant said, we look forward to receiving those contracts, Mr. Rosendale." Ben said, walking him over to the door. He held it open for the group of polished wealthy staring back at him. "My assistant's correct, though. You went with the right choice. First Order Holdings is about to rock the shit out of your campaign. We're going to keep you all very, very wealthy. Dry martinis and expensive call girls galore."

The frown creasing the man's forehead ceased as his mouth crooked upward into a slow, smart-ass smile.

"I have the utmost faith you and your assistant will do right by us, Mr. Solo. But just so you know, kid, I don't do dry martinis. No, I prefer Scotch. A Dalmore 1962 Single Highland Malt Scotch to be exact." 

"Excellent choice." Ben said, unbuttoning his $22,000 black Armani suit. He knew the guy was being a dick, trying to push a $58,000 bottle of scotch in his face. Ben smiled with every intentions of being a dick right back. "I'll have our secretary send you two cases so you're properly stocked. Sound good?"

The man hesitated, a moment, his eyes sharpening. "Sounds very good. We'll see you again March."

Without another word, he nodded in Tim's direction nd walked out of the office, his crew of equally arrogant bastards behind him. Ben strode across the office and chuckled when he heard Tim slam the door.

"And just what the fuck was that all about?!" Tim bit out. "It's not enough that you were in a daze during the meeting, but you almost kill the damn contract in typical Ben Solo fashion!"

Ben turned, his eyes narrowed. "What the fuck is that supposed to mean?!"

"Do I really need to spell it out for you, little man?"

"Yeah, maybe you do." Ben replied dryly. 

Crossing his arms, he perched on the edge of the table, awaiting Tim's response. Head tilted, Tim shoved his hands deep into his pants pockets. He felt something was off with Ben the second the meeting had started---now he knew, his assumption was correct.

Ben was fucking out of it today.

"Seriously, dude, we've worked on that bid for months. Where the fuck were you at? Tahiti, thinking about getting your tan on with your girl?!"

His sentences were clipped, and Ben could tell that Tim was losing his patience. Normally, Ben would be the only giving him the lecture, given he was above Tim, but here lately it felt like Tim was running the show and not Ben.

But even though Ben was having a pretty shitty day, guilt-spilled through him. Damn it! Tim was correct, They'd both worked endless hours to gain the account.

To hell with himself; his assistant had spent night after night away from Melanie and the kids, making sure that everything was on point for the meeting.

Ben's face softened. "Look, I'm sorry, all right?"

Tim sighed, his tone calmer. "Seriously, dude, what's going on with you this morning, man? I could tell something was bothering you when you came in this morning."

Ben glanced down at his watch. He had a limited amount of time to explain what'd happened. Bringing his attention back to Tim, he felt this blood surge through his entire body.

"Poe it Rey the morning of their wedding."

Tim's mouth dropped open. "WHAT?!"

"Yeah, he fucking hit her, and he showed up at her job yesterday." Standing, Ben plowed his hands through his hair as he thought about the conversation he and Rey had after making love last night.

She'd further tilted his world on its axis when she'd explained that Poe went to her school. Though Ben wanted to make her quit job that second, he couldn't. Working at Naboo Inc. meant too much to her and she loved her job. But it was all good.

Without Rey's knowledge, Ben had already placed a call this morning, making sure that she would be followed everywhere. A little cash and an old buddy who'd just finished a seven-year bid upstate would hang constantly in Poe's shadow for the rest of his fucking life. 

"Did you know that he hit her?"

Tim's eyes went wide. "Jesus Christ, Ben! Why the fuck would you assume that I knew anything about it?! No, I didn't know!"

"I guess I assumed you because apparently Hux knew and didn't even bother to tell me!" Ben stalked across the office to retrieve his keys as his head hammered through round two of last night's conversation.

Before Rey fell asleep, she had told him everything. Ben tried to shake off the mess of emotions that'd also taken up residence in his mind after her confession. Though Rey insisted that Hux had made her promise to tell Ben if they got back together, it just didn't sit right with him.

**********

He'd seen Hux the day she moved into his penthouse. As a matter of fact, the fucker acted as if life was just dandy. Little did Ben know his life was about to become more complicated than ever before.

"He knew and he didn't say anything?!" Tim questioned, sitting down at the table. "And let me make myself very clear here. I'm your friend, almost like your brother, all right?! I'd never hide anything like that from you! You got it?!"

"Yeah, I got it. But he's like a brother to me." Ben murmured, flicking his eyes down to his watch. No doubt his driver had already picked up Rey from work. He needed to leave to make it across town on the time to meet her. "I haven't spoken to him yet, but I plan on making sure I do soon. I'll deal with him then."

"I see." Tim nodded. "Besides, I'm sure dealing with Poe is on the top of your priority list."

Tim rolled his neck, and cracked his knuckles, a wicked smirk tipping his mouth. Ben couldn't help but find the amusement in all this, seeing as he was trying to hold back a growing smile on his face.

"You know, I am slightly older and not as buff as you are, but if you ever want some help, I'd be more than willing to go a few round with the prick."

Ben then rose to his feet and made his way over towards the door, he hesitated a moment before tuning back to look at Tim. "Look, I have to get out of here. I'm meeting Rey for lunch in forty-five minutes."

"Wait!" Tim blurted, standing to his feet. "How come you just gave me that look? Don't tell me that you're not going to toss the asshole around a little for what he did to her? I know you better than you think, Ben. What's up?"

Sighing, Ben stopped shy of the door and slowly turned around. "Rey made me promise that I wouldn't go after him."

At this, Tim drew his brows together and chuckled slightly. "Ben, you're dealing with a woman who also made you promise not to buy her a car because she thinks they're unnecessary in Manhattan."

Ben couldn't help but grin at this. "I know right? Who gives a shit that it's Manhattan. But she still has no idea that I already ordered her one."

"Exactly." Tim laughed and he sat back down. Features serious again, he tented his hands beneath his chin. "Now go order up a side of kicking some Poe ass. What Rey doesn't know won't hurt her." 

Tim paused, his stare unwavering from Ben's. His smile fading, he knew deep down this was just something Ben had to face. Otherwise, it would give Poe the opportunity to keep interfering with their lives. 

"But what you're sitting on will kill you if you don't do something about this now."

Tim stated those last three words with an air of simplicity, but the truth in them shot through the room. Battling to stay true to his promise Rey, no matter how badly he could taste Poe's blood, Ben simply walked out of the office.

No matter if it was the middle of early-morning traffic, mid-day traffic, or late-afternoon rush hour, traffic in Manhattan blew. Fucking. Blew.

Ben was starting to think Rey's reasoning for not wanting a car wasn't so bad after all. But try as he might, he was addicted to driving.

Sure, he could very easily have his driver cart him around in his limo like the rich, spoiled prick some perceived him to be, but Ben couldn't let go of the sense of control he had behind the wheel.

In fact, he loved it. Windows rolled up and the stereo, blaring, cluster-fuck of Manhattan traffic or not, it was one of the few stolen moments he had to himself that actually calmed his nerves and levied his dark thoughts.

However, as Ben maneuvered through the tidal wave of vehicles clogging the streets, calm wasn't something he was feeling. No. Not even close. His head was jarred. His thoughts became more and more fucked with each passing sound.

Though Disturbed's "Hell", was bursting from the speakers, the only thing Ben could hear was Tim's words reverberating through his head.

_But what you're sitting on will kill you if you don't do something about this now...…_

Sitting on it would definitely kill Ben. This much he knew. He also knew that if he stayed dormant, it would turn him into a bitter man.

Although the thought was something Ben couldn't quite register now, he feared he would come to resent Rey as the years dwindled on. With the café he was supposed to meet Rey at clear in his line of sight, Ben pictured her sitting her sitting at the table waiting for him.

Only a few hundred feet and he'd be there. Another few minutes and he'd be able to keep his promise to her. At least for today.

_But what you're sitting on will kill you if you don't do something about this now....._

_Kill you....._

_Kill you....._

_Kill...._

_You....._

"FUCK IT!" Ben bit out.

Before his brain even had a chance to grasp what his body was doing, from the farthest left lane, Ben cut the wheel hard when the light turned green. He couldn't hear or see them, but a symphony of horns and a display of middle fingers from pissed-off New Yorke drivers were direct at him.

His new destination? Poe's office in the middle of the Financial District. Punching through the gears, Ben managed to plow through the busy city streets without killing anyone. That didn't mean he didn't come close, though.

His blood surged as he blew through a red light crossing over Church Street, nearly clipping the back of an open double-decker bus filled with tourists. Another burst of horns went off. Again, Ben couldn't hear them.

He couldn't see the pedestrians jumping back into the curbs as get out of the way of his speeding black Audi because his vision went blood red. Blood. Fucking. Red.

With one hand gripping the wheel, he used the other to yank the tie from around his neck. As he pulled into the parking garage below Poe's building, he shrugged out of his suit jacket, paid the parking fee, and into an empty parking spot.

After swinging open the door and slamming it closed, Ben made his way to the elevator and hit the button to Poe's floor.

Ben was no longer fighting a fucked-up-battle inside his head. He rolled up his sleeves and sank deep in an eerie sea of calm. He was feeding his body just what it craved in that moment, what it needed. and because of this, he felt high as a kite. 

Drugged. As he rode up to the fifteenth floor, specks and shadows of Rey's beautiful face curled through his mind. His heart sank as he glanced down at his watch.

The very thought of her sitting alone in the café waiting for him, completely unaware of what he was about to do, bothered him immensely. However, he couldn't stop now....he wouldn't.

Ben broke from the elevator when the doors opened, stepping out into a shitload of commotion. It was something he was used to seeing in his own building.

Wearing cheap suits from eBay and ties their grandmothers had bought them for their twenty-first birthdays, young, money-hungry drive cubs paced the bullpen in front of their tiny little cubicles.

With Bluetooth receivers in their sears and polished wealth on the other end of the line, they walked fast, attempting to rip a piece of meat from a portfolio holding more cash than they'd make over the course of a lifetime. 

They jutted their chins up in greeting and Ben knew a couple of them recognized him when he breezed through the chaos.

He simple nodded back, not willing to let them get off track of what he had originally come to do. None of them would end their calls from the potential stack of money they were trying for.

Considering he'd only shared a beer or two with them through the years when Poe had invited him out, Ben really didn't give a shit if any of them ended their conversations to stop and say hello or not. His focus was on the door in the left corner of the massive office.

Behind it was the real piece of meat Ben was about to tear into. No longer calm, the closer he got, Ben felt his unfed hunger splitting his stomach in two.

"Hey there, Ben Solo." a familiar female voice purred.

He dragged his attention from the door holing his lunch beyond it, but his feet never stopped moving forward. "Hey there, Kimberly. Is he in his office? The big man?"

The busty blonde bombshell nodded, her smile radiant, showing all white teeth. "He sure is."

"Good, we're going to need a minute or two." He clipped, rounding the corner of her desk. "Tell any incoming callers you'll have to take a message."

As he approached Poe's door, Ben ducked his towering six-foot-three inch frame in an attempt to see below miniblinds covering up half the glass. Ben's eyes then landed on Poe's back.

He stood in front of his desk, his arms crossed. In one swift motion, Ben swung open the door and closed it behind him. In another, he twisted the lock, sealing them off from anyone who might try to enter.

Ben popped the crick in his neck along with this knuckles. Let the motherfucking games begin!

Without turning around, Poe blew out an annoyed puff of air. "Kimberly, how many fucking times over the last few months have I told you that I'm not fucking you in here any ore? Go back to your desk, and I'll call you later if I feel like it."

"It's not Kimberly, asshole!" Ben growled. His brown eyes zeroed in on Poe when he turned around. "I told you'd that I'd fucking kill you with my bare hands if you ever touched her again!"

Narrowing his eyes, Poe opened his mouth, but before the words could even tumble out, Ben charged at him, tackling him back onto the desk. Though mammoth, the solid piece of cherry wood screeched a few inches from the weight of the two men landing on it.

With Poe pinned beneath him, Ben curled his hands around Poe's neck, barely even noticing the blow from Poe's fist slamming against his mouth. Blood from his split lip dropped down onto Poe's cheek, sliding down to his chin.

As Ben stared into the soulless eyes of a man he'd once considered a friend at one point, flashes of Rey receiving his brutal treatment made the adrenaline spike through Ben's veins. His anger simmered, and Ben had no intention of stopping it from erupting.

Hands wrapped around Poe's throat, Ben lifted up his head and shoved it back down against the desk. It hit the surface with a hard thud. Ben was so sure he'd cracked Poe's skull open.

"You fucking pussy!" Ben spewed, his whole body shaking. "I told you that I'd fucking kill you if you ever hurt her again! You worthless piece of shit!"

"Fuck you and her!" Poe choked out, squirming under Ben's weight. "She deserved every ounce of it!"

Ben squeezed harder, his grip tightening to the point that he could feel Poe's pulse hammering against his thumbs. At this, Poe brought his arms up and circled his fists around Ben's forearms in a lame attempt to pull Ben's hands from his neck.

It didn't work, and it only pissed Ben off that much more. Ben slammed his head against the desk again. After the second, possible skull-cracking blow, Ben heard Poe inhale sharply as he fought to breathe.

Ben also heard his own blood rushing through his ears.

Poe released his hold on one of Ben's arms and swung again, but this time there was no speed in it. It was easy enough for Ben to dodge. Ben could feel him weakening beneath him. Felt him slipping away as he stared into Ben's eyes. Ben watching Poe's calliparies pop to the surface, turning his face a light shade of blue.

And then it hit him.

_Ben Solo, you're more of a man than any other man I've ever known. You have a heart that you wear on your sleeve, and you couldn't do a thing to make me fall even more in love with you than I already am. Not a single thing._

Now, Ben found himself fighting a completely different battle brought on by Rey's words. Something inside him twisted, a debate on whether he should stop or not.

The sick bastard below him might own his emotions in this very moment, but the woman he was willing to kill for would own his heart forever. Choosing love over evil, Ben pulled in a steeling breath, released his hold on Poe's neck, and stumbled away from the desk.

Fisting his hands in his hair, Ben paced back and forth and watched Poe's close to lifeless body slither to the floor, dragging stacks of paper, pens and a telephone with it.

Choking, Poe rolled to his side and clawed to his hands and knees, his chest heaving up and down for a bit.

A barrage of chills overtook Ben's system as he witnessed Poe trying to stand. It was no use. He couldn't do it. Ben had stripped him of any and all energy he held. Ben tore his attention from Poe and latched on to the deep voices and banging coming from behind the closed door.

Ben didn't know if they'd just started or if they were trying to get in the whole time. As Poe's life was slipping through his hands, time seemed to lip by, blurring from one second to the next.

Swallowing hard, Ben strode over towards Poe and grabbed him up by his curling hair. Kneeling down beside him, Ben yanked Poe's face within inches of his. He shook as he spoke, his breath a vicious whisper.

"You had better listen to every fucking word that I'm about to say to you!"

"Fuck off, asshole!" Poe grit out, staring deep into Ben's eyes, his breathing still labored. "You're going to jail for this, motherfucker!"

Ben then quickly elbowed Poe's mouth. Trying to jerk away, Poe winched. Now Ben wasn't the only one supporting a split lip. _How do you like it now, you motherfucking worthless piece of---_

Ben gripped Poe's hair tighter, a sick smirk twisting his mouth. "If you report this, sure, I'll go to prison! But you're lucky that I didn't fucking kill you just now! But just know this---" Ben paused, trying to tamp down his sudden urge to once again choke Poe within inches of his life----"I'll get out one day. Oh, you bet your ass I fucking will! And when I do....nothing, and I mean nothing will stop me from killing you then. Not even the insane love that I have for the woman you threw away like garbage will keep me from making sure that you never take another fucking breath! So, consider this bit of information before you go running to the cops! If you know me at all, then you'll know this isn't an empty threat from a pussy who likes to knock women around. This is coming from a man. A real man! A man who'll laugh all the way to the gas chambers as your mother cries all the way who your fucking grave! Do you understand me?! You stay the _FUCK_ away from Rey, got it?!

Breathing hard, Poe stared at Ben and remained quiet. Simple resolution to the unanswered question. Another elbow to Poe's mouth.

"I said do you fucking understand me?!" Ben snarled, his face curled in anger.

"Yes!" Poe replied through, clenched bloodied teeth.

"Good." Ben replied mildly, standing. He started for the door, but before unlocking it, he turned, his eyes narrowed. "And I ever find out that you showed up to her job again, I'll make sure that it's a closed-casket funeral."

And with that, Ben unlocked the door and pushed through the crowd of people standing around the door. Without even looking back, he heard the clamor of commotion taking place in Poe's office.

Strike that, he heard Poe yelling at everyone to get out of his office. The edge of embarrassment in Poe's tone carried through the air as Ben stepped into the elevator.

On his way down, Ben checked his watch. With less than five minutes to make it across town, he whipped his cell from his pocket and shot Rey a text to let her know that he was going to be a tad bit late. By the time he made it back to his car, she'd replied.

_12:25PM_

_It's okay! I'll be waiting for you. Please, do be careful and no speeding! I love you Ben Solo!_

_REJ_


	9. Chapter 9

Ben pulled out of the garage. As he crawled through traffic, he couldn't help bit flick his gaze down to his cell every few minutes. He re-read Rey's text over and over.

Emotions flying high, Ben was aware that he had to walk into the café holding some semblance of normalcy. He just wasn't sure he'd be able to. Thirty minutes later, he was about to be put to the test.

After finding a parking spot, Ben stepped from his car, slid his hands through his hair, and made his way in. He hadn't taken but three steps into the café when he spotted Rey. His breath faltered as it always did when he saw her sitting at the table and reading a book.

It was then Ben knew he was bound to her. He knew there wasn't a thing that he wouldn't give up for her. Hell, as long as he was inhaling the air around her, every day would feel complete.

Today, he knew he would give up his very freedom for her if it meant that she was safe. His very life. She was in his bloodstream, and he didn't care if he spent the next twenty-some odd years behind bars for it, shacked in chains for what he'd done to Poe.

Ben only hoped that he could remove the shackles around her heart that Poe had left behind, because no amount of kicking Poe's ass could rid her of the scars she had obtained from him. Ben knew he'd always wipe away her tears, but he desperately wanted to be able to wipe away her painful past.

As if she had sensed him coming, Rey lifted her head, a beautiful smile crossing her face when her eyes met his. Cliched or not, her smile lit up the entire room like a ball of fire in a darkened sky. Cliches were created just for her. End of story.

Again, Bent felt as though the breath had been sucked right out of his very lungs. He watched her smile fall away, her face becoming troubled as she stood up. _Damn it!_

Ben shot a glance at his clothing. Stuck in his head on the way over, he'd completely forgotten to fix himself. He knew he must have looked liked a disheveled mess. He wasn't wearing his suit jacket, and his shirt was untucked.

Forget about his missing tie or the tiny specks of blood dotting the front of his crisp white-button down.

As Ben moved towards her, raw power flowing from his body, Rey swallowed back the sick feeling seeping into her stomach. Meeting him in the middle of the overcrowded café, inches apart from each other, the voices surrounding her faded and figures blurred.

His face blinded her to everything else. His breath was all she could hear. Though he wore a mask of cool passivity, his brown eyes said more than they should. They spoke volumes, inspiring an ache within Rey's heart. She knew what he'd done. She didn't even need to ask. 

Rey dropped her gaze from his swollen lip dappled with blood and stared down at his shirt. Lifting her eyes, she felt his steady gaze, and she could tell that he was waiting for something from hers.

An approval possibly, words that would let him know she was okay with what'd happened. Not knowing how to begin, she simply looped her arms around his neck and brought his mouth down to hers.

Ben pulled her into him, his hands gripping her waist and molding her body against his. "I'm sorry, but I had to do it, Rey." Ben breathed, kissing her softly. "I-I wouldn't have been able to live with myself if I hadn't done it."

Threading her fingers through his thick mane of black hair, Rey choked back a threatening sob. "I know you wouldn't have, and I'm sorry that I didn't expect you not to."

Ben went to speak again, but Rey kissed him harder, guilt flowing through her body, As her senses spiraled into his touch, Ben's blood rolled around on her tongue, the taste deliciously intoxicating because she knew why it was there. She knew he'd been wounded in defending her. The one thing she thought she knew was all wrong.

For a brief moment, she was sure Ben couldn't do anything to make her love him more than she already did.

This, however, proved to be false as she stood in the middle of a packed Manhattan café, kissing the man who'd forever changed her world....her very life. The man that she loved a million times more than a few minute earlier.

Blind to further evil and deaf to the sound of every crying again, Ben, crashed, and fell deeper in love with Ben than she thought was even humanly possible.

She loved Benjamin Organa-Solo to perfection. He was _worth_ every hour, every minute, ever single solitary second.

"Babe, I'm pretty sure id you squeeze my hand any tighter, I'm going to lose circulation in my fingers." Ben looked down at Rey's sweating hand intertwined with his as if she were on a roller coaster ride and holding on for dear life.

He knew that she was terrified of flying, but shit, considering she was half his size, he couldn't believe the grip on her. _Fucking hell, babe! I'm gonna need those!_

"Listen, would I be any good to you of I lose my fingers or worse my whole hand? I know that I'm extremely talented, but only having one hand to work with might prove difficult during foreplay."

Rey swallowed, trying to focus on Ben's dimpled smile. "Right. One hand's definitely no good." She drew in a cleansing breath, slightly loosened her hand, and squeezed her eyes closed. "How much longer until we're on the ground?"

Lifting his right hand, which happened to be the one she wasn't trying to demolish, he stroked his knuckles along her jaw.

"Ten minutes tops."

"Ten minutes tops." She repeated, her voice shaky. "Okay. Ten minutes tops. I can do this. I can do this."

Ben chuckled. "I have absolute faith you can. But really, I offered to keep you pretty busy, and you declined. You know that I would've been good for a four-hour flight and then some."

Smiling, Rey opened her eyes, her brows lifted. "Benjamin Organa-Solo!"

"Rey Johnson." He mocked, his grin widening. "I was simply trying to calm your nerves by proper initiating you into the mile high-club, is all. The only thing you would've had to fear was that I might not have stopped once we had landed. The jet would've been rocking back and forth on the runway." He leaned over and brushed his nose against hers, his words low and husky. "Oh....yes."

"You're sick, Ben." She laughed, nipping at his bottom lip.

"Sick in love, baby."

As the plane began it's decent from the clouds, Rey retightened her hold around Ben's hand, her whole body once again taut with fear. She leaned and exhaled. Landing was the part she dreaded the most.

"Oh.....My.....God!"

"You make that sound so fucking hot." Ben teased, but not really. She honestly sounded hot saying it. "I've said it plenty of times before. You have the ability to make the simplest phrase around sexual. I just had the sweetest vision of you sitting in a confessional booth, talking to a priest."

"Ben!" She breathed, fighting against the smile cracking along her face.

Ben leaned over, dragging his bottom lip between his teeth as he stared into her widened hazel eyes. 

"I'm talking about pigtails, mini-skirt! Legs slightly parted, black lace panties. Mmm, lucky fucking bastard." Rey tried to breathe as he trailed his hand up her bare leg. Tingles shot down her spine. "You were confessing the naughty things I do to you that you can't get enough of it."

He slowly slipped his fingers underneath her skirt, gently nudging open her legs. 

"Ben....we're on a fucking plane!"

"Just like we were on a fucking road in the middle of Mexico too, doll." He smirked; cautiously keeping his eyes on the stewardess. "You like the way I make you moan while fucking on those pretty pink nipples. The way, right before you cum, I hold you back and start all over again while licking your sweet pussy. Your panties were drenched. Your breathing was heavy. Your whole body was...boiling for me like it is right now."

Rey couldn't think as he leaned in, grazing his soft lips against hers. Pulling her bottom lip between his teeth, he circled his fingers along the edge of panties.

"And what guess what?" He whispered, his voice low, his eyes intense.

She could barely get out a word. Hell, she could barely even think straight._ Damn him! Fucking damn him!_

"What?" She breathed, her mind concentrating heavily on his other hand---that'd come loose from her death grip--floating up the side of her breast.

"We've landed, sweets." He slipped his tongue into her mouth, kissed her passionately for a damn millisecond, and stood, his megawatt grin beaming from ear to fucking ear.

Sitting lax in her seat, panties severely dampened, she watched him yank their carry-on's from the overhead compartment, his face as cool as a cucumber. "You're seriously evil." Rey stood, her lips pursed in disappointment. "Pure fucking evil."

Reaching for her hand, Ben chuckled. "I'm evil?"

Rey nodded and slung her purse over her shoulder. "Yes, you are.....severely." She laced her fingers in his as they made their way toward the front of his jet. "Don't even try to play innocent, Solo. You're so evil, and I think you know it."

"Me? I was a Catholic altar boy growing up, and now you have me thinking impure, cast-me-straight-into-the-depths-of hell wicked thoughts. My poor mother would be devastated. So who's the evil one now?"

Rey giggled, following him. They stepped out of the jet and into the clear, sunny air of San Diego. Rey inhaled, taking in the warmth of the sun. Ben kinked back his head, a smirk plastered across his lips.

"Miss Johnson, it's apparent I'm the victim here. You, my little vixen should be wearing a diamond-studded horns on your head."

Rey snorted at these words. "And I bet you'd still find that sexy, wouldn't you?"

"Oh beyond reason." Ben answered, handing their bags over to his chauffeur. He then pulled Rey into his arms, his smile wide. "I wouldn't mind that as my Christmas gift tomorrow. You, naked on my bed, in a red bow, wearing those devil-like horns."

Rey lifted a brow, her voice husky. "But Solo you forgot the best part."

"Do explain?" Ben asked, his curiosity peaked.

"You forgot about red and black six-inch stiletto heels, my hair pinned up off my shoulders, and a bottle of champagne in my hands. My belly button could serve as your glass."

Ben's brown eyes flared with instant, primal need. "You better get your ass in the limo before I throw you over my shoulders and put you in there myself." He opened the door for her.

"Is that a threat?" Rey asked nonchalantly, trying to rile him up as she slipped in She scooted across the cool leather seat and watched Ben duck in behind her. "Because if so, it wounded...weak."

Without a moment's hesitation, Ben dragged her body on top of this, straddled her legs over his waist, and hit the button for the privacy screen, sealing them off from the driver's view. Rey went warm with pleasure as Ben erased his hands through her hair, bringing her lips down to his.

He kissed her hard, his tongue licking greedily over hers. God, he tasted so good. A cross between the bourbon he was drinking on the flight over and minty gum. It made her high. He made her high.

His smell, touch, and taste did things to her body she'd never experienced. She couldn't help but moan into his mouth as be slid a hang along her neck, down the arched curve of her spine, finally settling on her waist.

His grip tightened in her hair; his kiss becoming desperate. Her heart took a nosedive into her stomach.

"B-Ben---wait!" She breathed. "My cousin's house is less than five minutes away."

Still kissing her, he slipped his hands under her shirt, his voice strangled deep with molten desire. "I'll just tell the driver not to stop until we're finished then."

Pulling back, a frown split her lips. She glanced down at her watch. "Ben, we can't! It's already four o'clock! Dinner's at a quarter after. My cousin's borderline OCD! She'll seriously panic if we leave her waiting!"

Sighing, Ben scrubbed his hands over his face. Staring at Rey, he just shook his head, a lazy grin pulling at his mouth. "You know I'm inhaling every single inch of your body after everyone goes to sleep tonight, right?"

Rey smiled. "I hope that you do, Solo."

"Oh trust me, I have every intention of doing so, Miss Johnson." Resting his hands on her hips, he swept his gaze over her face. "Okay, let's play a little game of twenty questions."

Rey gave him a look of confusion. "Uh...okay?"

"Rey, seriously, I have a massive hard-on right now that I'm pretty sure isn't going down anytime soon. I'm also pretty sure it won't look good in front of your cousin and her husband. I need something to take my mind off the things I was planning on doing to on the way over there. You get where I'm going with this?"

Covering her mouth, shocked, Rey stifled a laugh. "Yes, I do. Okay. Twenty questions. You start?"

Ben then shifted beneath Rey, trying to ignore his need to rip every bit of clothing from her body and muttered. "My driver knows where we're going, but I forgot the name oft he town they live in."

"Vallt."

"Isn't that a beach community?" Ben asked, swiping a hurried hand through his dark hair.

Rey nodded, clearly able to see he was still suffering. "Right on the beach, actually. It's perfect, Ben. I know that you'll love it." She answered quickly.

Ben cleared his throat. "Nice, and I'm sure that I'll love anything as long as you're with me, babe. So what exactly does your cousin's husband do for a living?

"He's a computer engineer."

"Ah, a real computer geek. That's cool."

Rey slowly smiled. "Yes. A certified computer geek."

"And your cousin? What does she do for a living if you don't mind me asking?"

"She's also a computer engineer. They met during college and sort of hit it off. They got married about two years ago."

Ben lifted a brow, the corner of his mouth tipped upward. "Wow, two computer geeks until one roof. That sex must be pretty...._dull._"

Rey crinkled her forehead. "What does that have anything to do with it? I'm a pretty big nerd too, in case you've forgotten. I mean did my Hufflepuff scarf not give that away or what?"

"Mmm, no you're not. What you are is incredibly fucking sexy--a real working woman who doesn't take bull-crap from anyone." said Ben, licking his lips hungrily.

Rey let out a laugh. Knowing she shouldn't but unable to resist her urges, she slowly leaned down and placed a soft kiss on his lips while circling her hips against his growing erection.

"I'm seriously starting to think that maybe you need therapy."

Circling his hands around her waist, Ben flicked his copper-eyes to her plump lips. "I'm really going to need a cold shower if you do that again for sure. Or I could just tell the driver to keep going while I give you an early Christmas gift of my own in the back of this limo. Don't say that I didn't warn you."

"Deal." Rey smiled, but her features quickly softened. "Thank you, Ben." She whispered.

**********

Confusion blanketed the front of his face at these words. "For what, babe?"

"For coming out here with me for Christmas. Even though we celebrated early with them, I know that it's hard for you to spend it away from your family. Especially, from your mom."

Rey was correct. This was the first time Ben wouldn't spend Christmas surrounded by his own family, but it was also her first Christmas without her presents. He knew she should be at her cousin's side. He gently ran his hands over her arms.

He hoped that being together on Christmas would ease some of the grief he knew they would experience along the way.

"Don't thank me. I'm happy to be here with you. Look, all I want is love and take care of you, Rey. I know that you need your family right now. Nothing would've stopped me from making sure you were out here with Jyn and Cassian." 

His words tightened around Rey's heart, anchoring deep in her soul, a place no one else had ever attempted to gain access to. No one.

Staring at perfection, both inside and out, Rey slowly leaned down to kiss him, wanting nothing more than to pour every ounce of her love into that kiss. As Ben's mouth whispered over hers, Rey had never felt more alive, never felt more complete than she did right there and then.

At the same time, sadness also kicked in. She'd nearly lost this beautiful man. Fate had such a weird way of circling back over paths that were meant to cross. This was something Rey had always believed in and she knew it'd happened with her and Ben.

Now, here wasn't a thing she wouldn't do to make sure their paths never drifted apart from each other again.

"I really liked that kiss." Ben whispered as Rey pulled back. "But you know what that kiss did to me, right?"

Rey then laughed. "Yes, I do. I'm sitting on top of you, so I can literally feel what it's done."

"Okay, but just as long as you remember that I'm inhaling you later tonight, it's all god." Ben shifted, trying to get comfortable as his body screamed at him. "And I don't care if your cousin and Cassian hears us."

Smiling, she shook her head. Her gaze shifted to the sandy beaches and rocky shorelines coming into view as the limousine made its way into her cousin's hilly seaside neighborhood.

Vallt was nothing short of a pure oasis, a glorious retreat from the sweet insanity of New York.With the sun beginning its decent, the overall scenery popped and sparkled with vibrant Christmas lights twinkling against each home they passed. Rey sighed. She simply loved this time of the year.

As suspected, Jyn was eagerly awaiting when they stopped in front of the home, her smile showing she was as excited as Rey. Rye heard her high-pitched squeak, and it made her laugh. After dropping a quick kiss on his cheek, she hopped off of Ben's lap, swung open the door, and raced into her cousin's arms.

She hugged Jyn tightly, comforted by her presence. Though it had been at least a year since she had last seen Jyn, it'd felt like an eternity, considering everything that had happened.

"Oooh, a fancy limo!" Jyn drawled, her eyes resting on Ben stepping out of the vehicle. "Nice tough."

Rey looked over at Ben and smiled. "Yeah, he has his sneaky ways." Dragging her attention from the man who couldn't even begin to know just how much he already making her Christmas bearable, Rey placed her hands on Jyn's shoulders. "I'm literally starving! Is dinner ready yet? Oh, and please, _please_ tell me that you went and made my mom's famous casserole?!"

"It is, and I did. But....before we go inside, I have to tell you something."

Rey stared at her cousin's face that'd suddenly take on a look of distress. "What's wrong, Jyn?"

"Wex is here."

"What?!" Rey asked, exasperated. Keeping her voice low, she stepped closer. "Jyn, why didn't you tell me that he was going to be here?!"

"I didn't even know he was coming. He stopped by on his way through to see his parents in Laguna Beach. He literally called five minutes before showing up to the house!"

Rey let out a low sigh, and shook her head. This day was not going at all the way she had hoped that it would. It had been five or at least six years since she had even seen Wex, much less spoken to him. Maybe he'll just say hello and then be on his way? Yeah, that's totally it!

"I know, I know. Talk about awkward." Jyn frowned. "But he's not saying the night or anything."

"Well, thank God for that."

"Thank God for what?" Ben asked as he then approached the two women, his and Rey's luggage clutched tightly in his hand. 

Biting down on her lip, Rey battled on whether or not to tell him about Wex---not that she could really hide it from him anyways; the real question here was whether or not to tell him exactly who he was. Rey cleared her throat, deciding it was best to be honest and then took the plunge into complete honesty.

"Uh, someone that I used to date is here."

"Oh." Ben said simply. Snapping his eyes between the two women, a smirk lifted the corner of his lips. "Should we be expecting Poe for dinner as well?"

Rey's mouth dropped open as Jyn let out a gut-belly laugh. "No, Ben." Though they had never met face-to-face, Jyn had been filled in on her cousin's wild and passionate relationship with him. Not to mention she thought he was a far better match for Rey than Poe any day. Jyn then pulled him in for a hug. 

"It's good to finally meet you, Ben, and no absolutely not. Poe won't be attending dinner tonight."

"It's good to finally meet you as well, and it's quite refreshing to hear that I won't have to break bread with, and excuse my language, the biggest fucking asshole that I've unfortunately had the dishonor of knowing." Jyn nodded in agreement as Ben snaked his arm around Rey's waist. Leaning unto her, he whispered. "So, just how serious were you with the unnamed gentlemen in your cousin's house, doll? Did you sleep with him?"

Rey let out a breath, her eyes wide. "No, Caveman, I didn't sleep with him. He came a little obsessed with wanting to date me is all."

"Obsessed?" Ben questioned, his brows furrowed.

"Wex is a good guy, Ben." Jyn interjected. "A little quirky, but nonetheless, a pretty decent guy. I went to college with him, and we became best friends. He took my cousin out on a few dates, but that's all. But let's just say after her interest in him faded, he didn't give up so easily."

Ben smiled one of those killer, sexy smiles known to drop panties. His amber eyes lit up with raw humor. "Ah, well, who am I fault the man for something like that? Your cousin brings out an honest fight in any warm-blooded creature. As long as he didn't develop any sort of stalker tendencies since I'm the only Caveman allowed to get like that with Rey, I see a very enjoyable evening in out future."

Again, Jyn laughed as Rey let out another exhausted breath. Ben shot Rey a wink, his lips grazing her ear as they followed Jyn into the house.

"Come on, you know that I'm going to have a little fun with this guy if he pushes the wrong buttons, right?"

"You?" Rey playfully questioned as they stepped into the foyer. She closed the door and cupped Ben's cheek. "You're not only known for your own stalkerish tendencies. I've come to know you as one of the biggest wise-asses that I've ever had the pleasure of loving. Just, please promise me that you won't be too hard on him, okay?"

After setting down their luggage, Ben dipped his head and kissed Rey's lips. "I'll try to do my best. But I promise nothing."

She rolled her eyes and looped her arm through his, leading him into the kitchen. where Wex was leaned against the counter while Jyn's husband, Cassian helped set the dinning room table. When Wex saw Rey, his face lit up, his smile more than showing that he was happy to see her again.

Rey flicked her gaze to Ben, his smile more than showing he was definitely going to have his own share of fun with Wex.

Wex headed right in her direction, his smiled widened. "There you are, kiddo! I had no idea that you were coming out until Jyn told me!"

Before he reached for them, Ben leaned down into Rey's ear. "Kiddo? Seriously? What are you, twelve years old or something? I already feel like smacking him across the back of the head just for saying that. Please tell me that I have your permission. I'll be real quick with it, I swear to God, I'll be quick."

"He's nine years older than me." She quickly whispered, nudging him hard in the ribs. It was Rey whose smile widened when she heard Ben release an audible "oof". Looking up at her, she shot him a wink this time. "Be_ nice t_o him, please."

Rubbing his rib, Ben mocked severe pain for a second and then grinned. "Whatever you say....._kiddo._"

**********

"Hi, Wex!" Rey said as he approached. "Yes, it was kind of a last-minute trip."

Wex smiled warmly. "The one who got away from me. It's been way too long. You look absolutely beautiful---as ever. Actually, no let me take that back, you look stunning." Sweeping his gaze from Rey, his eyes then landed on Ben. "And who do we have here?"

"We have here this stunning woman's boyfriend." Ben held out his hand. 

Wex shook it, and immediately Ben found his grip to be weak. Yeah, he'd very easily be able to knock him around if he needed too.

"I'm Ben. Ben Solo. It's a pleasure meeting you, Wex. Rey's told me a ton about you. It's always good putting faces with the names of men that she got away from."

Stepping back, Wex rubbed his chin, carefully analyzing Ben with his beady eyes.

"That's odd. She never once mentioned your name the last time that I spoke to her."

"Which was over a year and a half ago." Rey blurted out, staring up at Ben, who now hard is eyes narrowed in on Wex. "I wasn't dating anyone at the time."

"Right. Right." Wex agreed, his eyes still locked nervously on Ben. "That would make a lot of sense, I guess."

Ben was far from an asshole. He could tell the guy was trying to ruffle up his feathers. He then felt it was time to pluck some feathers of his own from the fucking turkey.

"I knew right away that you looked like a smart man, Wex." Ben said calmly, sweeping his arm around Rey's waist. "I can spot them from a mile away."

"Is that a talent of yours?" Wex questioned.

Ben lifted a brow, a smirk toying at this mouth. "One of many you could say. Just as Rey here. She seems quite happy with my....many talents. I'm pretty sure that I can keep her from getting away any time soon."

Oh Jesus Christ! If Rey had a knife, she could've cut right through this awkward alpha-male tension that was filling up in the air.

"Hey! Hey! Hey!" Cassian approached the group, his jovial voice music to Rey's ears.

Tension deflating like a balloon, Rey leaned into the embrace of her cousin's husband, hoping he could at least bring a little balance to the semi-heated situation. She then let out a weighted breath.

"Hey, there big brother."

"Hey there, little sister." Cassian laughed, releasing Rey from his bear hug. "You're looking good."

"You're not looking too bad yourself?" Rey said, her smile growing wider by the second.

Cassian patted his stomach. "You like the extra cushioning?"

Rey giggled. "No, I love it!"

Wearing a proud smile, Cassian then turned to Ben and shook his head. "Hey, buddy. It's good to finally meet you in person---Rey's told Jyn all about you. I was beginning to think she might have made you up or something for the longest time."

Ben accepted Cassian's hand, giggling. "You too, man. No, I assure you I am one-hundred perfect real. So how goes things?"

"Oh you know, same old. Just be extra careful with this one." He said, jerking his chin in Rey's direction, a grin smothering his face. "If you stay with her long enough and she ever learns to cook, she might turn you into a fat slob the way her cousin did to me."

Ben chucked. "I'll happily take whatever she can give me. Even the clogged arteries."

"Good man." Cassian patted Ben's shoulder. "We're about to get this show started. Who's ready for some serious kick-ass food?"

Feeling her stomach growl, Rey grabbed Ben's hand and started for the dining room, dragging him along with her.

"I am!" She plucked a basket of rolls from the counter and craned her head back to look at Ben. "You're ready to eat, right?"

"It depnds on what I'm eating." He whispered into her ear, his tone seductive. Wrapping his free hand around her waist, he pressed his pelvis against her ass. "Unless my assumption keeping you from getting away was wrong, I'd like to enjoy my dessert somewhere on your body after dinner."

Sucking in a deep breath and tingles overtaking very inch of her body, Rey stopped and watched Cassian and Wex breeze into the dinning room. Wex's eyes locked onto hers until he disappeared around the corner. Rey spun around, her gaze catching the sexiest brown ever place upon a man's face.

"Benjamin Solo, you listen to me right now."

Her eyes dropped to his luscious plump lips which were now forming a smart-ass smirk. She bit her own lip in an effort to cause pain that might possibly distract her. It didn't work. Ben then stepped closer, and the smell of his cologne completely fucked up her plans.

God, she wanted him. Badly.

Her heart jumped into her throat as he nuzzled his nose against her hair. She tried to breathe, but was finding it near next to impossible.

"You're not listening to me."

"I'm all ears, sweets." He said, his voice low. "Talk to me."

"You're making it rather difficult." She breathed.

And he was because his hand was now lightly rubbing the back of her neck, his eyes drilling deep into hers. "I'm making it difficult for you to speak, doll?"

"Yes, you unimageable bastard. You are." She whispered.

Ben chuckled. "God, I love it when you get nasty one me. You have no fucking idea how much it turns me on."

Wanting to melt into him right there, Rey poked her head into the dining room. Everyone was already seated and waiting for them. She turned back to him, her voice becoming heated.

"Ben Solo, are you going to make me beg you to stop?"

Ben blinked. "Are you trying to get me to take you right here in this very kitchen? If you are, I'll gladly accept the invitation."

Shaking her head and about ready to let him do exactly that, Rey laughed and reached for his hand, once again pulling him along. The escape into the dining room was quick but comical as she heard Ben released a dejected sigh.

She felt bad, but considering he commanded a room by simply being in it, she loved knowing that she had power over him.

"So how'd she do on the flight, Ben?" Cassian asked. "Did you need to drug her up?"

Rey just rolled her eyes as Ben pulled out her seat. "No, he didn't have to drug me up."

Lounging into the chair next to her, Ben smirked, slipped his hand under the table, and rested it calmly on Rey's thigh. Drawing in tiny circles along her silk skirt, he smiled whenever he felt her body shift.

"I was able to talk her down. It was easier than I expected it to be, though."

"That's good." Cassian said, dumping a pile of green beans onto his plate.

"Yes, but I'm sure that being on a private jet helped some." Jyn said, reaching for a bowl of mashed potatoes. After scooping some out, she then handed them to Rey. "Those seven-forty-sevens scare the shit out of me."

"Private jet?" Wex stared in shock from across the table. "Did you hit the lotto or something."

Ben turned to Rey, a lazy smile on his face. She leaned over and kissed his gently on the cheek---which immediately filled his body with intense heat.

"In more ways than one." She whispered.

Ben then squeezed her thigh, his smile widening. Rey shoveled some mashed potatoes onto her plate. Looking at Ben, her eyes questioned if he wanted some. Ben nodded, and she served him a pile.

"No, Wex, the jet's Ben's. And Jyn, you're correct. It's better than flying on sever-forty-sevens. But either way, you're still in the air where humans don't belong and I still hate it."

Both Ben and Cassian chuckled. "Shit!" Jyn chimed, standing to her feet. "What are you two drinking?" She then asked, looking over at Ben and Rey.

"Red wine." Rey answered.

"Thank you." Ben said. "I'll just take a beer if you have one."

Jyn nodded and whisked off into the kitchen. Leaning back on his seat, Wex crossed his arms. "A man who owns a jet drinks something as simple as a beer? I would've thought someone who could afford such luxury would prefer something more refined. I guess looks can be deceiving."

Rey's eyes immediately flew over to Ben--clenching his jaw--to Cassian, his hand halted with his fork inches from his mouth. She swallowed nervously, placing her hand over Ben's on her tight.

Amusement at the asshole's statement glimmered in Ben's eyes as he leaned back in his own chair, crossing his arms. "I wasn't aware there were rules and regulations to what one should drink whether they're rich, poor, or somewhere in the middle, Wex. It'd be interesting to hear how you formed this...opinion, though."

Jyn emerged from the kitchen and handed Rey and Ben their drinks. Ben then popped the top off the bottle, leaned over and placed a luscious kiss on Rey's lips as he then slid the cap into her palm.

Leaving Rey breathless, he returned his attention to Wex. A simpering smile broke out across Ben's face as he continued degrading Wex for his own personal pleasure.

"Please, what's your source of information? I'm curious to know. Reader's Digest? Newsday? Or perhaps even a woman's magazine?" Before he let Wex answer his barrage of questions, Ben leaned back over to Rey and whispered. "I owed you a bottle cap since the last few times I drank, I forgot to give you one. I'm sorry."

Cupping his cheek, she stared deeply into his eyes. "I love you. And I love your bottle caps more than you'll ever know."

Ben quirked a brow. "Yeah? Even though I have a fuck-load of money, you love my bottle caps? Should my caps be more....refined?"

"No." She said breathlessly. "They're perfect....like you."

"Are you sure?" He whispered, his eyes searching her face. "Wex and his semi-bald head might disagree with you."

"Wex's an asshole and you're perfect." She whispered back, lacing her hands around his neck and pulling him in for another kiss.

Uncasing that everyone seated at the table was most definetley watching them at this point, Rey indulged in his lips for a few more seconds before finally pulling away. Staring deep into her eyes, Ben mouthed the word "inhaling" before once again shooting his glare back over towards Wex.

"Sorry about that. Sometimes I find it hard to control myself where Rey's concerned. I'm sure you understand. Oh wait, you couldn't. She's the one who got away." Ben threw him a wink and picked up his fork. "Back to what I was saying. Your source of information on such an outlandish assumption would be...what?"

Wex shifted in his chair and cleared his throat. "No source of information. I guess, it was just an assumption."

Jyn's eyes went wide, clearly confused by the conversation that'd taken place while she had been getting their drinks earlier. Smiling at her cousin, Rey just shook her head, trying to stifle a bought of laughter threatening to erupt from her belly.

"That's what I figured you'd say." Ben said, bringing his unrefined bottle of Budweiser to his lips. "So, what do you do for a living exactly, Wex?"

Wex adjusted his tie, the uncomfortable set in his body palpable. "I own a real estate development company."

Seated to Rey's right at the head of the table, Cassian swung hos head over in Rey's direction, his voice low. "Sorry---but Wex's a moron. Always has been and always will be. But I can deal with him because I love your cousin."

Rey nodded, admiring the way Cassian's always put Jyn;s feelings before his very own. Cassian then cocked his jaw, glanced at Ben and then back towards Rey once more.

"I have to tell you, that Benjamin Solo's one bad-ass motherfucker. I like him."

With a light smile, Rey glanced over at Ben, who appeared to be paying extra close attention to Wex as he detailed how he started his company, but she knew deep down, the conversation was most likely boring to him. She swept her gaze back to Cassian.

"Yeah, he is. Thank you. I'm so happy you approve."

"How can I not?" Cassian gave her arm a little nudge. "Besides the fact that Jyn told me he dug into Poe for what he did to you, you're glowing and I respect him for making you happy. I really wish you two the very best of luck."

"Thank you, Cassian." Rey leaned over and popped a kiss on his cheek. "I really appreciate that."

"No problem."


	10. Chapter 10

As everyone ate, whether it was because had set him straight or because he simply didn't feel like trying again, Rey enjoyed not having to listen to Wex act like an ass. The tension that'd started the evening quickly disappeared, bleeding away into laughter.

With Christmas music spurring through the air and good home-cooked food in their bellies, they all conversed easily. After clearing the table and bidding Wex an eager good-bye, Rey helped Jyn put the kitchen back in order as Ben and Cassian chael chatted it out about who would win tomorrow's basket ball game.

Staying ever faithful to his New York roots and showing Cassian his wise-ass side, Ben egged him on, saying the New York Knicks were going to wipe the floor with the Lakers. Needless to say, the men agreed to disagree.

Feeling a yawn lurking, Rey decided to grab a shower before turning in for the night. She left the two men to themselves and laughed to herself when she heard Ben mentioning about his beloved Yankees beating her Birds.

She dragged her luggage into the guest room, closed the door, and shook her head, sure he would never let her live one down. As she hauled her suitcase onto the bed, she wondered how many times he could harass her over the course oft he upcoming baseball season.

She was positive it would be too man times to count. She just hoped her Birds would make a sweet comeback, making her harassment even sweeter.

After indulging in a long, hot shower, she towel-dried her hand slipped into soft cotton shorts and a tank top. When she emerged from the bathroom, she found not only Ben's clothing strewed out across the bed but also the door to the balcony wide open.

A breeze curled through the room, causing a shiver to prickle up Rey's spine. Though it was Southern California, the evenings usually brought on cooler temperatures. Pulling a chenille blanket from the queen-sized bed, she wrapped it around her body and made her way onto the balcony.

Sitting in an Adirondack chair, his bare feet perched on the iron railing, wearing a pair of shorts and a T-shirt, Ben sipped on a beer as he watched the waves tumbling in the distance.

Another shiver, one that didn't have anything to do with the colder air, moved through Rey when Ben turned his head to look at her. He caught her gaze, his brown eyes beckoning her in an instant. Longing lit up in the hard angles of his face.

Odd. She was suddenly no longer chilly. 

After putting down his beer, the glass clinking on the concrete, Ben dropped his legs from the railing. Widening his knees, his smile was slow and deliciously sexy. Rey stepped between his thighs and crawled into his lap.

She rested her head back against his hard chest and curled the blanket over their bodies, her sensed immediately drowning in the raw heat emanating from him.

Ben pushed her hair away from her shoulder and lowered his mouth to the crook of her neck, his breath hot as he sucked lightly.

"I've been waiting for you." He whispered, his husky words telling Rey what she already knew.

He was about to inhale her. Snaking his hands underneath her tank top, he ghosted them across her belly, sliding them upward, until he had both breasts cupped in his hands.

"You like leaving me hanging, don't you?"

Butterflies swarmed in Rey's stomach, her body quivering under his delicate touch. "It's the only control that I seem to have over you." She breathed, her voice shaky.

She could almost hear the smile on her his face and she could definitely feel his growing erection pressing against her ass. With his thumbs, he slowly stroked the swell of her breasts.

"Do you want me to keep touching you?"

Nipples hard as pearls, Rey arched her back against his chest. She bit her lip as he gently nipped her shoulder with his teeth. "We're going to stay out here?" She asked.

Her attention then flew down to the beach below them where a group of rowdy, apparently drunk teenagers were now setting up a bonfire.

"They might see us, Ben."

"It's too dark up here. They won't see anything." He whispered.

His low, primal voice vibrated over her skin as he twirled his nipples. Pinching them lightly, he licked behind her ear and then slowly pulled her tank top over her head, dropping it down beside them.

The cool night air chanced across Rey's bare chest. She tried to breathe, tried to think. Words entirely left her mind.

"Now answer my question." He whispered, running his tongue up her neck. "Do you want me to keep touching you?"

She wanted him. Wanted him desperately. With each feather-light touch, she felt her core tighten, throbbing, begging to have any part of him inside her. Ben pinched her nipples again, and she let out a soft moan.

Desire won the battle of her embarrassment about possibly being caught, shattering any thought of not allowing this to happen. Suddenly hyperaware of her body, her cheeks flushed a deep crimson.

"Yes." She whispered. "I want you to keep touching me."

"Tell me where you want me to touch you, Rey." He commanded, his deep voice caressing her very name.

"M-My pussy." Was all that she managed to get out.

"I'm sorry. I couldn't hear you. Can you repeat that for me, doll?" He asked in a low growl, his hands grazing the sides of her rib cage. "Do you wanna run that by me again, a little louder this time?"

Dear, God! His fingertips brushed fire against her skin, simmering heat deep within her belly. "My pussy!" She repeated trying to keep the under of begging from her voice.

"You want me to touch that pretty little pussy of yours, is that it?" He looked his thumbs in her shorts, the hard edge in his tone dripping with carnal need. "Is that what you want?"

"Yes!" she moaned, slightly lifting her ass, as he slipped shorts and panties past her thighs.

With her toes, she yanked them down, the blanket following behind them. To hell with not begging. She was beyond it at this point. She'd do anything he asked her.

"God, Ben, please! Please touch it!" 

The words tasted like chocolate-covered strawberries, sweet and delicious. With one hand around her stomach and the other nudging open her thighs, Ben couldn't help but groan as Rey whimpered before he'd even touched her.

Fuck! She drove him mad. Dismantled him to pieces. He wanted her to spread wide.

"Put your feet up on the edge of the chair."

Pulse racing wildly and already soaked in anticipation. Rey as she was told. Gently, he pushed two thick fingers inside of her, and she tossed her head back against his shoulder, her arms instinctively flying behind her. She tensed, fighting her fear of being discovered.

Quietly moaning, she dug her fingers into his hair, her clawing** grip **tight as she moved in synch with his stokes. With the sound of the tide ripping in and out in the cool night air, and their breathing picking up pace, Rey shamelessly ground harder against his fingers.

Trailing his lips along her shoulder, Ben dragged his free hand from her stomach, up over the lush swell of her breast, and settled it around her neck. He pushed deeper inside her warmth.

Rey's breath caught as he swirled his thumb in quick circles over her wet clit, his low moans and greedy mouth devouring her flesh, arousing her even further.

Pulling her back by the neck, fingers slowly pumping in and out, Ben angled her face and crushed his mouth to hers.

"Take your fucking hands out of my hair and squeeze those beautiful tits for me." He groaned, licking through her mouth.

His voice was so carnal, so full of lust, so unlike the sweet Benjamin Solo she was accustomed to, it made her whole body shake. With his words twisting deliciously in her mind, Rey untangled her hands from his hair, and once again, did as she was told.

Bringing her hands to her breasts, she palmed them for a second before tugging on her nipples. Tension built, growing fierce between her legs. She rode every screaming wave of desire he brought to her body, sending her higher and higher.

Through she was so close, she needed him inside her and she needed him now. She couldn't wait anymore. As if sensing what she wanted, Ben eased his fingers out of her, leaving her pussy hot and wet in their wake.

She could feel the protest crawling up her throat, bit it died on her lips as he hoisted her up, his one hand sliding underneath her ass as the other yanked his shorts and briefs down just enough. Within a split second, he'd pulled her down onto him.

Rey sucked in a ragged breath as she felt the head of his cock spread her swollen flesh, the pleasurable burning sensation nearly sending her into orgasm. Her eyes went wide.

Though still in shock over where they were, his hungry growls and heavy breathing made the risk of getting caught worth her wild. Hot and hard, he was nothing but pure, primal, fierce, consuming alpha male. He filled her. Claimed her. Broke her and owned her completely.

Brought her full circle from the woman that she once was to the woman she was slowly becoming. The woman she was meant to be with him.

"Fuck!" Ben bit out, his voice strained.

Digging his fingers into her hips, the pressure and need that'd built up throughout the day nearly exploded as Rey thrust down hard onto his aching cock. His muscles jumoed and twitched. He brought the fingers he'd had buried inside her to her mouth.

"Taste yourself on me! I want you to lick your sweetness off of my fingers!"

And she did. She sucked on each one with an intensity she'd never before shown him. So entranced by her, Ben felt light-headed as her hand curled around his wrist, licking and stroking her tongue along his fingers.

"Tell me how good my pussy feels on your cock, Ben!"

The demand burst forth from Rey's lips as she pulled his fingers from her mouth, leveraging forward to place her hands on his knees for balance. She moved up and down, her speed increasing.

"Tell me!"

Holy shit, Ben swore he was about to lose it right there. Fisting one hand in her hair, he took the other and gripped her waist, guiding her body in vicious strokes up and down his cock. 

"Fuck, Rey, you feel like heaven wrapped around me! Fucking pure heaven!" 

And she did. Like soft velvet over hard steel. Her slickened warmth, so tight, had Ben's balls nearly climbing up into his stomach. He wanted to spill every ounce of himself into her. But he would wait. Wanting to always get her off first, he slipped his hand from her hair to her clit and rubbed hard and fast.

Fuck! Rey gasped and her muscles tightened, constricting and clamping down around him so fiercely, he wasn't sure that he was going to be able to make it. She saved them both when she arched her body against his chest, her movements a sexy, sensual rhythm.

However, it was all the more devastating to Ben's already heated senses, because now he could feel her core in it's entirety, felt each flick of her lips as she circled his cock.

"Jesus fucking christ, doll!" He groaned, skimming his palm from her waist to her breast. He cupped it tightly, squeezing. With the other, he kept a steady pressure on her clit, stroking and teasing the swollen bud. "That's right, baby. Fuck me slow. Nice and slow. Let me feel every single bit of you!"

So turned on, Rey drew in a breath, feeling completely overwhelmed by the sensations that only he could give her. 

"Please don't stop rubbing me, Ben!" She whispered the plea, bringing her arms up and entangling her fingers in his hair.

God. Between his mouth closing over her shoulder, his hand playing with her breast, and the other tripping it over her clit. Rey was close to done for.

Licking her lips, she whimpered. "God, please, Ben! PLEASE!"

Unrelenting, unforgiving, and unstopping, Ben bucked his hips, filling Rey completely. No longer breathing thinking or worried about who might be watching, painful pleasure shot through her body.

It exploded, unfurling a release so intense, so deep, and wicked in it's potency, she thought she was going to lose her mind. She cried out his name, her voice louder than expected, but she couldn't help it. It was pure fucking bliss.

He was pure fucking bliss.

"Fuck---I'm gonna---I-I can't, Rey!" said Ben, now whining slightly.

"Do it, Ben! Please, I need you to do it!"

Spasms tore through every single one of her muscles as Ben then slid his hand over her mouth. He held it there as she felt his own orgasm hit, tearing through him as she felt hit hot, silky semen spilling heavily into her.

Her body tightened, shuddering violently beneath hers, his breathing coming in rough ragged breaths against her ear. With shockwaves still possessing her and her body limp like a wet rag, lost in a haze of passion, Rey's breathing started to slow.

She turned her head to the side, catching Ben's mouth with hers. For a moment, he kissed her long, deep and hard as he groaned, palming both her breasts now. Spent and completely sated, Ben reached for the blanket and covered both his and Rey's naked bodies.

Moving her long, damp hair away from her bare shoulders, he feathered his lips along her neck.

"I love you, Rey, and I need you to know that there's nowhere else in the entire world I'd rather be than here with you."

Turning, Rey stared into his eyes. They held so much passion and dedication, her heart swelled. With an intensity bordering on obsession's, she kissed him, thankful their roads had crossed paths once again. She drew strength when he was near.

Holding her life in his hands, he was nothing short of carbon to a flame within her, waiting to ignite. Slowly breaking the kiss, Rey turned back around, taking in the heat of Ben's strong arms enveloping her.

Her gaze fell from the clear sky blooming with stars to the dark waves, dappled silver by the light of the moon.

Rey released a satisfied sigh, her soul warm with a love she was certain she'd never be able to find with anyone else. She knew tomorrow would be hard, but somehow, she also knew this might be one of the sweetest Christmases that she would ever have.

As Ben pulled her closer, she was pretty sure she was correct.

***********

Rey awoke when the bright sun coming in through the blinds hit her face, it's warmth not so welcomed considering she and Ben had stayed up into the late hours of the night. Pillowed against his chest, she listened to his peaceful breathing, which calmed her.

But that only lasted so long. Rey's thoughts struck, just as unwelcome as the early-morning waking-up. Flashes of last Christmas hit, a day spent in the hospital next to her dying parents, nearly yanking the air from her lungs.

Poe was also there in her mind, further souring her stomach.

Lifting her head, she glanced over at Ben's beautiful sleeping face, beyond grateful for him. Though she was happier than she could ever remember, her mood shifted as emptiness anchored deep inside her gut.

She didn't want to look back, but ghosts from her past wouldn't allow her to move forward. Her ache for her parents hovered like a dark storm, bringing a cloud of sadness. Trying to escape the despair taking hold, Rey slipped from the bed.

The yearning for her mother followed her with each quiet step she took across the cold wood floor. She shivered as she reached for the door handle, careful not to wake Ben as she opened and closed it. Being the time was just shy of a quarter to eight, the house wasn't alive yet.

Void of any sound and clear of any moment, it left Rey lone in her thoughts.

On a sigh, she moved towards the Christmas tree. Her gaze fell upon several ornaments that she and Jyn had when they were little girls--paper angels glued to clothspins and silver, red and gold-glittered reindeer highlighting each of their names tossed themselves into her memory.

Rey fan her fingertips across the fading reindeers of the past as tears gathered in her eyes. She swallowed, her body instantly shaken, her heart instantly crushed. Had she already been without the only parents she'd ever known for close to a year?

The same parents who'd brought her love and insanity in equal parts? Her mother and father's voice danced in her ears as she tried to compose herself.

Rey didn't even hear Ben come into the room, but she didn't need to. His soothing presence blanketed the air. He wrapped his arms around her from behind as she wiped away an errant tear slipping down her cheek. Still staring at the ornaments, she shook her head and sucked in a deep breath.

"How do I let them go, Ben?"

Ben placed a soft kiss on the crown of the head and, without saying a word, he gently reached of Rey's hand and led her back to the bedroom. Confusion dripped into her mind as she watched him haul his luggage onto the bed.

After unzipping it and pulling out a small black velvet box, he sat on the edge of the bed, motioning Rey toward him. When she approached. he stared at her, his eyes soft with concern. Once again, he reached for her hand and guided her onto his lap. With her back against his bare chest, he moved her hair away from her shoulders.

"You don't let them go, baby." He whispered as he clasped a diamond-studded platinum oval locket around her neck. "You hold onto them with everything that you have. You carry them with you through every joyous moment in your beautiful future. Your accomplishments. Seeing your children's eyes for the first time. Your very life in general. You shoot for the stars with them in mind. They'll be there, watching. You forgive them for the mistakes they made while you were growing up, and during the bad times you have to face, you lean on whatever words of wisdom they gave you. But you never let them go. They wouldn't want you to let them go."

Opening the locket, Rey's breath caught. Her eyes swept over a picture of her parents as teenagers. With the sun shining against her dark hair and her smile highlighting the warm, carefree glow found on one's youth in he her eyes, Rey couldn't help but think it was the happiest photo that she'd ever seen of them.

Rey sniffled and more tears fell. However, these tears were delivered by a man who couldn't even begin to understand the empty space in her heart he'd filled so many times.

Turning, Rey straddled his waist and stared deep into Ben's eyes. The emotions swirling behind them riveted her.

She was in awe that he was even hers. "My God, are you even real?" She whispered.

Holding her gaze, a sad smile lifted his mouth. "Well, I think I am."

"You make me feel like I'm in a dream." Rey confessed, wrapping her arms around his neck. "Like I'm sleepwalking and I don't even know it." Continuing to take in the pure, honest, unselfish man in front of her, Rey lost herself in the fact that he was indeed very much....real.

"That must be one hell of a dream then---"

"No, Ben, I'm serious. I'm able to close my eyes and just....trust you. You're the color on my blank canvas, the light in my dark, the air in my lungs, and to think that I almost let you go. I almost erased us from ever happening. I can't even begin to imagine not having you here with me. Please, tell me know how much I love you, Ben. I need to hear it right now. Please!"

Ben swallowed, his senses reeling. She owned him, mind, body and soul. Words. God, he didn't have enough words to let her know how much she knew she loved him. Even if he did, how could he ever begin to let know how much he knew she'd risked changing her life for him?

Words weren't meant for this moment and Ben knew it. He brought his lips to hers, kissing her softly.


End file.
